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helicoptero

helicoptero

Estoy cansado jefe...
Jun 6, 2023
68
I'm scared it will fail. I thought it was easier to die that way, but didn't take many factors into consideration. When I realized I felt really sad and even more hopeless. It gave me peace to think that I'd be gone easily.
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,278
I must exhaust my sex drive. It's all I enjoy.
 
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kråkevind

kråkevind

Member
Jun 2, 2023
45
Finding a provider for KAP (ketamine assisted psychotherapy) is the harder part and they won't take insurance for it.
This is one of those things I don't understand about insurance companies. For the price you would think they would rather pay for that than what other medications cost. I can see Big Pharma not liking something that can help people that is cheap to manufacture and there's no patent on it.
 
T

tisalerry

New Member
Jun 3, 2023
2
For me it is family and slight amount of hope. After those two reasons is fear of failure (in-spite of reasonable research and preparation).

I do feel my direction towards ctb will only further over time and I just need to prepare towards it.

I have progressed enough towards a definite method (carbon monoxide), but I still have some hope left.

how about you?
I'm giving myself till august, when I reach my 2 years of life insurance which covers suicide by that time so at least my family has some money. It also gave me time to make some more memories though it unfortunately hasn't changed my mind about suicide. 28F. Good age. Did enough things. I'm ready just counting the days
 
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sunsetboat234

sunsetboat234

Over it all
Jun 13, 2023
60
The fear of dying alone
 
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F

Fox of June

Member
Jun 12, 2023
39
Definitely the fear of failure. Having attempted before and failed, I want to make sure that it is fatal this time as I really do not want to mess it up, become a burden on others having to care for me in some sort of vegetative state and utterly incapable of CTB again. The issue is acquiring the necessary components as I'd rather not do it violently and painfully.
 
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J

jemetire

oh well
Jun 11, 2023
154
Lack of resources, a little hope and SI…
 
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oh_no191

oh_no191

“Is it better to speak or to die?”
Jun 11, 2023
56
the fear of failing. I'm right there but I lose it. It'll make me feel like a bigger failure
 
ipomoeaalba

ipomoeaalba

✨🔪IM STRUGGLING TO KEEP MY EDGE🔪✨
Nov 12, 2022
12
my partner would be sad over it, i also live w my 82 yr old grandma and would really really hate for her to be the one who finds me
 
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SunnyDay_NoSunshine

SunnyDay_NoSunshine

Member
Jun 11, 2023
36
Definitely the fear of failure. Having attempted before and failed, I want to make sure that it is fatal this time as I really do not want to mess it up, become a burden on others having to care for me in some sort of vegetative state and utterly incapable of CTB again. The issue is acquiring the necessary components as I'd rather not do it violently and painfully.

what was you method that you failed in first attempt and what is your method now?
 
delusionalgirl

delusionalgirl

I have my ticket. Awaiting my journey
Jun 17, 2023
194
Finding a hotel
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,311
My Dad and fear.
 
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Parasitic

Parasitic

Tew
Jun 16, 2023
34
Fear of failure, still deciding on method, guilt that I owe money to those who raised me for it to be a waste of money and for the past 4 years lived by a rule of in a week I will ctb but if during any point of that week I get even the slightest bit no matter how small of positivity I reset the timer, not sure why I do this but it gives me peace knowing in a week I give myself permission to ctb. Also learnt to treasure whatever gives me that slight bit of positivity because I don't know if there will be another (an example would be a bird chirping or some sort of wildlife that gives that slight feeling of not everything is dreadful and lets try another week)
 
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Strawberry_Clouds

Strawberry_Clouds

( = ⩊ = )
Jun 17, 2023
45
For me it is family and slight amount of hope. After those two reasons is fear of failure (in-spite of reasonable research and preparation).

I do feel my direction towards ctb will only further over time and I just need to prepare towards it.

I have progressed enough towards a definite method (carbon monoxide), but I still have some hope left.

how about you?
I'm scared of going through with it, it's like ripping a bandaid off, you know?
 
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SunnyDay_NoSunshine

SunnyDay_NoSunshine

Member
Jun 11, 2023
36
My Dad and fear.

same here, my dad is a big reason for me. he will be devastated when already broken.
Fear of failure, still deciding on method, guilt that I owe money to those who raised me for it to be a waste of money and for the past 4 years lived by a rule of in a week I will ctb but if during any point of that week I get even the slightest bit no matter how small of positivity I reset the timer, not sure why I do this but it gives me peace knowing in a week I give myself permission to ctb. Also learnt to treasure whatever gives me that slight bit of positivity because I don't know if there will be another (an example would be a bird chirping or some sort of wildlife that gives that slight feeling of not everything is dreadful and lets try another week)

You remind me of myself ~10 years ago. You are trying in good spirit. I wish you all the best for things to progress towards the better.
 
Last edited:
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gomikasu

gomikasu

Member
Jun 2, 2023
35
I'm waiting for my birthday so my family can double dip on having one especially shit time rather than 2.
 
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