depressedpharma

depressedpharma

Lily
Feb 2, 2024
14
It's surprisingly hard to convince people you are okay when you are not. It honestly requires living your life exactly as you did before, kind of ironic that my people pleasing has literally ruined my last week. I went about most of the things i've outlined in other posts, however I still am going to work. Why? I don't know, I didn't think of a good enough excuse to the people around me for why I was not going. I have delayed my week once more. I have friends I need to make sure are okay in the end. I have preparations so that the celebration of life my mom will enevidably host is easy (photo collections into a neat folder, picture frames, outfit to be cremated in, etc). So many errands to run that I never thought I could possibly need to run. Honestly I am going to finish everything I need to this weekend, and then actually spend my last week right.

Interesting new experience of mine was sunday night I tried H for the first time. I have used oxy before (even with an intentional overdose on it in the past) but that experience was unlike anything I have ever had. I honestly hope it feels that way when I go. I hope that bliss fades into an endless eternity of contentment without pain.

I planned on running a Dungeons and Dragons one shot next months with some friends, if your friend had just killed themselves would you want to play the one shot they prepared, or would that be a burden for them?
 
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mortuarymary

mortuarymary

Enlightened
Jan 17, 2024
1,363
Never tried H. Did it make you sleepy?
 

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