Help People only talk to me when I'm necessary.

[supergip]

Earlier, I mentioned that it seems like no one genuinely cares about me, and that people only talk to me when it's necessary.

This happened again recently. Every Saturday, I invite my two friends to come over to my house, but one of them has developed a habit of either going out to smoke marijuana or arriving much later for the same reason. While she tells me that she loves me and that she doesn't want me to leave her life, her actions seem to contradict her words.

What do you think I should do or say in this situation?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Evidently, she likes her dope. Are you inviting her over for some specific serious reason, or just to hang? Maybe the dope smoking is just how she deals with the stress of the situation.

 

[BloomingStrella]

Try to confront them about it, that way they'll be forced to give some sort of an explanation. If you really are meaningful to them, they should have no problem explaining their situation. But be careful, since they might think you're suspicious of them and that could make things worse.

 

[supergip]

Evidently, she likes her dope. Are you inviting her over for some specific serious reason, or just to hang? Maybe the dope smoking is just how she deals with the stress of the situation.

We always meet on Saturdays, it's just our hobby.

However, despite knowing that I dislike it, she doesn't only smoke due to stress, but also for fun. The time I disliked it the most was the first time she did it. We were supposed to make dinner together, and I told her not to be late as it needed to be ready on time for personal and family reasons. However, she was four hours late, even though she had a watch and could see that the sun had set. Her excuse was that she didn't realize the time.

Try to confront them about it, that way they'll be forced to give some sort of an explanation. If you really are meaningful to them, they should have no problem explaining their situation. But be careful, since they might think you're suspicious of them and that could make things worse.

She doesn't smoke due to any problem, only for fun, in a country where it is illegal. I always tell her that it is a huge lack of respect. Imagine inviting someone to your house, and they simply leave to use drugs and come back later as if nothing had happened.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I cut over 30 "friends" out of my life over the last 2 years because of this exact issue. I'm now down to 4 solid friends that do just as much for me as I do for them, if not more. Best decision I ever made. I was carrying a backpack of useless weight for over 25 years. Finally put it down. They can all go fuck themselves for all I care. Givers have to limit what they're willing to give because takers will never limit what they're willing to take.

 

[SoftWorries]

I don't think your friend doesn't care I think that they have different properties than you do.

Your friend wants to smoke weed and doesn't care to be on time. As a Canadian lots of the people I know are just like this. It doesn't bother me because I'm like this too.

I'm sorry that you and your friend have vastly different priorities. You can't accept their lifestyle and that's understandable. I think just from the facts you've given that your friend does care about you.

 

[brokeandbroken]

If there's anything life has taught me the lesson of recently if you are friends or frankly family with someone and it's one sided. It's not friendship it's charity. Find friends that charity won't be there for you when you need it.