
pinstripe
Member
- Jul 31, 2025
- 46
I attempted to ctb using partial suspension recently. I mostly intended it as a rehearsal session, trying to desensitize my survival instinct but if it happened it happened. I was utterly amazed at how quickly it went. I used a belt with a shirt tucked around my neck with the shirt bunched up on either side of my esophagus to press more directly on the arteries. I had the other end of the belt closed over a bathroom door with 2 allan wrench keys through the grommetted belt holes for added support and bracing against the doorframe. I leaned down into it and let my partial weight go into the shirt. I only barely and vaguely felt a tinge of survival instinct... And then I was gone.
I started dreaming immediately. There was no sensation or realization that I passed out. Just an immediate departure. I think the only reason I ever woke up was how the sway of my body started my forehead against the doorframe. Some part of my brain clicked on and I realized I was hanging. The immediate horror of being alive kicked in and I screamed, hit my hand against the wall, and wrenched the belt off my neck. It was insanely frustrating to still be alive but it was fascinating and somewhat comforting to get so close to the finish line and not even know it. I had to sit down and recover for a second.
I don't know how long I was out but it was long enough to cause the capillaries in my left eye to burst and my face to become mottled like a full bruise for the next 2 days. It was honestly so very comforting after the fact though to know how quickly and easily it happens. And if I want to end it, I can just secure the part of the belt against the back of my neck a little better and face the other way so the swaying doesn't hit anything.
The dreaming was interesting. I imagine it's because of the trapped blood flow but the dreaming made me feel like I was just somewhere else and not suspended. It was like it immediately wiped away what I was doing from my consciousness. I couldn't begin to say what I was dreaming about, just that it had familiar trauma informed content. But I would have died and not even know it if I stayed that way and that's imo one of the best ways to go.
So yeah if you position it right, hanging works FAST. Like your survival instinct doesn't even really have a chance to do anything.
I started dreaming immediately. There was no sensation or realization that I passed out. Just an immediate departure. I think the only reason I ever woke up was how the sway of my body started my forehead against the doorframe. Some part of my brain clicked on and I realized I was hanging. The immediate horror of being alive kicked in and I screamed, hit my hand against the wall, and wrenched the belt off my neck. It was insanely frustrating to still be alive but it was fascinating and somewhat comforting to get so close to the finish line and not even know it. I had to sit down and recover for a second.
I don't know how long I was out but it was long enough to cause the capillaries in my left eye to burst and my face to become mottled like a full bruise for the next 2 days. It was honestly so very comforting after the fact though to know how quickly and easily it happens. And if I want to end it, I can just secure the part of the belt against the back of my neck a little better and face the other way so the swaying doesn't hit anything.
The dreaming was interesting. I imagine it's because of the trapped blood flow but the dreaming made me feel like I was just somewhere else and not suspended. It was like it immediately wiped away what I was doing from my consciousness. I couldn't begin to say what I was dreaming about, just that it had familiar trauma informed content. But I would have died and not even know it if I stayed that way and that's imo one of the best ways to go.
So yeah if you position it right, hanging works FAST. Like your survival instinct doesn't even really have a chance to do anything.
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