Overcome SI when jumping

[FadeToBlack1109]

Just so you know, I've already asked this question in another one of my threads, but since that one's a few weeks old already, I thought I'd try again this way

So, I found myself a nice cliff. 140m drop into the ocean. And with a stunning view at that. I'll probably do it tomorrow.

However, I'm very afraid that SI will get in the way. Does anyone know any tricks for this, specific to jumping? Obviously SI is a problem for any kind of ctb, but I feel like it should be a lot easier when jumping. Because once you've made that step, there's no way back. When hanging, you might still get out of the noose etc...

But I'm just gonna be real here and say that I might just be a damn coward. So how do I trick myself into taking that last step?

My best idea is, and hear me out, I know it's gonna look extremely stupid, but it's not like anyone's watching:

What if I just stand 2 meters away from the edge, close my eyes, spin around in a circle a few times so I lose my orientation, and then just walk straight with my eyes closed? I won't know if I'm walking towards the edge or away from it. So it's kinda russian roulette. If it turns out I walked the wrong way, I'll just start over.

That's the best I can come up with to trick myself. I've also heard the advice to count to 3 but jump on 2. But I don't really see this working tbh.

Any other ideas?

P.S: I literally just made myself laugh out loud by picturing some dude at a cliff, spinning around in circles to Dead Or Alive's "You Spin Me Right Round" and then jumping to his goddamn death Man that was the best laugh I've had in a LONG time, guys, please actually visualize this for yourselves!

 

[Freedomm]

I would hyperventilate, then get up and squeeze my carotid arteries. I would try to lean back a little so that when I lost consciousness, I would fall down myself. I don't know any other options. It's really very scary and very hard to do.

 

[moonlightbeach]

reposting my reply from a similar thread
if you're 100% sure about ctb and you know the spot and the time then i think your fear of being seen won't attribute much.
i've heard that people do not look over the edge, have a sprint start and then jump as far away as possible. could maybe think of it as some exercise or physical education class. also wandering around the area and thinking about ctb will probably prop the SI even more. there's also the option of scouting the place beforehand, just hanging around.

edit: i think if a person is spotted then they might just panic and slip because of the nerves OR they would just stay there without moving and be paralyzed because of the shock. don't know, but probably the latter happens more often

I'll probably do it tomorrow

if it's accessible and you can go there multiple times then it makes it harder for sure. my method is going to be super exclusive, one in a lifetime thing, so no amount of SI (that's nonexistent already tbh) will stop me.
also the counting to 3 and jumping on 2 is a solid advice as well

P.S: I literally just made myself laugh out loud by picturing some dude at a cliff, spinning around in circles to Dead Or Alive's "You Spin Me Right Round" and then jumping to his goddamn death Man that was the best laugh I've had in a LONG time, guys, please actually visualize this for yourselves!

 

[FadeToBlack1109]

Well, it's still a little hike there, about 60-70 minutes, so I'm definitely too lazy to go there beforehand just to chill. Which, I agree, is definitely gonna make the SI worse anyway. Once I'm there, I'll try and go straight to jumping.

I'm actually in a country some 2000 km away from home, tomorrow morning would be my flight back home. But I've decided to just not get on that plane. So after it departs without me, I am pretty much stranded here. I hope that the dread of being homeless in a foreign country with barely any money might help push me over the (quite literal) edge. It's also really cold here at night. All this should push my desperation through the roof and thus lessen the SI. In theory, at least...

Any more ideas?

 

[SoulWantsHome]

Hey, FadeToBlack1109. Are you still with us...?

I've been wondering about this stuff too - as jumping from a very tall height (at least 60+ meters height), is a sure way of committing suicide successfully (pretty much regardless of how you land/how you hit the ground).

However, the problems with this suicide-method, are:

1) The fear of actually taking the jump.
2) Being completely terrified during the entire fall.
3) Regretting having taken the jump, after (often immediately after) having taken the jump.
4) The corpse being completely destroyed/disfigured, which can be scary and traumatic for the people who find you; and won't allow for an open coffin at your funeral.
​

So, if anyone knows about any good methods for overcoming problems 1-3, I would be very interested in hearing them.

 

[FadeToBlack1109]

Hey, FadeToBlack1109. Are you still with us...?

I've been wondering about this stuff too - as jumping from a very tall height (at least 60+ meters height), is a sure way of committing suicide successfully (pretty much regardless of how you land/how you hit the ground).

However, the problems with this suicide-method, are:

1) The fear of actually taking the jump.
2) Being completely terrified during the entire fall.
3) Regretting having taken the jump, after (often immediately after) having taken the jump.
4) The corpse being completely destroyed/disfigured, which can be scary and traumatic for the people who find you; and won't allow for an open coffin at your funeral.
​

So, if anyone knows about any good methods for overcoming problems 1-3, I would be very interested in hearing them.

Still here, yeah.

1) Yup that's also the biggest problem I see right now

2) and 3) That's what everyone assumes might happen, but I'm actually not so sure. I think the mind could also go into an immediate shock and just not realize what's happening until it's too late. If you've ever been in a car crash, you'll know what I'm talking about; right after the collision, the brain goes "Whoa, that did NOT just happen! I must be dreaming!" and it takes a minute for the adrenalin to settle, until you actually realize what happened. I have felt this kind of "This isn't real!" on multiple occasions, whenever REALLY bad stuff happens. So I am hopeful that, while falling, I'll just be like "Nah, this isn't real anyway" and then splash and it's over.

If I'm wrong about this, well... sounds like a dreadful experience, that "view from halfway down", but it's not like you can change your mind mid-fall.

4) If the ocean doesn't carry me away, then yeah, it's unfortunately gonna be a gruesome sight I guess. But I find solace in that there's no way any tourists will find me, since the place is so remote. It's definitely gonna be police, who obviously won't like the sight either, but at least they're somewhat trained to seeing dead bodies here and there.

 

[SoulWantsHome]

Still here, yeah.

Okay :)

2) and 3) That's what everyone assumes might happen, but I'm actually not so sure. I think the mind could also go into an immediate shock and just not realize what's happening until it's too late. If you've ever been in a car crash, you'll know what I'm talking about; right after the collision, the brain goes "Whoa, that did NOT just happen! I must be dreaming!" and it takes a minute for the adrenalin to settle, until you actually realize what happened. I have felt this kind of "This isn't real!" on multiple occasions, whenever REALLY bad stuff happens. So I am hopeful that, while falling, I'll just be like "Nah, this isn't real anyway" and then splash and it's over.

Yeah, I get what you mean.

If you've ever been in a car crash, you'll know what I'm talking about; right after the collision, the brain goes "Whoa, that did NOT just happen! I must be dreaming!" and it takes a minute for the adrenalin to settle, until you actually realize what happened.

Yeah, I've been in 2 relatively big car-crashes (as well as 4 very small car-crashes), so I know exactly what you're talking about. It feels incredibly surreal in that moment, and it's difficult to fully comprehend/acknowledge/accept what just happened - even though you intellectually know that you were in a car-crash. The shock simply overwhelms/mentally paralyzes you a bit, for a little while.

I have felt this kind of "This isn't real!" on multiple occasions, whenever REALLY bad stuff happens.

Yeah, me too.

So I am hopeful that, while falling, I'll just be like "Nah, this isn't real anyway" and then splash and it's over.

Hopefully, you are right about that. But I seriously doubt it - as I strongly suspect the physical sensation of free-falling at high speed through the air, simply hijacks your attention to such a degree that whatever shock/surrealness you're feeling, isn't powerful enough to stop you from being completely terrified while falling.

The best solution to reduce this instinctive fear of free-falling at high speed through the air, would probably be to jump in a parachute, or to do bungee-jumping, so that you thereby get a bit used to the physical sensation of free-falling - which thereby hopefully makes you less afraid of it, the next time you experience it (such as when you're jumping to commit suicide).

If I'm wrong about this, well... sounds like a dreadful experience, that "view from halfway down", but it's not like you can change your mind mid-fall.

Exactly. Hence my issues with using jumping as a suicide-method.

Jumping is the most basic, foolproof and easily accessible suicide-method that exists (as long as one is jumping from a sufficient height, of course). But unfortunately, it's also 1 of the most terrifying suicide-methods to use...

4) If the ocean doesn't carry me away, then yeah, it's unfortunately gonna be a gruesome sight I guess. But I find solace in that there's no way any tourists will find me, since the place is so remote. It's definitely gonna be police, who obviously won't like the sight either, but at least they're somewhat trained to seeing dead bodies here and there.

I see.

Besides, problem #4 is more relevant for suicide-jumps that land on the ground, as opposed to suicide-jumps that land in the water. So I was mainly referring to suicide-jumps that land on the ground, regarding problem #4.

 

[kopebaldy]

Have you considered just chugging a whole bottle of vodka when you're at the edge?

Unless you're Russian, you'll either black out drunk and fall off the cliff or die from alcohol poisoning.

 

[FadeToBlack1109]

Have you considered just chugging a whole bottle of vodka when you're at the edge?

Unless you're Russian, you'll either black out drunk and fall off the cliff or die from alcohol poisoning.

Definitely a good idea in theory, but forcing myself to chug a whole bottle of vodka is probably harder to do than the jumping part haha

Plus, our muscles tend to relax a lot when drunk which could actually increase the survival chance of the impact. If the body stiffens up, it breaks more easily. This is also why drunk drivers often survive a crash while their victims don't.

Maybe a few beers to take the edge of might work though.

 

[knickknack81]

Overcoming SI is such a difficult thing because everyone reacts different to this situation. Some people are able to go through with no problem, others completely panic and freeze up. And everything in between. For many of us, we truly won't know how we will react until we actually get there. And what we don't know what will calm one down to get through it. It could be breathing, tricking yr mind to take yr mind off of it, it could be alcohol/pills (although just a Warning, that could make things worse). Whatever it is, everyone has to figure that out from themselves because our body and mind are all very different. Sorry if that sounds new age-y but it's the best way I could word it.

Best of luck! :)

 

[FadeToBlack1109]

Well, there's good news and there's bad news and I'm not sure which one's which.

But this was one CRAZY day.

I was at the cliff today. Damn, the view was stunning. I don't wanna tell the exact spot cause I plan on making it look like an accident, since I feel like a suicide headline might negatively affect a country that has been nothing but welcoming to me this past week, BUT it's easily one of the most beautiful places on earth.

So anyways, I was standing right at the edge and I am now 100% sure I can do it. It even looked kinda... inviting? Like the ocean was saying "It's alright now, come here, child." Didn't even feel like I was there to ctb, but rather to take a really deep dive. So I'm definitely not afraid of SI anymore.

Buuuut, as you might've guessed, I'm not writing this from the afterlife (they probably wouldn't grant me Wi-Fi privilege anyway), so yeah, I didn't jump and I'm not sure I even intended to when I woke up this morning.

I just have this thing where I have the most extreme, well, mood swings I guess? I mean, it's not like I'm suddenly happy or anything, I still don't see a way out other than ctb, but like... sometimes, I'm MCR-sad and the next day I'm DSBM-sad. And today was more of an MCR-sad day. So yeah, as soon as I woke up this morning, I instantly knew I wasn't gonna die today. Even though the general plan to do so still remains.

As for the "homeless in a foreign country" part that I forced myself into to max out my desperation: I spent the night in a literal bus. I got into some small talk with the bus driver, but obviously didn't want him to get suspicious, so I just said my flight home was cancelled and now I'm stranded, all AirBnBs booked out, planned to sleep on some airport bench, yada yada. And without thinking twice, he offered me to sleep in the god damn bus. And I did. I made myself comfortable on the back seat row and just as I was about to doze off, a car pulls up. I was in a closed off parking space for busses only, so my initial reaction was "Yup, I'm busted, bus driver musta known I was full of shit", but no, the guy pulled up in his private car and brought me some blankets, a pillow and a GOD DAMN HOT DOG.

All this is actually extremely inspirational, if you think about it. Some countries like the UK wanna fight suicides by mass surveillance, banning meds, patrolling famous spots... and then there's the place where I'm at, that postponed my ctb through a nice view and an extremely kind bus driver. Man, I feel like I should turn this whole experience into an open letter to a few governments, show em how it's done, maybe pull some sticks from some bums.

What a day.

I'm not here to stay guys, none of this has changed my mind. But it most definitely changed some of my views.

What a crazy, crazy day.

 

[r.m.216]

Benzo alcohol falling back first

Law enforcement will try to save you. If you make a sudden move they may do your work for you