Venting Online or offline, I'm always alone. Seems like it.

[Sat]

Since I have no friends or have been close with my family and relatives, I resorted on using discord as a way to cope and talk. However, my inner me couldn't stop venting it actually made a few communities mad. The latest one where I thought I could be welcome as I'm as weird as I could be, just banned me. Not that it's supposed to hurt me but it felt like I was meant to be alone in all situations. No matter how hurt I am.

I feel like doing bad things with myself as I'm writing this but I'm sure I won't. After all, I'm a scaredy cat inside. A cunt if you will. If I could only put myself together, perhaps it'd be great except I can't. I feel like I can't stand up anymore.


"Coping on the server is not healthy, learn to live, socialize and.." idk, I forgot what was written before I was muted for a week and banned right after. But how am I supposed to do so if I have nothing to start with.

I think I might actually be a worthless person as I resorted to use mainly, online.

 

[BobSmoked]

Not that my two cents makes much odds but I willing to bet you are selling yourself short I know I always do tbh wishing you the best.

 

[lawlietsph]

I relate to this so much - but I know it doesn't help you. I wish I could help you.
I am the same. No friends, never had any friends, I mean sometimes I thought that I had, but they were just temporarily using me.
Online is the same too, it seems like everyone is making friends so easily, meanwhile I say a word in any chat and it goes silent. People are not responding, or they are kind for a couple of days, but then leave you like it's the easiest thing to do.
I am sorry, I wish I could help you. It doesn't make you feel any better :(

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I resonate. Sometimes I think online life has kept me longer than I should have. I have no friends or partners. The real is dangerous so online communities are what give me my life. The Internet is my life.

 

[Lulu Sun]

I feel the same, can't find a friend to talk about the dark side of my life

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm alone all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It sucks. Makes no difference if online or irl. What you mean you "feel like doing bad things" to yourself?

 

[SoulWhisperer]

My depression and being broken has also caused me quite the trouble online, which made me feel even worse because I have nothing else. It's an endless cycle of seeking and hurting. I'm sorry.