One thing you need to not CTB?

[cambrai33]

I want to feel like the old me again, I don't remember how it feels anymore but I know I was happy and seized the day in the most part.

 

[lonerclown666]

money maybe but at the same time i will get bored and want to return to ctb

 

[hlynn95]

To find love and not feel so alone anymore. I'm always jealous of the happy couples on social media, wishing that can be me someday, but I haven't been successful with a relationship in over 4 years . . . ):

 

[VKVK]

Love and care from family and maybe some specific people I could trust and/or have a romance with.

Never happening. Fairy tale wish. No one ever gives, gave or will give a shit. It's been like this forever, I'm the only one who knows how it feels to hit rock bottom and feel suicidal and miserable. Others don't, so they always act way more evil than I can imagine. No one cares about anyone and I want to die because I never had any help and can't handle it. Or anything anymore.

Okay, so let's take this one step further, what do you need exactly for things to be like they were then

The blissfulness, ignorance and illusion that people care in the least about my well-being, that I can handle work/study stress without eventually breaking mentally, that I have the mental capacity of building something for myself in a career or anything that matters, that my (ex)partner respects me and loves me as a person and definitely wants a future with me, that my family respects, loves and gives enough two shits about me not to lie about and hide our financial situation until everything falls apart and puts me through hell for selfishness and being irresponsible, that the world and my life isn't and wasn't always that bad.

How do I do it?

 

[Interloper]

A brain aneurysm or a heart attack.

 

[Ectaxy]

¿Qué tendría que cambiar o suceder en tu vida para sentirte mejor y querer vivir?

nothing, not even my mother loves me, I only bring problems and I am a burden for everyone

 

[sadnurse]

My health and cognitive function back; to have the old me back

 

[AMorteVivente]

Enough money to live with comfort permanently. I would still want to ctb, but I wouldn't do it because I would keep myself occupied in random nonsense. It's kind of what I have been doing so far to a very low level (in comparison). My problems started with money, and once 'money' runs out I will be homeless and ctb will follow soon after.

 

[Party__3nd5]

Life instinct and party

 

[sanguineblade]

The old me, the old me who had his health
Who didnt have destroyed ears, snow vision, tinnitus, hyperacusis, whole right side burning 24/7, cut penile nerve, severe back pains
I just want my health :(
aint happening

 

[Itsbeenalongtime]

To be a billionaire, if I could live in a nice home doing the things I wanted when I wanted with 0 financial stress I think I would be happy

 

[demuic]

I would have to wake up in an alternate universe where justice and fairness exists, there are rational sentient creatures that are not evil, and everyone always get their happy ending.

 

[HappyPotato]

a new personality

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Another life lol! But for that too I have to ctb. There is absolutely nothing practical for me in this life to not do this. Enough traumas,health issues,mental brake downs have happened.

 

[catdaddy2601]

Nothing ... I'm too damaged and broken at this point ... Literally just plodding along day by day still managing to fuck up constantly... Hopefully I find the courage to ctb before the end of the year, I turn 33 in January and I really want to go before then...

 

[stellabelle]

What would need to change or happen in your life in order to feel better and want to live?

Nothing.
It will not change or improve.
It never has and it never will.

 

[cambrai33]

Finding a stray cat or dog

 

[tagicoco]

Some sort of reset, an ability to connect with others again and see life clearly. It feels like when you've been dragging yourself through life to only just survive for years that I'm left overwhelmed with bitterness and apathy. I want to enjoy things again. I want to feel enthusiasm for the sake of it. I want to not think of suicide or recovery and live without the heaviness.
I don't know if that's realistic. I'm hoping mushrooms, or some kind of life change can do that for me.

 

[NMOP3PISdn]

Okay, so let's take this one step further, what do you need exactly for things to be like they were then

I was engaged and was suppose to get married August of this year. I agreed to rent a house and have her family live with us. My friends and family told me it was a bad idea. Long story short I hated living with her brothers because they are so dirty and irresponsible people. Never picked up after themselves which stressed me out and because of the stress I started getting depressed which put a strain on my relationship with my fiance. Because of that she decided to call off the wedding. If I could go back to just living at my own place and not having to live with her family I would. I should have listen to people's advice and I should've listened to my gut. I knew it was a bad idea but I still did it anyway. Worst part is my ex couldn't understand why I was depressed even though i tried explaining it so many times. At one point I felt alone in my own house.

 

[meetapple]

I would need to have people let me go about my tasks without hassling or bothering me.

 

[Need2Escape]

To be united with my wife and my estranged son

 

[Laowaiboss]

Stability! I'm on disability handouts (schizophrenia), but always under the threat of losing my rights to it if I don't do what the government (as in their health department representatives) tells me to do. Go there, do this, do that, take your meds, etc... it's for your own good! I have SN and the day they cut off my handouts for whatever reason with no recourse is the day I drink it. I can't work, I have tried and always end up in conflict with my coworkers, can't follow simple tasks, so I'd have no other way of sustaining myself, well selling drugs maybe.

 

[ngmi]

Rewind time by 6 months, back to when the love of my life was still mine and I still had a chance to fix everything.

 

[supermario]

What would need to change or happen in your life in order to feel better and want to live?

Erasure of the last 3 months of my memory

 

[LONE WOLF.]

My late wife back! And a healthy lottery win.

 

[Ryscatto]

Supportive friends. If I had people who genuinely enjoyed my company and didn't ditch me when my autism became apparent to them, that would be enough to make me wanna stay. But that will never happen.

 

[Cherry xoxo]

Nothing would make me want to continue to live. Comming to this point is about more than just a single factor and even if a single factor changes it won't change me or my mind.

 

[steviewonder]

What would need to change or happen in your life in order to feel better and want to live?

Get rid of my insomnia. I had depression and anxiety before, but after I developed my insomnia all that felt like an easy life

 

[Dot]

Santy.

 

[youraffection]

Money or time.