Venting Older members, does it really get better?

[ukket]

it doesn't, i am at the end of trying to fit in, be what is expected and live a life i don't want to. Getting older doesn't fix anything, for me it had made it worse, so i am going to leave as soon as my N turns up!

 

[Hercules]

it doesn't, i am at the end of trying to fit in, be what is expected and live a life i don't want to. Getting older doesn't fix anything, for me it had made it worse, so i am going to leave as soon as my N turns up!

What N? There are no known reliable suppliers of N right now.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

It depends on the individual and if they choose to invest in themselves. The chances of people on here having been traumatized and going thru life with a flawed worldview is high. We are even more in the dark as young oftentimes. Often not learning important lessons till we are too old and can't change our life that dramatically. If u are really struggling with mental health issues, and u want to recover, u will need to start maybe going to the library if u have access to one and reading extensively about how to fix your life at least to the degree of what is in your control. Read about child abuse, read about what it takes to heal, read about everything u are not dealing with that is a problem in your life. Watch tons of self help or informational videos on YouTube about what ever the situation u need to tackle. Don't try to get involved in a romantic relationship wen young if u have not dealt with your childhood if u suspect it is effecting u currently. U absolutely need to correct your flawed ideas about the opposite sex, sex differences and what that means for u depending on which sex u are u will have different needs, life, or expectations. Lots of reading and lots of informational videos are necessary to correct your distorted thoughts and ideas that were wrongfully put on u by others or Hollywood and other media u might be consuming. This is my best advice for young pple to not screw yourself. Take at least a couple of years and solely work on yourself this way. It might then be better for u as u get older. Don't let the current state of the world get u down, but do search for what u can do to better your circumstances despite our current societal system which sucks and is coming apart at the seams.

 

[Unattainable666]

Hey, older members, genuine question: Does it ever really get better? I'm relatively young, but I've been suicidal since I've been aware of my own existence. There's good and bad in life, sure, but there's so much more bad and so little good. Even if there was more good than bad, I'm tired of both of them. Does it ever get easier? I'm just out of the hospital, and all I can think about, even after being drugged out of my mind, is how badly I wish I had not been found and had not failed. All I can think about is the cold steel of a gun barrel in my mouth. So, does it get better? Honestly? It hasn't yet, and I'm so tired. I'm tired of fighting to do everything every day. I'm tired of this existence. I'm tired of being. Will it ever go away? Sorry for the ramble, I just need these answers. Everyone in life loves to say it does, because they don't want to discourage you. They're never honest about it though, because when they are, the answer is no.

I'm in my 60s and have been suicidal since I was 7 or 8 - it doesn't get better. I wish when I tried (at 15) it had worked.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think some things got better for me. I was a painfully shy child. I used to feel mortified when people bullied me. I think perhaps I care a bit less now- I'm maybe more comfortable in my own skin. But then- I try to avoid people too!

Still- 'adulting' is shit. Having responsibilities and obligations is shit. Feeling like a failure isn't fun either and the longer you're here without suceeding- the more you've failed to do.

Still- I suppose you can also live long enough to feel like you can see through all that facade. Like- it wouldn't actually matter if you had all the stuff that was 'supposed' to make you happy. I suppose the longer you live- maybe the more you get to know yourself. Perhaps that's a bad thing though. Especially if you're stubborn. Kind of like- I know part of my 'problem' is I pretty much refuse to change and excessively challenge myself now.

I suppose I think things will only 'get better' if you want them to though- regardless of age. I think we have to make change happen ourselves most of the time. It just depends on how much effort you're willing to put in and how resilient you are when you don't always get rewarded. I guess that willingness depends on whether you think the end prize is worth it. I think maybe as you age, you get more cynical that it isn't worth it!

 

[Disappointered]

Short of anomalies...no, it doesn't get better. And in some (most?) cases it gets worse.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Whether things can get better or are getting better is an indivdual question that can only be answered by the individual itself. For me personally the situation can only get better when certain circumstances are met (currently very unlikely), based on that a base is formed and other things (like therapy) could help stabilizing and improving my situation.

 

[yyytry]

Bumping this thread so that others may glean the nuggets in here..

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I can only speak for myself and from my experiences and perspective. But this is my honest answer.

I'm 52 now. When I was 26, I had my life savings (the equivalent of about US$78k in inflation adjusted dollars) stolen from me by government agents. Never arrested, never charged, never convicted of anything. In the USA, they have "asset forfeiture" laws that allow this to happen to the tune of US$505 BILLION dollars in 2019 alone. Good luck winning in court, as the odds are stacked against you (you can't beat the gov't in the gov't's court) and also because as most lawyers won't even take the case because it is not worth their time effort, unless the sums involved are huge (in the hundreds of thousands of dollars+). But even if you win, you still lose because a large chunk of your $ will be taken in lawyer fees (expect 70-100%, perhaps more, and you may end up owing them money!) Then, just 4 months later, my sweet little dog was hit and killed by a car and between those 2 events, I wanted to end it all. But I held on to hope. I thought I'm going through a terrible time right now, but "it will get better". It's only money, I can make more, and my dog wasn't going to live forever anyway.


As the years went by, my biggest regret is that I didn't cbt 26 years ago.

I ask myself:
*Am I any happier today than I was 26 years ago? Answer: no!
*Am I any healthier now than 26 years ago? No.
*Am I any younger now than I was 26 years ago? Of course not.
*Am I any richer now than 26 years ago? No.
*Am I (or the world) more free now than 26 years ago? No.
*Are any of my loved ones any better off now than 26 years ago? No.

I can ask myself these same questions from a future perspective:

Will I be any happier/healthier/younger/richer/freer/and my loved ones be better off 26 years from now (in the year 2047) when I reach the age of 78?

Again, the most likely and obvious answer will still be no.

Take from this what you will.

This was fascinating to read. It does provide perspective honestly because it's definitely one of the things I've been asking myself a lot. Will I be any happier/ healthier or love life in any form in 30 years when I'm 54. There's also the thought of if I don't CTB within the next year, will I regret it as well.

 

[Defenestration]

Im 36 and i think ctb since 2004

 

[IndyAna]

I'm not that old per se (I'll be 24 in a few months), but I've been suicidal since I was a child and had my first attempt almost 10 years ago. it only got worse. I can't imagine living to see my life go even more downhill.