Not your typical goodbye thread

[Boochky]

Hi,

I just wanted to say thank you to this community for helping me figure out that I don't want to die.

I'm running out of money and I felt backed into a corner.

But I don't hate myself or life like many people here unfortunately do.

Having my SN is a comfort. But whenever I set a date, I'd get scared.

I love all of you. Thank you for talking. Wishing you the best peace possible.

Mods, please don't ban me. I'd like to keep loving people here.

With gratitude,
Boochky

 

[Lethe]

I'm glad that you decided to live. Wishing you all the best.

 

[jacob6767]

Happy for you <3
Good luck on all your future endeavors.

 

[White_Room293]

Hi,

I just wanted to say thank you to this community for helping me figure out that I don't want to die.

I'm running out of money and I felt backed into a corner.

But I don't hate myself or life like many people here unfortunately do.

Having my SN is a comfort. But whenever I set a date, I'd get scared.

I love all of you. Thank you for talking. Wishing you the best peace possible.

With gratitude,
Boochky

You know what's odd and makes me think I'm borderline or something? I really don't hate myself either or at least don't think I do. I just feel like I need to die to avoid the fucking frustration of life and my past failures and worry of my future fuck ups. If that means I hate myself then sure but I don't sulk or look in the mirror in disgust. In fact, I look in the mirror and admire and stare at myself for like an hour sometime. Perhaps I am just a giant self centered asshole. I mean I hear that quite often and I don't really care because I love it either way.

 

[less than]

I wish you all the best for your further life. Glad to hear that this community was helpful in this manner. If you have a new needing to talk feel free to come back. You're always welcome.

 

[Numbtopain97]

wish you all the best

 

[Blackjack]

All the best to you. And I hope the Shawn's Law contingent reads your post.

 

[Boochky]

All the best to you. And I hope the Shawn's Law contingent reads your post.

I didn't even think about that. They can interview me!

 

[LonelyLight]

Very best of luck to you!!

 

[BPD_LE]

That's fantastic news. Best of luck to you. I hope you achieve everything you ever dreamed of ❤

 

[puppy9]

Good luck in your future endeavors. You are my hero.

 

[okaoki]

i wish you all the luck

 

[woxihuanni]

That's some good news today! Wish you the best of luck.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Good for you!

 

[Stan]

Really happy for you @Boochky

 

[Boochky]

Thanks, all!

I wanted to extend an offer. I'm on disability with nothing to do. I see so many people who are lonely and need love. I have too much love to give so if you want to talk, I'd be honored to love you. Please PM me.

 

[Rachel74]

Not many threads I love on here but I do with this one. You come to a very dark place on SS and you come out of it either via death or a feeling that actually death isn't on the horizon anytime soon.
I came here desperate and I'm now not but feel part of an amazing community.
Bless you all

 

[Boochky]

Not many threads I love on here but I do with this one. You come to a very dark place on SS and you come out of it either via death or a feeling that actually death isn't on the horizon anytime soon.
I came here desperate and I'm now not but feel part of an amazing community.
Bless you all

Thanks @Rachel74

It was very dark and scary. I'm so grateful to everyone for helping me navigate out.

 

[Rachel74]

Thanks @Rachel74

It was very dark and scary. I'm so grateful to everyone for helping me navigate out.

I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.

 

[bpd_notme]

You know what's odd and makes me think I'm borderline or something? I really don't hate myself either or at least don't think I do. I just feel like I need to die to avoid the fucking frustration of life and my past failures and worry of my future fuck ups. If that means I hate myself then sure but I don't sulk or look in the mirror in disgust. In fact, I look in the mirror and admire and stare at myself for like an hour sometime. Perhaps I am just a giant self centered asshole. I mean I hear that quite often and I don't really care because I love it either way.

What does this have to do with borderline? Don't most people with borderline hate themselves? Also borderline has a 10% completion rate of suicide. Different statistics say dif things for schizophrenia and bipolar, but one study estimated the completion rate for BOTH was 5%. Regardless which study is correct for bipolar suicide rates, that just gives an idea of how high a 10% completion rate of suicide is.

 

[White_Room293]

What does this have to do with borderline? Don't most people with borderline hate themselves? Also borderline has a 10% completion rate of suicide. Different statistics say dif things for schizophrenia and bipolar, but one study estimated the completion rate for BOTH was 5%. Regardless which study is correct for bipolar suicide rates, that just gives an idea of how high a 10% completion rate of suicide is.

My psychiatrist said it is a possibility and I have anxiety so I overthink everything. It's probably just the rapid cycling.

 

[Boochky]

I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.

Yes

I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.

It is great therapy! I felt frustrated because I have the heart to help, but I'm very sick with bipolar and can't. Helping here is something I can do.

 

[Lefty]

All the best for you.

 

[alexithymia]

Very, very happy for you. I wish you all the best in life.

 

[bpd_notme]

My psychiatrist said it is a possibility and I have anxiety so I overthink everything. It's probably just the rapid cycling.

It just didn't seem at all related to bpd is all. That sucks about the rapid cycling.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

Wow, that's so great, OP!!! Lots of love to you

 

[EmptySteph62]

Wishing you the best friend, I'm so glad to hear that you've decided to live <3

 

[Boochky]

Thanks so much for all the love! Please know that its not unrequited. I truly love every one of you and wish the best for you!

 

[Sweet emotion]

That's amazing news. It's nice to hear. I wish you the best of luck in your future.

 

[Boochky]

That's amazing news. It's nice to hear. I wish you the best of luck in your future.

Why thank you! I truly wish I could take your pain away I'm so sorry you're suffering.