I wouldn't have ever imagined that one day I would have made a thread like this. Although I'm leaving SaSu (not for ctb) I'm still posting this on this section of this site for the reason that will follow. Before telling you about my story I want to say a few words about this community.
Honestly I think, that like the most of you, I was brought on this website by my curiosity for painless methods. When I first came across this platform, I was skeptical since my first thought was "A platform that talks about suicide? This isn't right", then I started to read some news about this website and I became even more narrow minded. But during that time, my mental health continued to get worse and therefore one day I just said "Why not? I might just make an account to see how this forum really works" and so I created my account almost a year ago.
From the day I started to make posts, threads and messages on gen-chat I was met with understanding and people that tried to cheer me up even if their problems were worse than mine. Nobody here told me to kill myself or just go for it but here everyone I met tried to talk with me, understand me, and help me in any way they could. I had many fun talks with many people here and I was able to make many friends to which I had deep conversaitons about me and my life. About the moderators, they were always there for me too. Rain and other mods always replied to my private messages and were always active in chat to talk.
However, now I have to quit this website since I'm at one of my lowest points ever and I know that if I stay here, I will end up buying SN again and this time I won't fail again (I failed 1.5 times. I say 1.5 since 1 was a serious attempt and the .5 I almost ended myself by accident with SN (I will leave a link about it at the end of the thread)). Moreover, this week I'm gonna tell my best friend about my attempts and consequently, about SaSu. I trust her with my life but just to be sure, I will change name and delete my account and ask the mods to delete a couple of threads that are too specific of me.
I won't write down my story again but the whole point is that the girl that I love (who is the reason that brought me here) is now dating a guy that tried to assault multiple girls. You can't even imagine how this is making me feel right now. So I just hope that karma will help me and I need to cut ties with all the things that give me even a single bit of negativity, especially now that I'm at my lowest.
So with this thread I just wanted to thank every single one of you, this community and the mod team.
My special thanks go also to the people that I consider my friends here:
@alexithymia (JJ) @Al_stargate @Ameya @ApparentlyNot @Asingletwig @bluedream @bythefire12 @Crows @dimstar @Dizzylady80 @Donk @fwompie @InterruptedGirl @jonghyun @LadyAlastor @mint @Oblivion @Red_sleep @rei71 @sleep4eternity @todiefor @unnecessary @waRmblanket @Water-Lily @Yuina @HD72 @QueerMelancholy @RainAndSadness @Dot @Bed @Goku Black @PeaceWanted .
I hope I remembered everyone but in the case I forgot someone, just tell them, in the end everyone knows everyone here :). This thread will be posted this friday night and after a couple of days I will delete my account and change my name. If you are tagged in this thread and don't recognize me someone will tell you who I was. Thank you for everything I just hope I will have a future with that girl and that my life improves and I hope that everyone here will be able to have a bright and happy future too.
My experience with SN (as I said before): https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/there-is-a-thing-you-need-to-know-about-sn.152640/ .
For the last time,
Goodbye and good night everyone.
Honestly I think, that like the most of you, I was brought on this website by my curiosity for painless methods. When I first came across this platform, I was skeptical since my first thought was "A platform that talks about suicide? This isn't right", then I started to read some news about this website and I became even more narrow minded. But during that time, my mental health continued to get worse and therefore one day I just said "Why not? I might just make an account to see how this forum really works" and so I created my account almost a year ago.
From the day I started to make posts, threads and messages on gen-chat I was met with understanding and people that tried to cheer me up even if their problems were worse than mine. Nobody here told me to kill myself or just go for it but here everyone I met tried to talk with me, understand me, and help me in any way they could. I had many fun talks with many people here and I was able to make many friends to which I had deep conversaitons about me and my life. About the moderators, they were always there for me too. Rain and other mods always replied to my private messages and were always active in chat to talk.
However, now I have to quit this website since I'm at one of my lowest points ever and I know that if I stay here, I will end up buying SN again and this time I won't fail again (I failed 1.5 times. I say 1.5 since 1 was a serious attempt and the .5 I almost ended myself by accident with SN (I will leave a link about it at the end of the thread)). Moreover, this week I'm gonna tell my best friend about my attempts and consequently, about SaSu. I trust her with my life but just to be sure, I will change name and delete my account and ask the mods to delete a couple of threads that are too specific of me.
I won't write down my story again but the whole point is that the girl that I love (who is the reason that brought me here) is now dating a guy that tried to assault multiple girls. You can't even imagine how this is making me feel right now. So I just hope that karma will help me and I need to cut ties with all the things that give me even a single bit of negativity, especially now that I'm at my lowest.
So with this thread I just wanted to thank every single one of you, this community and the mod team.
My special thanks go also to the people that I consider my friends here:
@alexithymia (JJ) @Al_stargate @Ameya @ApparentlyNot @Asingletwig @bluedream @bythefire12 @Crows @dimstar @Dizzylady80 @Donk @fwompie @InterruptedGirl @jonghyun @LadyAlastor @mint @Oblivion @Red_sleep @rei71 @sleep4eternity @todiefor @unnecessary @waRmblanket @Water-Lily @Yuina @HD72 @QueerMelancholy @RainAndSadness @Dot @Bed @Goku Black @PeaceWanted .
I hope I remembered everyone but in the case I forgot someone, just tell them, in the end everyone knows everyone here :). This thread will be posted this friday night and after a couple of days I will delete my account and change my name. If you are tagged in this thread and don't recognize me someone will tell you who I was. Thank you for everything I just hope I will have a future with that girl and that my life improves and I hope that everyone here will be able to have a bright and happy future too.
My experience with SN (as I said before): https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/there-is-a-thing-you-need-to-know-about-sn.152640/ .
For the last time,
Goodbye and good night everyone.
