Venting Making friends on Sasu

[JEDM]

I saw a post once about someone asking if it was good or bad to make friends on sasu.
Honestly it's heartbreaking. I met two people here who I liked very much. One ghosted me in the end but I'm pretty sure she's dead, I think the other just committed suicide by SN. For your own good just use this forum to get info otherwise you might end up in a fucked up situation like me

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Honestly if they're at peace I'm glad for them.. I can imagine it's horrible to lose someone uu care for, it's only natural, especially in a place like this.. A collective of souls that visit your life and leave the next

 

[day]

i've experienced tons of loss on this platform but it doesn't stop me from developing friendships. i've met some of the most caring and amazing individuals here. i fully understand where we are and the circumstances of most users here when it comes to the fact they could be gone and it doesn't feel great. however it won't stop me from letting someone in. especially cause in hard times like they could be in maybe they need a friend, maybe a genuine support system can make them change their mind and if not maybe it keeps them here a little while longer and in that time they get the comfort of being understood and respected.

sorry for the rambling. i just think everyone is deserving of companionship. it's hard when they go but i'll cherish our moments in conversation while i have em' here.

 

[peacebenow]

I have lost some close friends that I have made on here with no goodbyes. I have had to make peace with the losses. In life outside this forum one does not announce when they leave and pass away so I also see if that way. And also, it is hard to become close with someone and then leave them which can cause different things for different people. It hurts but perspective helps.

 

[JEDM]

Yes, I truly hope they're at peace too. But I'm so pissed shitty people get to live and they have to die. Why them? One of my friends was raped by her brother. I wish he would burn alive. Why does he have to live have a family and she dies

 

[TraurigerClown]

I ish i could get some friends...idc if one will go and find peace. i mean isnt that why most of us are here

 

[JEDM]

Sorry, I'm just a bit emotional I'm in a psych ward right now and my mom tried to CTB with my SN because I told her I wanted to go and how I wanted to go. And she wanted to die before I did. Thankfully she's still alive though. But she's still in the hospital

 

[peacebenow]

Sorry, I'm just a bit emotional I'm in a psych ward right now and my mom tried to CTB with my SN because I told her I wanted to go and how I wanted to go. And she wanted to die before I did. Thankfully she's still alive though. But she's still in the hospital

That all sounds so upsetting and hard to handle. I'm so sorry. I'm glad your mom is alive in the hospital.

 

[JEDM]

Thanks. It is hard but I mean life's hard for everyone here right? Otherwise we wouldn't be here in the first place

 

[peacebenow]

Thanks. It is hard but I mean life's hard for everyone here right? Otherwise we wouldn't be here in the first place

Yes but that is still extremely sad and hard to be experiencing for you and can be acknowledged.

 

[tonicer]

Don't give up on making friends because maybe you being friends with someone stops them from killing themselves and maybe they can actually recover enough to get rid of their suicidal thoughts.

We all need anchors to survive, for normal people it's being alive but for people like us who are broken in some way we need something stronger like me for example, i have my mother who was always good and fair to me so i can't hurt her by committing suicide while she is still alive so i postponed my suicide indefinitely until she dies of old age. She turns 80 next year and i hope she has 10-15 more years to go. I can't live without her. I have no friends or anyone else to talk to about important things.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I get anxious when I get an orange new DM icon. I know really dumb. But no one wants a friend that gets anxious even opening their reply.

 

[JEDM]

Don't give up on making friends because maybe you being friends with someone stops them from killing themselves and maybe they can actually recover enough to get rid of their suicidal thoughts.

We all need anchors to survive, for normal people it's being alive but for people like us who are broken in some way we need something stronger like me for example, i have my mother who was always good and fair to me so i can't hurt her by committing suicide while she is still alive so i postponed my suicide indefinitely until she dies of old age. She turns 80 next year and i hope she has 10-15 more years to go. I can't live without her. I have no friends or anyone else to talk to about important things.

You have a kind heart. Before I didn't give a shit about my parents feeling if I CTb, I just thought she would move on be sad but continue her life. Now knowing she's ready to kill herself over me. I can't do it anymore.
I am sorry you don't have friends to talk too that sounds lonely

I get anxious when I get an orange new DM icon. I know really dumb. But no one wants a friend that gets anxious even opening their reply.

Why do you get anxious?

 

[alwayspissedoff]

tbf, I met my best friend by far here, as well as other friends. the fact that we have in common that we are suicidal, is what makes the friendship work imo. with irl people, I wouldn't tell them I was suicidal, not even to my closest friend I had done that, while here they know it from the start, which makes it easier to tell them basically everything, and them to me.

you just gotta deal with the fact that many people here are already settled on ctb, which you cannot change.

 

[JEDM]

tbf, I met my best friend by far here, as well as other friends. the fact that we have in common that we are suicidal, is what makes the friendship work imo. with irl people, I wouldn't tell them I was suicidal, not even to my closest friend I had done that, while here they know it from the start, which makes it easier to tell them basically everything, and them to me.

you just gotta deal with the fact that many people here are already settled on ctb, which you cannot change.

You're right I guess I was just being emotional. I'm sorry

 

[meowalyst]

You're right I guess I was just being emotional. I'm sorry

no bro you weren't "just being emotional" you're a human and your feelings are valid. its hard to keep seeing good people go and bad people doing whatever the fuck they want, just know that your friend(s) that decided to ctb are truly at peace now and don't have to deal with those shitty people. again, you're allowed to feel the way you do and it's okay to grieve even knowing that you met them on a forum such as this. i wish you luck and hope you're well<3

 

[shun75x]

I'd really like to make friends here, even if it's just for a short time, because, well, we all know that everyone here is looking for a way to end their life, but if along the way we can be kind to one another and keep each other company, I'm all for it.

 

[tonicer]

You have a kind heart. Before I didn't give a shit about my parents feeling if I CTb, I just thought she would move on be sad but continue her life. Now knowing she's ready to kill herself over me. I can't do it anymore.
I am sorry you don't have friends to talk too that sounds lonely

Thank you. I'm glad i could help you to find a reason to keep going, at least for as long as your parents are alive.
Did your mother tell you she would follow you if you committed suicide?

I had some friends (aka gaming buddies) a while ago but they turned a dark corner i just couldn't follow and the only real life friend i met all the way back at my schooldays never wants to meet up somewhere, i guess he is ashamed to be seen with me.

 

[JEDM]

Thank you. I'm glad i could help you to find a reason to keep going, at least for as long as your parents are alive.
Did your mother tell you she would follow you if you committed suicide?

I had some friends (aka gaming buddies) a while ago but they turned a dark corner i just couldn't follow and the only real life friend i met all the way back at my schooldays never wants to meet up somewhere, i guess he is ashamed to be seen with me.

No, she never told me that. I thought I was a failure of a son, that she would mourn me and get on by with her life. I was already in a psych ward when she attempted because I drank alcohol and Xanax. I wasn't trying to attempt just trying to get really intoxicated. She attempted because when she visited me in the ward, I got on my knees and begged her that I wanted to die with the Sn that I bought. She already knew about the SN because I wanted to be honest with her and told her I wanted to die.

What do you mean by dark corner? Or is it too intimate. And why would your friend be ashamed to be seen with you?

 

[tonicer]

No, she never told me that. I thought I was a failure of a son, that she would mourn me and get on by with her life. I was already in a psych ward when she attempted because I drank alcohol and Xanax. I wasn't trying to attempt just trying to get really intoxicated. She attempted because when she visited me in the ward, I got on my knees and begged her that I wanted to die with the Sn that I bought. She already knew about the SN because I wanted to be honest with her and told her I wanted to die.

Oh, damn.

What do you mean by dark corner? Or is it too intimate.

They were extremely racist.

And why would your friend be ashamed to be seen with you?

I guess because i am ugly.

 

[JEDM]

guess because i am ugly.

Then that isn't your friend and he is a piece of shit. I couldn't care less what my friends look like

 

[tonicer]

Then that isn't your friend and he is a piece of shit. I couldn't care less what my friends look like

You're right. I don't care that he is severely overweight either. I never bullied him for it or even slightly made fun of him or said anything about it. I liked him as a friend because of his brain. That's why it hurts even more that he doesn't want to be seen with me.

 

[JEDM]

You're right. I don't care that he is severely overweight either. I never bullied him for it or even slightly made fun of him or said anything about it. I liked him as a friend because of his brain. That's why it hurts even more that he doesn't want to be seen with me.

I hope you manage to find people who like you for who you are and not what you look like which are real friends.

 

[tonicer]

I hope you manage to find people who like you for who you are and not what you look like which are real friends.

Thank you a lot. I hope you are lucky too. :)

 

[Estrella87]

I also start to believe that it's not such a good idea to make friends here, even if I made some and I'll probably continue, knowing how I am...

It's too much heartbreaking and I start to believe I'm too sensitive for that. Once I spoke a bit with a person I start to feel empathy for this person and like it like if it was a true friend, despite I never saw the person of my life.

One time I chatted during 2 days in pm with a member, the person was friendly and then, no more answer until I understood that she had left this world. I felt sad, because I wanted to say her a last goodbye, even ask her if she had a last wish I could do or whatever, because for me the person was almost a friend. But she left without telling me anything

Another time someone just told me "cya I ctb now". My hart started to beat quick, I wrote her some last words, felt sad of such a sudden departure without even speaking a last time together... Then next day the person told me she failed... And we are still chatting.

But honnestly, I'm too sensitive for that I believe.