SolomonKado
This is taking too long…
- Jul 4, 2023
- 424
When I look at my life and think how when someone dies in my moms side of the family they tried to take care of us in their death. By us inheriting money. $5,000 to $10,000 each death, but my problem hasn't been money worries.
I took care of myself by getting safe jobs that paid well and I didn't have to worry about being laid off. My problem has always been the people around me.
I tried to be happy, but I made mistakes along the way. I'd choose a girl that was emotionally unsettled or another that was horrible in relationships and tried more in her friendships then she did with her relationship with me. Maybe it was because her friends made her more happy then I ever could no matter how hard I tried. Her friendships didn't cause her to hurt like she did in relationships with other men.
All because I was desperate to either start a family or afraid to be alone. With those mistakes came suffering inside that led me to further mistakes.
I was so unhappy and reacted negatively. All because I took shortcuts in my personal life that I should have been way more cautious about. All because of feeling like I wasn't enough when my father left and then died weeks later in a horrible accident. I didn't think I deserved better…here I am now in my quiet suffering because of those mistakes. Peppered in is my mistreatment by those who I thought were supposed to be more professional or loving.
Maybe I have it all wrong and I made the world what "I" thought it should be and since no one acted that way I took it as unnecessary punishment towards me. Now I'm here because the world couldn't live up to the one I expected it to be. It's a lot more ….something
I took care of myself by getting safe jobs that paid well and I didn't have to worry about being laid off. My problem has always been the people around me.
I tried to be happy, but I made mistakes along the way. I'd choose a girl that was emotionally unsettled or another that was horrible in relationships and tried more in her friendships then she did with her relationship with me. Maybe it was because her friends made her more happy then I ever could no matter how hard I tried. Her friendships didn't cause her to hurt like she did in relationships with other men.
All because I was desperate to either start a family or afraid to be alone. With those mistakes came suffering inside that led me to further mistakes.
I was so unhappy and reacted negatively. All because I took shortcuts in my personal life that I should have been way more cautious about. All because of feeling like I wasn't enough when my father left and then died weeks later in a horrible accident. I didn't think I deserved better…here I am now in my quiet suffering because of those mistakes. Peppered in is my mistreatment by those who I thought were supposed to be more professional or loving.
Maybe I have it all wrong and I made the world what "I" thought it should be and since no one acted that way I took it as unnecessary punishment towards me. Now I'm here because the world couldn't live up to the one I expected it to be. It's a lot more ….something
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