not suicidal anymore :( goodbye thread

[dinosavr]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Good luck with your future endeavors! Hope everything works the way you need it to.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm so glad that you've recovered! ^_^ May God bless you and let you keep what you have now for the rest of your life! :D don't let the fact that you feel like you should stay true to your beliefs keep you weighed down on here~ after all, our beliefs are pro-choice, not pro-sewer slide~
Also, yup! ^_^ SS is a very good and helpful site for coping with the thoughts no matter what all the pro-lifers say about it! :/ ofc, I still hang around here, am pro-choice, and talk to people and frens here, but I haven't been sewer slidal since I fell in love with my bf either~ It's great to feel great once again! :D

 

[Young.Werther]

Congrats! So happy you found some peace in this world

 

[nozomu]

Congratulations on the recovery. We wish you all the best

 

[justcallmeJ]

Glad to hear, enjoy your recovery <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm glad you recovered. Good luck!!

 

[Deleted member 8119]

It's always good to see people recovering :) Personally, I've found this place very useful for my mental health, although I guess each experience is different.

 

[theboy]

I wish you all the best. I congratulate you for coming out of the darkness

 

[Ameya]

Good luck on the world out there

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Congrats for your recovery! I hope you continue to improve. Don't worry about being "loyal", you changed and that's okay and it's much better to improve than to feel the need to ctb. Be happy for what you've accomplished!

 

[Dliena]

Good of luck OP and hoping you find solace forever.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

Thank you for this post. I'm happy for you and hope for you to find your peace, wherever it may be.

I agree that your post is important to be seen by the pro-lifers that don't understand this space. I'm happy that this place has been helpful in your recovery.

I wish you all the best!

 

[annxietty]

I loved reading your post, I really wish you the best and I completely agree with everything, this place helps a lot, in different ways for different people, but it helps... I still cant leave this site, but Im not as frequent as I was before... I would be very sad If this site vanished.

 

[rozeske]

I feel bad for only seeing this post now. Congrats @dinosavr on the recovery, am so happy for you! I will miss seeing your posts around. I wish you all the best in your journey

 

[Galahad]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

First post I've read of yours and in the nicest possible way I hope it's the last. I've only just joined here and my mind is full of suicidal thoughts so we're at opposite ends of our journey here.

Best wishes for your future, I hope it's bright, healthy and successful for you.

 

[dinosavr]

I feel bad for only seeing this post now. Congrats @dinosavr on the recovery, am so happy for you! I will miss seeing your posts around. I wish you all the best in your journey

Turns out wanting to go on with your life is a whole lot more difficult than I had ever imagined. Sooo even though with a different approach and definitely more rarely, I will be coming back here with my silly little posts, trying to find the right path for myself.
Thank you for such sweet words It means the world to me!

 

[rozeske]

Turns out wanting to go on with your life is a whole lot more difficult than I had ever imagined. Sooo even though with a different approach and definitely more rarely, I will be coming back here with my silly little posts, trying to find the right path for myself.
Thank you for such sweet words It means the world to me!

Oh i was so sad for missing the chance to wish you luck and tell you how brave you are for chasing what you want. It's definitely not easy or short. And you are brave for coming as far as you did! Whatever path you feel comfortable to achieve your gole, is the right path. Always here for you

 

[Guy Smiley]

Wishing you all the best. Take care

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I wish you the best of luck with anything and everything related to life. Hopefully you enjoy your life to the maximum

 

[_Broken_alice]

Turns out wanting to go on with your life is a whole lot more difficult than I had ever imagined. Sooo even though with a different approach and definitely more rarely, I will be coming back here with my silly little posts, trying to find the right path for myself.
Thank you for such sweet words It means the world to me!

It certainly isn't easy, but we believe in you. The journey may be very difficult, but we think it will very much be worthwhile.
We are also trying to find our own path and trying to break the thought patterns. We know how hard it can be.
We wish you the very best in your path to recovery. Just wanting to recover is such a huge step. You've got this.

 

[onion Fox]

enjoy your recovery!

 

[Kit1]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

Well Done, Dinosavr! Really happy for you and extremely proud of you for trying, persevering and managing to break through to a positive life. Good Luck with all your future endeavours and remember that you have the best wishes of so many well wishers from here. Tale care.

 

[Tenshi_vhc]

Congratulations on your recovery:DD. Farewell you will be missed o7

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

God job on the recovery wish you best! :3

 

[whywere]

So super happy for you! My blessings and love go out to you on your new journey!

All my love and huge hugs to you and you go!

Walter

 

[heavyeyes]

Congrats and good luck on your path to recovery. You deserve nothing but the best life has to offer <3

 

[Parnate]

W

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

Wish you a successful and happy life.

 

[juna]

Happy for you, hope you get all the happiness in the world.

 

[Margarethe666#!/&]

I realised I actually got to the point where I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I don't feel the need to die as much as I did. It feels incredibly weird and wrong as I really thought this was what I actually wanted really bad and that there is no chance that it would ever change. And here I am… Alive and fine with it.

God, I feel like a fool. I kind of want to relapse and be "loyal" to what I believed while I was suicidal. I feel like the choice to stay alive is stupid and irrational. But yet I can't seem to change it back now. I guess it's definitely the impact of my meditation that started to work after many many months.

Wow, I can't believe that I will probably be leaving this site, at least for now…
It's really fucking difficult for me to accept it. I still somehow find it logical and reasonable to want to die. But as I've stated before, no one helps you with death. You're on your own. And here, with recovery, I've got my family and friends on my side. They will support me, I guess. I don't know. I really don't fucking know…

Thank you all for everything! I really love this site and it has been the most important and helpful thing in my life for these few months.

And to anyone who's against sasu, look at me! I spent 99% of the time here on the suicide section, every single day since the beginning of December. And it didn't make my recovery impossible. I felt understood and comforted here. It's something you have almost no chance to get outside of here while you're suicidal.
And I believe it's something you pro lifers need to start considering more while trying to prevent suicides - us, suicidal people, feel incredibly alone in what we believe. Being a part of the community that has similar beliefs and goals makes it so much easier to handle. After all, loneliness is a real killer. Nobody should ever feel alone.
I get it why you're concerned about this site with all the resources, methods explained, etc, but it really really really helped me get through my depressive episode. And I'm forever grateful for being able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who had supportive words to say, not just wanting to lock me in or prevent me with force from thinking about suicide. It would never work, I swear to God.

Ok it turned out to be longer than I wanted.
I guess I'll still visit sometimes. Maybe it's just a temporary change, I don't know. But for now it's a goodbye.

Thank you all so much!!! I can't stress this enough, I'm forever grateful. I hope you can find your peace as soon as possible.
Remember, you and all your thoughts are VALID!!!!!!!

I think you've made a right choice. Dying is easy, living is hard. I was thinking about suicide and the ways to do it for the most of my life… I'm still dealing with it. There are times I just can't cope with anything, when I just want it all to stop… but then there are times when I want to feel happy, which I never had in my life. I'm glad you have found your way and I wish you all the best