I feel like most people have this desire to get better, like if someone gets cancer, they are like "I don't want this, I want to get healthy again." But I feel like my depression is just like "I don't really feel like I want to get better, just let it take me"
Has anybody felt that before? Has it gone away?
Imagine that i know a guy that got cancer during adolescence, he fought, he recovered and he is proud of that.
I had also problems(not big as cancer in any possible way) but i kept them for myself and i developed depression later, when i made the full realization of what happened to me. In my case (which could not be your) i need something that makes me smile and give me back the things i lost: which are mostly time, money, peace of mind and some experiences.
Many just say: don't think about depression, just go and make something out of life, which i partially did and maybe this can work for you also.
Other ppl are depressed also and have many problems, go out and find something that you may like and put all your soul in it.
Once you are depressed and alone, it is like you have nothing left and when you have nothing left, there is all to conquer.
Btw this is the third time in my life that i feel exactly like you, i don't want to get better. One of the few things that are keeping me here is my mother, she knows me, she knows that I'm not bad and I am just depressed. And i feel bad when i think to kms and that she will not know until i did it. She was also a really good mother to me during youth.
