Venting no one wants to talk

[Haematemesis]

even people i know for a while don't want to talk to me anymore

me: hi how r u
them: fine, you?
me: im kinda tired, what's new
them: oh if you're tired u gotta sleep
them: gn
me: gn...

every single night
im genuinely thinking about abandoning the society and living in the woods

 

[wantingdignity]

I feel you. A lot of people don't know what to say. It sucks that both sides of the relationship have to invest more in order to grow the relationship when you feel depleted.

 

[bankai]

Don't be too harsh on them op.Everyone's got their issues.Living in the woods has always appealed to me though. I watch a lot of these YouTube videos where people are building these houses out in the wilderness.Seems pretty cool.

 

[Haematemesis]

I feel you. A lot of people don't know what to say. It sucks that both sides of the relationship have to invest more in order to grow the relationship when you feel depleted.

i don't even know anymore

in every single relationship of mine i am the one who puts effort, i am the one who is there when something's wrong

i felt better when i posted this but the issue is still there

Don't be too harsh on them op.Everyone's got their issues.Living in the woods has always appealed to me though. I watch a lot of these YouTube videos where people are building these houses out in the wilderness.Seems pretty cool.

i try to comfort myself by saying "they have their own lives" but it's just weird that everyone is like that
i feel completely alone, all my friends and even my gf is like that
i send my friends funny videos and all i get is a like

i dont have the manliness to distance myself because i am such a coward who constantly fears loneliness which hurt even worse

 

[Dejected 55]

I identify with this. When I had friends my friends tended to only be around when they needed something specifically from me OR their more fun/interesting/better friends were busy. I'm the last option for them because they exhausted all their other options and they know I will be around because what else do I have going on?

Friends would ask favors from me that I would happily do... then those would just become defacto obligations where they could plan their more fun lives around me being available to do whatever task they needed from me so they could do their other better things without me. I've stopped trying to make friends for that reason.

Already distant from most family anyway, and parents long gone... but a sister who ultimately proved to me that she was not interested in being available to me when I needed help, or she might help begrudgingly but then berate me for daring to need help and abusing me by guilting me into things because she was helping me... and then when I was in a better place, she suddenly treated me like I was a great person because she wanted money from me and as long as I had money to give she gave the illusion of caring... so I'm detached from family as well.

 

[Haematemesis]

I identify with this. When I had friends my friends tended to only be around when they needed something specifically from me OR their more fun/interesting/better friends were busy. I'm the last option for them because they exhausted all their other options and they know I will be around because what else do I have going on?

Friends would ask favors from me that I would happily do... then those would just become defacto obligations where they could plan their more fun lives around me being available to do whatever task they needed from me so they could do their other better things without me. I've stopped trying to make friends for that reason.

Already distant from most family anyway, and parents long gone... but a sister who ultimately proved to me that she was not interested in being available to me when I needed help, or she might help begrudgingly but then berate me for daring to need help and abusing me by guilting me into things because she was helping me... and then when I was in a better place, she suddenly treated me like I was a great person because she wanted money from me and as long as I had money to give she gave the illusion of caring... so I'm detached from family as well.

you're probably more experienced than me, please give me a way

i think the solution might be not being available all the time am i right? would that work?

 

[getoutgirl]

I reached out to like 3 people after 8 months of total isolation recently. Conversations do be like that now. Turns out relationships are pretty fragile and deteriorate easily.
sorry you experience that too.

 

[Apathy79]

As someone who lived isolated in the woods for many years, I can vouch for it for personality types like mine, where you don't like being around people and even small amounts of time with people need large times alone to recharge. But if you actually crave human connection, it's not going to improve the situation. On that topic, I'm the worst person in the world to give advice, but in my very limited experience, taking an interest in them, asking what's on their mind, etc., works better than generic openers.

 

[Dejected 55]

you're probably more experienced than me, please give me a way

i think the solution might be not being available all the time am i right? would that work?

I haven't really solved anything, just decided to opt out from society as much as I can these days. I have in the past tried not being available but people tended to not believe me because they knew I didn't have anything else to do and they would actually get mad at me for not being available. That would just irritate me more.

Ultimately when backed into a corner I will snap back at people... and they don't like it... and seem surprised when I tell them how they haven't really been a good friend. I think it's just better for me to not try and have friends in the first place and make sure I push consistently any legacy ones away if they come out of the woodwork.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, I've noticed that, for people like me, most relationships are tied to some external bond: Work, school, favors or things you have to offer, etc. Once those end, the "friendships" break, and you become a burden.

When you try to reach out, all you get are those monosyllabic conversations. Why bother, then. I've cut all those old "friendships". Wish it was easy for me to make new ones, but years passing haven't done any favors to my social skills.

 

[ALonelyFreak]

Fuckin rel.

Don't be too harsh on them op.Everyone's got their issues.Living in the woods has always appealed to me though. I watch a lot of these YouTube videos where people are building these houses out in the wilderness.Seems pretty cool.

When some people don't have time for you it's fine. But when nobody has time for you it's a problem. It's a big deal when nobody cares for you.

 

[Griever]

I'm not really good at having conversations