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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
Has some good reviews for depression (also for Bipolar and mania). Has some amazing reviews. Has some safety concerns - cognitive blunting and autism....
I'm trying to find out the safe doseage. I just had 10mg and maybe I can get out of bed (it's 2:30 pm UK time)

This Reddit says 20mg or under is likely safe:

This Reddit OP is very happy - but commentators think he is speaking too soon/manic:




This guy (maybe woman IDK) had a very good experience - and also some comments mention it for Bipolar:

This one mentions dangers - eg memory loss, drunken feeling:

This one is having luck on 5mg a night, but worried about dangers:

This one had success on 2m a day/night (can't remember which):

This person not much effect yet:

This guy combined it with dextro-amphetamine (whatever that is) for good results:



 
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L-L

-
Nov 14, 2019
128
Super interesting reading! I'm visiting my partner's Grandparents this weekend to help care for the Granddad who has Alzheimer's Disease. He's currently taking memantine.

Hope you find it has a positive effect on you!
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
Thank you. I took 30mg today and no effect (meant to be dissociative). I was so hoping for a day off. Apparently safe dosing is 5mg or 10mg max.

Sigh.

Hopefully it might help others though.
 
LivideLamb

LivideLamb

I'm so decaying, feeling like an ashtray
Jan 5, 2020
340
Thanks for those reddit post! I just learn about this medication. I will look into it for personal use.
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
I don't recommend 30mg as a starting dose. I still have a headache from yesterday.

For NMDA receptors, I prefer Profrontal -which is Sarcosine and NAC. They gave me two weeks off depression. Then it slunk back.

But I hope memantine does help others!
 
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FailingAtLife

Member
Mar 2, 2020
64
Hi LittleJem.

Did you get the memantine you're trying from your grandfather when you visited?
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
Hi LittleJem.

Did you get the memantine you're trying from your grandfather when you visited?

Lol. My grandpa is gone - it was Alzheimers - but I don't know if he took that medication

I got it from a pharmacist contact I have. For me, selegiline works better. But I should probably have tried the memantine at a lower dose and given it a few days or a few weeks. I am too desperate and impatient. I might try the combo again. The recommended combo is selegiline, memantine and moclobemide.
 
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FailingAtLife

Member
Mar 2, 2020
64
Lol. My grandpa is gone - it was Alzheimers - but I don't know if he took that medication

I got it from a pharmacist contact I have. For me, selegiline works better. But I should probably have tried the memantine at a lower dose and given it a few days or a few weeks. I am too desperate and impatient. I might try the combo again. The recommended combo is selegiline, memantine and moclobemide.

I get the impatience thing only too well!

So I guess it's mainly depression you struggle with...?

It's damned handy you've a pharmacist who can help you with getting the stuff you want to try!

Are you looking to eventually ctb or just for some way to cope with the depression...?
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
I get the impatience thing only too well!

So I guess it's mainly depression you struggle with...?

It's damned handy you've a pharmacist who can help you with getting the stuff you want to try!

Are you looking to eventually ctb or just for some way to cope with the depression...?

He doesn't have everything, but it is handy. Then I have a website you can buy real prescription medication on, and a Russian Pharmacy website for Russian pharmaceuticials.

I am looking to CTB really. I am losing hope of anythnig helping the depression, which is just worse and worse all the time. I'm not eating properly, I've become a hermit, I am not wanting to get out of bed. When I was bedridden at first, I would make myself go for a walk in the afternoon or evening, to stay active. I am getting to the point where I don't care.
For CTB I have a method already in my house - but it takes 24 hours. So I am thinking CO method in a tent. But I just have no motivation for anything. I've been meaning to write my will now for over a year. I am going to try and do it today.
 
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FailingAtLife

Member
Mar 2, 2020
64
He doesn't have everything, but it is handy. Then I have a website you can buy real prescription medication on, and a Russian Pharmacy website for Russian pharmaceuticials.

I am looking to CTB really. I am losing hope of anythnig helping the depression, which is just worse and worse all the time. I'm not eating properly, I've become a hermit, I am not wanting to get out of bed. When I was bedridden at first, I would make myself go for a walk in the afternoon or evening, to stay active. I am getting to the point where I don't care.
For CTB I have a method already in my house - but it takes 24 hours. So I am thinking CO method in a tent. But I just have no motivation for anything. I've been meaning to write my will now for over a year. I am going to try and do it today.

Getcha completely, my dear re: the not caring/eating. You can only fall down so many times before the hope all goes.

I've struggled w/ depression on & off for around 20 years, following a brain injury. Been diagnosed w/ all sorts over the years, including BPD. Tried corresponding meds/therapy; nothing.

Tried various job options, hobbies, throwing money at various endeavours; but the contendedness that people usually have in their lives - and that i had prior to my accident - never arrives. However, the depression *never* stops calling.

Most on here would've ctb ages ago in my situation, but the fear of the finality just won't let me do it. So instead, I just exist, futilely hoping for some kind of miracle, but no longer having the patience/motivation to somehow improve things in the long term (eg. going to bed early, going to the gym, forcing myself into a regular routine & doing things I don't really enjoy in the short term for long term gain, etc.)

What about friends/family? Or are they all on planet, "Why Are You Always Depressed...? Don't Drag Us Down Too..."

Already got the will sorted awhile ago...;o)
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,444
I don't know to be honest. I'm living with my dad and his wife, and when I'm bedridden I don't always get offered a cup of tea or any food, as they want me to be "independent." I like them, but I mean, I could be worse than this and I wouldn't get anything to drink or eat. I don't want to be bedridden in their house indefinitely.

Friends, bf - I am isolating myself, because I am not enjoying anything. I used to force myself to see people - but now I am kind of over that. Now I just want to keep away from them, especially in case I CTB, but also because I am low and grumpy and reactive, and I don't want to do that to my boyfriend, or be asking him to strangle me, which is what I do when I am low.

Like you, I've tried so many things - and now I don't think anything will work.

I've been trying to educate my friends and family and also to tell them I don't want to suffer for much longer. I know I can't protect them from being upset, but I just really want this over.

I feel like I am being depressing posting this as well!!! Sorry.
 
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FailingAtLife

Member
Mar 2, 2020
64
I don't know to be honest. I'm living with my dad and his wife, and when I'm bedridden I don't always get offered a cup of tea or any food, as they want me to be "independent." I like them, but I mean, I could be worse than this and I wouldn't get anything to drink or eat. I don't want to be bedridden in their house indefinitely.

Friends, bf - I am isolating myself, because I am not enjoying anything. I used to force myself to see people - but now I am kind of over that. Now I just want to keep away from them, especially in case I CTB, but also because I am low and grumpy and reactive, and I don't want to do that to my boyfriend, or be asking him to strangle me, which is what I do when I am low.

Like you, I've tried so many things - and now I don't think anything will work.

I've been trying to educate my friends and family and also to tell them I don't want to suffer for much longer. I know I can't protect them from being upset, but I just really want this over.

I feel like I am being depressing posting this as well!!! Sorry.

Heh heh. My dear, PLEASE do not apologise for how you feel...!!!!

It's more depressing when people tell you they're "over" their depression & hit you w/ all the same platitudes that just make you feel misunderstood & even worse...!

I don't think anyone's on here expecting purely "uplifting" conversation; on the contrary, they just want to know they're not the only ones struggling.

Ok, *convincing* someone to ctb (which those blaming the site in the documentary where I found out about it were doing; that way, they needn't take responsibility for their own failings) is not right, but understanding you're not weak or alone is very right and is what I think many people are here for.

Suicide is a permanent solution to what may - OR may not - be a temporary problem, so if you're here rather than just ctb ASAP, then you want some kind of support which you're not getting elsewhere.

That's no bad thing at all; I'm sure there are peeps who are still here who would have ctb one way or another had they NOT found support on this forum.