Hey guys. I'm so relieved I found this forum. Hopefully, I can finally get the chance to talk about my struggles, without being judged and threatened with police and involuntary containment.
I'm in my 30's, developed PTSD at age 8 and since then my life has been a living nightmare. I've gone looking for help several times, only to be faced with more abuse, leading to more trauma. It's a never ending spiral which eventually made me end up physically sick as well. I've been doing several attempts to CTB through my life, but I've always managed to be "saved", either through guilt towards my loved ones, invasive methods (meaning getting locked up and threatened with involuntary containment should I leave) or recurring "promises" of help that only ended up traumatized me even further, which is the situation I'm currently in right now, again.
I have decided, that 2023 is when I finally leave this fucked up world. I can't live with the knowledge of the cruelty that humans on a daily basis subject others - both human and other species alike - to. I feel like society will do anything to keep people alive, except actually helping us to want to be alive. Instead, they tear people's lives apart even further by the means of their missguided "help". Suffering people are forced to stay alive, and nothing is done to help with the suffering. It's backwards, and I can't take it.
I have some things I need to tend to, most importantly making sure my cat is safe and healthy before I leave. That's the hardest part, since I have to find a new home for him, I have to be alive when we say goodbye.
I hope that I get the chance to get to know you guys. I'm very grateful a place such as this exists.
"That the one who no longer wants to live for himself should now continue to live merely as a machine for the use of others is an extravagant demand." - Schopenhauer
I'm in my 30's, developed PTSD at age 8 and since then my life has been a living nightmare. I've gone looking for help several times, only to be faced with more abuse, leading to more trauma. It's a never ending spiral which eventually made me end up physically sick as well. I've been doing several attempts to CTB through my life, but I've always managed to be "saved", either through guilt towards my loved ones, invasive methods (meaning getting locked up and threatened with involuntary containment should I leave) or recurring "promises" of help that only ended up traumatized me even further, which is the situation I'm currently in right now, again.
I have decided, that 2023 is when I finally leave this fucked up world. I can't live with the knowledge of the cruelty that humans on a daily basis subject others - both human and other species alike - to. I feel like society will do anything to keep people alive, except actually helping us to want to be alive. Instead, they tear people's lives apart even further by the means of their missguided "help". Suffering people are forced to stay alive, and nothing is done to help with the suffering. It's backwards, and I can't take it.
I have some things I need to tend to, most importantly making sure my cat is safe and healthy before I leave. That's the hardest part, since I have to find a new home for him, I have to be alive when we say goodbye.
I hope that I get the chance to get to know you guys. I'm very grateful a place such as this exists.
"That the one who no longer wants to live for himself should now continue to live merely as a machine for the use of others is an extravagant demand." - Schopenhauer
