Venting never been much more hopeless

[rxcha]

been depressed my whole life, in middle school i almost didn't want to be happy. now it's really all i can think about. graduated and i've got nothing left. the only reason i ever talk to people is to get drunk or high. in between that i just work and sleep. i think im just incompatible with life to be honest. i love interacting with people but no one ever seems to want to talk to me. i think i just have an off putting disposition, cant understand it. i'm pretty good looking girls hit on me, but they get bored after talking to me for a bit. i don't even expect anything from them i just wants friends. but no one ever wants to be friends with me. i even did sports at some point but even that was taken from me. i was pretty good, it made me so happy. can't really put up with it much longer, feels like it's all over already. for years i've been hoping every car i walk by sideswipes and kills me. i walk through bad neighborhoods praying someone shoots me. i cross roads when cars are going past hoping someone takes me out. can't ever express these feelings with anyone because no one cares.

 

[here_for_now]

there isnt anything i can say that will change your situation but what i can say is your not alone. and i care. im in a similar predicament minus the good looking part. dont be so hard on yourself there isnt anything wrong with not fitting in a fucked up world, hence why you use substances to cope because reality is painful.

 

[rxcha]

there isnt anything i can say that will change your situation but what i can say is your not alone. and i care. im in a similar predicament minus the good looking part. dont be so hard on yourself there isnt anything wrong with not fitting in a fucked up world, hence why you use substances to cope because reality is painful.

thank you for the nice commment, i hope we can both be happy someday

 

[MaggotMuncher202]

That loneliness is the absolute worst. Just thinking you're doing okay for once and then they just kinda.... Leave. And you're just stuck with that weird never ending sad feeling. I've been passively attempting with traffic and shit like that too. The only thought that even keeps me connected to this world is that maybe I'll find someone I can just talk to. Just any friend at all. I'm sorry dude, hopefully you find some comfort connecting with similar people on here.