Very few people have what I'd define as a true desire to die, from what I've encountered. Most don't wish to live in the circumstances placed upon them, and either there genuinely is no way out, or they can't figure it out at a given moment. That's why being conflicted is natural.
I both need and want to die, while simultanously desiring to stay for a couple of reasons. Had I been blessed with the ability to be content when complely alone, maybe it would have been different.