Venting My time has come

[breadMan]

I had a month before uni starts, i thought going home for a bit would help. It did not. I am glad I got to meet my family one last time before the most selfish thing I can posibly do. I thought if I improved even 1% i will keep going. I tried to, i really tried. But i am literally unable to think any more. And i don't see any point going on. I have so many regrets, if i could restart my life I would do it very different. I go back home few days before my uni starts, I need to end it then. i have a full suspension set up ready. I just need to go through it this time. I am realy grateful for sasu. Really felt like I was heard. This wont be my last post, I will do one more post the day of my attempt.

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

When I was at university (Western Carolina University, Cullowhee, North Carolina) I jumped off of the Apodaca Science Building twice. Once from the inside, from the second floor into the atrium. The other time, from the outside, via the fifth floor outdoor greenhouse patio onto the road below. The second time, I was arrested and in police custody for 9 hours. Don't do it at university. It is a thoughtcrime. Being sad is a thoughtcrime. They do everything to keep the Disneyland illusion alive and running. Including lying to parents, herding LGBTQ+ into the margins, and pretending like a state sponsored degree is somehow capable of getting you a decent paying job. I was going to switch to private school. I could have funded it myself. I was almost a millionaire. I could have had it all and achieved anything and everything. My research was stopped, I was discredited. The system is a scam. Don't do it on their property lines. They own you. The perfect way to both live and die is in seclusion.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.