mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
Oh come on..

A therapist is supposed to help you live, not die.

I don't understand these threads "my therapists is not helping me to die". Of course not. Are you expecting them to say "oh don't worry here's your SN, I'll bring you some water so you can drink it"

There are good therapists and bad therapists.

If therapy works well it's supposed to make you feel more comfortable about living. That's their goal

Dying sadly is a very lonely decision
The point of this post wasn't that he won't help me die. I just wanted to express my frustration because he broke his promise to me. And to express that I made a mistake, nobody's perfect.
You're right that's not their job and they shouldn't encourage it, however, in my case my therapist was also suicidal and had a failed attempt 10 years ago (before he became a therapist) so I thought he wouldn't betray my trust like others did him.
But you're right, we all die alone and I think I've accepted that. Just wanted some support before the big day.
 
B

booray

Can’t do this anymore
Jan 28, 2021
394
The point of this post wasn't that he won't help me die. I just wanted to express my frustration because he broke his promise to me. And to express that I made a mistake, nobody's perfect.
You're right that's not their job and they shouldn't encourage it, however, in my case my therapist was also suicidal and had a failed attempt 10 years ago (before he became a therapist) so I thought he wouldn't betray my trust like others did him.
But you're right, we all die alone and I think I've accepted that. Just wanted some support before the big day.
You have our support OP, but it was naive of you to expect that your therapist would ever return your SN to you. I find it hard to believe that he actually promised to return it to you at all, but if he did, then you should have seen it as a ruse to get you to hand it over to him. I get it that he once tried to ctb before becoming a therapist, but obviously he overcame his suicidal thoughts and that is his hope for you as well. You can't blame him for doing his job, even if he had to deceive you in order to keep you safe. If you're intent on suicide, we respect your decision, but don't expect anybody else outside of this forum to do so, especially mental health professionals.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
You have our support OP, but it was naive of you to expect that your therapist would ever return your SN to you. I find it hard to believe that he actually promised to return it to you at all, but if he did, then you should have seen it as a ruse to get you to hand it over to him. I get it that he once tried to ctb before becoming a therapist, but obviously he overcame his suicidal thoughts and that is his hope for you as well. You can't blame him for doing his job, even if he had to deceive you in order to keep you safe. If you're intent on suicide, we respect your decision, but don't expect anybody else outside of this forum to do so, especially mental health professionals.
I do agree with you. I'll find better support on this forum than I even would from a mental health professional.
And thank you for your reply, the more I read other people's throughts the easier it is for me to take it in.
 
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London2021

London2021

Member
Jan 30, 2021
70
Guess struggling with idea of a therapist being unboundaried enough to tell you this much about their personal life. It is too conflicted a position bound to cause you pain and trust difficulty . 're encouragement to die - not sure where are but in UK it's a specific criminal offence for a MHP to encourage suicide which giving it back could be. Therapy is a different and valid space , May be one that helps ppl recover, maybe one that just helps delay, in my case dunno. What I did find helpful when younger was had a psych and MHP where agreement was could just hand over dangerous items when struggling. Very long time ago can't see anything like that in place now for anyone so your post threw me.
 
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wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
983
I'm sorry this happened to you, @mittensxx. It was shifty of him to imply he'd give your SN back free and clear when actually there were some pretty significant strings attached. You don't get BPD from having a lifetime of great relationships, so I expect this feels like one more betrayal in a long string of them.


Therapists are cops. There is no such thing as a good therapist

You know, you make a interesting comparison there. Therapists themselves like to think of themselves as a type of doctor or healthcare worker in general. Actual physicians address injuries and diseases that can be seen, though. If you have a compound fracture, you know about it. Therapists address "diseases" that are invisible. So invisible that actually therapists really focus on symptoms—behaviors, rather than on actual sources of disease. You know who else's jobs involve locking up people whose behavior is alarming and unexpected? Cops.
 
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WatermelonMel

WatermelonMel

Melon Master
Aug 19, 2019
406
What happens if they report you? Are you involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital? I'm sorry this happened to you.
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
If I was a therapist I'd do the same thing, if you catch my meaning... :sunglasses:
 
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Tackingintothewind

Tackingintothewind

Mage
Mar 2, 2021
530
I think the therapist could also be reported as they are hanging on to a lethal substance
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
So? Did I ever say a therapist is supposed to help you die?

No therapist ever has made me comfortable about living. All they did was trick me into thinking they helped, because once I was out of a session, all I could think about is how I just needed the next one, because I felt like I couldn't bear life without it. If a therapist makes you comfortable about living, there is no point in going back there. That's how they make money, by tricking you into going back there, every week, and charging 20% of your monthly wage.
I'm sorry, but this really doesn't make sense. Some people have chronic mental conditions that require ongoing treatment and care, even after you begin feeling more comfortable about life. Also, healing tends to take place in phases, so you can feel much more comfortable, yet still need therapy in order to strengthen yourself and gain new coping skills.

You have a very cynical view on therapy, which has likely been caused by your past experiences in therapy, but to say that therapy is based upon tricking people is ridiculous.

I hate this anti-therapy rhetoric on this site. I definitely concede that there are a lot of shitty therapists out there who shouldn't be working in the profession, but this idea that circulates on here that therapy itself is worthless bothers me. I get that this is a suicide forum, but it's almost as if certain posters try to discourage other people from getting help.
 
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MyStateKilledMe

Arcanist
Apr 23, 2020
463
I hate this anti-therapy rhetoric on this site. I definitely concede that there are a lot of shitty therapists out there who shouldn't be working in the profession, but this idea that circulates on here that therapy itself is worthless bothers me. I get that this is a suicide forum, but it's almost as if certain posters try to discourage other people from getting help.
There's absolutely no reason to support the dangerous industry of gaslighting and emotional abuse, along with the human garbage that work in it. There's literally NOTHING that therapists do that actually helps. Think about your common therapy tactics.
1. Stupid, rhetorical questions, like "How did it make you feel?"
2. Parroting back the patient's statements, like "So, you felt abused."
3. Emotionally manipulating a patient into continuing to live a soul-killing life.
4. Siding with the people abusing the patient. (very common with family therapists)

If you think about it, a 3rd-grader or a homeless person on the street can do all those things. And yet, we have a whole industry built around this filthy, worthless, pathetic trash! What's wrong with this picture?!

The only good therapist is an unemployed therapist.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
I'm sorry this happened to you, @mittensxx. It was shifty of him to imply he'd give your SN back free and clear when actually there were some pretty significant strings attached. You don't get BPD from having a lifetime of great relationships, so I expect this feels like one more betrayal in a long string of them.
Thank you, that was the point I was trying to make with my post.
I didn't even think about the fact that I probably have an unhealthy relationship with my therapist. You've helped me understand my own feelings better than the therapist haha!
What happens if they report you? Are you involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital? I'm sorry this happened to you.
So he told me that he would have to fill out a whole load of paperwork and then the police would probably show up at my door to check if I'm a danger to myself. Which doesn't necessarily mean psych hospital admission, but you never know!
You have a very cynical view on therapy, which has likely been caused by your past experiences in therapy, but to say that therapy is based upon tricking people is ridiculous.

I hate this anti-therapy rhetoric on this site. I definitely concede that there are a lot of shitty therapists out there who shouldn't be working in the profession, but this idea that circulates on here that therapy itself is worthless bothers me. I get that this is a suicide forum, but it's almost as if certain posters try to discourage other people from getting help.
I hope I haven't come across anti-therapy either because it's literally the only thing that's kept me alive for the last 1.5/2 years.
I've learned a lot of new coping skills (even if I can't always use them) and having someone around who will always listen has been great. I don't have any family or friends around, only my boyfriend, so having a therapist is a great way to talk through any new or recurring trauma.
It's unfortunate that most people get stuck with shitty therapists, but not all of them are bad
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
I am not against people getting help. I am against people getting help from therapists, which isn't help, but an endless rhethoric exercise that does nothing but create a cycle of gaslighting (as said by other users here as well) whose sole purpose is to keep you trapped in it as long as possible. There is much more help out there, but a help that requires you to pay huge amounts of money for one single hour of help per week is sketchy, if you don't see that, you are either blind or a therapist yourself.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
I am not against people getting help. I am against people getting help from therapists, which isn't help, but an endless rhethoric exercise that does nothing but create a cycle of gaslighting (as said by other users here as well) whose sole purpose is to keep you trapped in it as long as possible. There is much more help out there, but a help that requires you to pay huge amounts of money for one single hour of help per week is sketchy, if you don't see that, you are either blind or a therapist yourself.
Just out of curiosity, what kind of help would you recommend for me if not therapy? I'm curious because I haven't been able to find any other options. And I agree, it's really fucking expensive and I'm paying out of my own pocket.
If there was another way to approch BPD then I'd love to know.
 
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wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
983
Thank you, that was the point I was trying to make with my post.
I didn't even think about the fact that I probably have an unhealthy relationship with my therapist. You've helped me understand my own feelings better than the therapist haha!

I don't want you to think that everything about your relationship with your therapist is unhealthy. People use poor judgment and do shitty things sometimes. It is possible to have an overall healthy relationship, professional or otherwise, with an imperfect person. If what you're referring to is that you were trusting your therapist blindly and assuming he could never cause you pain, then yeah, that's maladaptive. I don't know if I want to use the word "unhealthy," because that's acquired some weird value judgments along the lines of "that's worthless, throw it out." Not saying you used the word wrong—you didn't. I just prefer the less-common "maladaptive" (meaning not helpful, not useful in this particular situation, but not necessarily "sick"). And props for speaking more than one language well, by the way. Like too many Americans, I only speak English.

If your therapist is any good at his job, he will want you to bring your negative feelings about him to a session and work through them with him. I guess it would be natural to wonder if he's got any more nasty surprises for you, and since I've never met the guy, I can't say he doesn't. But if you have trust issues in relationships and feel that this is a time you can work on them, this would be the ideal setup.

No judgment either, obviously, if after careful consideration you decide you are just fucking done with all this and would rather ctb.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
I don't want you to think that everything about your relationship with your therapist is unhealthy. People use poor judgment and do shitty things sometimes. It is possible to have an overall healthy relationship, professional or otherwise, with an imperfect person. If what you're referring to is that you were trusting your therapist blindly and assuming he could never cause you pain, then yeah, that's maladaptive. I don't know if I want to use the word "unhealthy," because that's acquired some weird value judgments along the lines of "that's worthless, throw it out." Not saying you used the word wrong—you didn't. I just prefer the less-common "maladaptive" (meaning not helpful, not useful in this particular situation, but not necessarily "sick"). And props for speaking more than one language well, by the way. Like too many Americans, I only speak English.

If your therapist is any good at his job, he will want you to bring your negative feelings about him to a session and work through them with him. I guess it would be natural to wonder if he's got any more nasty surprises for you, and since I've never met the guy, I can't say he doesn't. But if you have trust issues in relationships and feel that this is a time you can work on them, this would be the ideal setup.

No judgment either, obviously, if after careful consideration you decide you are just fucking done with all this and would rather ctb.
That is a better word to use, I never even thought of it. Thank you btw, many people here are just agressive but you're providing helpful and non-judgemental replies.
It would definitely benefit me to go back in and talk about what happened. In the heat of the moment I was just angry and felt betrayed, but having had time to think things through I would have handled the situation differently.
If I do decide to ctb, it should be on my terms and with a clear state of mind (not clouded by anger or frustration from this incident).
 
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Bulldogbitch

Bulldogbitch

Lifes a bitch, so am I
Feb 12, 2020
85
I had a similar experience but not my SN. When I asked for it back, she said she'd destroyed it.

You still can get it back and have it at home, if you're seen by mental health because he reported you then lie, say you've no plan in using it but now you don't trust your therapist.

Surely they can't report you for having it at home or they'll have had a legal responsibility to report you before.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
I had a similar experience but not my SN. When I asked for it back, she said she'd destroyed it.

You still can get it back and have it at home, if you're seen by mental health because he reported you then lie, say you've no plan in using it but now you don't trust your therapist.

Surely they can't report you for having it at home or they'll have had a legal responsibility to report you before.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.
I told him that I wasn't in immediate danger and wasn't planning to use it in the next 4 weeks, but I still got the same response. All I know is that it's still in his drawer now so at least it's not gone.
I'm going back in next week and hopefully leaving with my SN this time around haha.
 
Bulldogbitch

Bulldogbitch

Lifes a bitch, so am I
Feb 12, 2020
85
I told him that I wasn't in immediate danger and wasn't planning to use it in the next 4 weeks, but I still got the same response. All I know is that it's still in his drawer now so at least it's not gone.
I'm going back in next week and hopefully leaving with my SN this time around haha.
Just take it. If he reports you then tell him that's fine but he's wasting his time and after last week you feel you can't trust him with it.
 
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EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
Oh come on..

A therapist is supposed to help you live, not die.

I don't understand these threads "my therapists is not helping me to die". Of course not. Are you expecting them to say "oh don't worry here's your SN, I'll bring you some water so you can drink it"

There are good therapists and bad therapists.

If therapy works well it's supposed to make you feel more comfortable about living. That's their goal

Dying sadly is a very lonely decision

It's not about them helping you die, it's about respecting your wish to die and not subjecting you to further cruelty to momentarily delay someone's suicide. This situation with the SN is no different than a "wellness" interrogation, it's manipulative is what it is. If you answer the "wrong" way you're threatened with imprisonment, that isn't helpful no matter how you try to justify it. This doesn't help someone live, it's extra suicide fuel because you're being blackmailed by someone you're suppose to trust.

If OP wants to end his life then he'll just buy more SN. All these therapists accomplish is alienating their client and solidifying the idea that therapists aren't to be trusted.
 
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R

rs929

Specialist
Dec 18, 2020
391
Just out of curiosity, what kind of help would you recommend for me if not therapy? I'm curious because I haven't been able to find any other options. And I agree, it's really fucking expensive and I'm paying out of my own pocket.
If there was another way to approch BPD then I'd love to know.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy has evidence for BPD.
Yes sorry I'm recommending you a therapist. I think we suicidal people need therapy and recommending people to stay away from it is dangerous. There are bad therapists though, you need to find one who you feel is helping you
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
There are bad therapists though, you need to find one who you feel is helping you
Gotta keep emptying your wallet on bad professionals until your are lucky enough to find one the "right one". Makes you wonder on the ethics of the profession, if so many "wrong ones" are allowed on it.
 
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EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
I'd avoid any behavioral modifying therapies as they lay the blame on the individual and don't actually address why you're feeling a certain way in the first place which are often factors external to you. and things that happened to you in the past. The idea that you have control over your thoughts and feelings is quite frankly a load of bullshit; you only have control as to how you react to them. Unless your living situation changes, your thoughts and feelings will never change either.

If anything, I'd go to a trauma informed therapist if it's within your means. I'm going to leave this post here by @KuriGohan&Kamehameha as it's relevant to the conversation.


As others have said, Psychiatry and Psychology are different. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication, while Psychologists are only lisenced to practice therapy and offer ways of coping that do not involve pharmaceutical intervention.

However, these two specialisms come from the same side of the coin when it comes to the fact that both of them are entrenched in the concept of diseases originating in "the mind".

There is an article floating out there somewhere about why Psychiatrists resist merging with Neurology, they seem to distance themselves from the idea of purely physical, somatic ailments causing someone to have a distressed mental state, I suppose because research is incredibly lacking in regards to mental ailments.

Likewise, many psychiatrists and psychologists seem to neglect very important environmental and socioeconomic factors that would rationally make a person depressed, scared, miserable, and anxious. I find it akin to scolding a person who recoils when they touch a hot stove. Your brain's natural response is to send out signals of pain in response to the damaging stimuli that has just burned the skin, you can't really control that reaction.

When people who are poor, alone disabled, underemployed or unemployed, marginalized, being abused, neglected, and so on and so forth seek assistance from the mental health industry, a lot of them are told they are ill and are either medicated unnecessarily or forced into things like CBT which tells them their negative feelings are cognitive distortions. When feeling awful and depressed in those situations is a completely natural response. If your environment is godawful, it is hard to delude yourself and pretend everything is peachy instead.

So instead of giving those people tangible help that would improve the mental anguish caused by their circumstances, or simply trying to provide symptom relief for things like lethargy, panic attacks, and loss of appetite, we tell them they are diseased. There is a serious lack of pragmatic help in these fields. People who need human connections aren't given opportunities for developing social skills besides their artificial interactions with the therapist. The impoverished aren't being given financial assistance. The unemployed aren't being given references and assistance with gaining employment.

I do believe medications and therapies have their place in some situations. I lived with a violent schizophrenic, who absolutely needed to be on a low dosage of Antipsychotics or else everyone in the family would be continually tormented by them. People who are violent or having extreme hallucinations do need pharmaceuticals to manage their conditions in the majority of cases. Likewise, Lithium can be helpful to some bipolar people. Yet, I think SSRIs are handed out like candy, and rarely alleviate the problem because the efficacy seems to be marginally higher than a placebo. A good number of serotonin receptors are in the GI tract, so I got nothing out of those medications except further illness.

Also, psychiatry truly lacks reliable diagnostic tools and relies on very subjective criteria. There are no blood tests, no scans, no biopsies, and things like the DSMV are often far too broad and speculative. I was seeing many different psychiatrists from age 13 to 20 and it took 6 years for them to order a laboratory test for me.

By then it was too late, I've had neuropathy for years now and it was very likely kickstarted by the fact I had dangerously low vitamin b12 levels for years and no general doctor or psychiatrist would give me a blood test, insisting my symptoms were psychosomatic.

Sure, these disciplines are not lobotomizing people anymore or locking women in prisons for disobeying their husbands under the guise that this behavior was lunacy and insanity.

However there are still human rights abuses going on every day in psychiatric wards. People being put in restraints because they're suicidal, forced drugging and physical exams that can traumatize a vulnerable person, gaslighting, verbal abuse, the list goes on and on. We should strive to criticise psychology and psychiatry to improve them, not shrug our shoulders and say, "well at least we aren't living in the barbaric times of lobotomies anymore!"

People airing their grievances against these professions on this forum doesn't mean that you personally have to stop engaging with these services or question their benefit to you, especially not if you've improved with voluntary therapy or psych meds and whatnot.

This discussion is not about those who personally benefited from psychiatry or psychology and thus see no issue with it, it is about the people who are receiving subpar, lackluster, un-scientific, and quite frankly, shitty care. Individuals who want things to change, and want to push for better treatments, diagnostic criteria, and services aren't going to impede someone from accessing things like talk therapy and SSRIs if they personally want those options for themselves and find them helpful.

But when it seems like the entire world does nothing but victim blame those who got no results from these things, and insists that it is a deficit of willpower and desire to change, that is the problem. Telling people they need to keep throwing out money to try a million different therapists is appalling. If you sent a plumber out to fix a leaky pipe and he couldn't do it, you wouldn't have to call 30 different plumbers to get the job done, would you? So why don't we hold counselors to the same standards?

I get that the science hasn't progressed far enough to understand complex cognitive processes and abnormalities. I am studying a Neuroscience degree, and I know how very little we actually know about things. Yet, we shouldn't put people in harms way and subject them to invalidation and gaslighting because of this. I blame stoicism for creating this falsehood that one can be in total control of their every thought and emotion. Sometimes, most of the time actually, that isn't the case. My severe ptsd isn't going away after reading some self help books about loving yourself.

You can't treat a malfunction of the fight or flight response with self help and mindfulness mantras. Neither can you fix derelict living conditions by popping a handful of pills. This is the dichotomy that psychiatry and psychology have plagued themselves with.

You aren't stupid for being skeptical of these things.
 
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H

HopelessFight

Warlock
Jan 31, 2021
741
I really dislike the therapist hate in this topic. I've met MANY therapists in my life. Some are good, some are crap. But to say "therapists are cops" or something isn't true at all. While I have horrible experiences with them as well, I've met some who really wanted to help me.

Despite that, therapists won't give you back a substance which he/she knows you'll use to kill yourself. Put yourself in their position. If they give it back and you actually use it, they basically assisted you since they knew why you wanted them to hand it over. Their license would be immediately suspended/revoked and their career would be ruined if people find out, they might even face criminal charges. It takes many, many years of hard work to become a psychiatrist. Would you risk your career just like that?

Although it certainly was wrong of that therapist to promise you to give it back. That was just a lie to let you hand it over. This indeed causes you to not trust them anymore. I've had similar experiences, unfortunately.
 
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mittensxx

mittensxx

Time to go
Nov 12, 2019
49
I really dislike the therapist hate in this topic. I've met MANY therapists in my life. Some are good, some are crap. But to say "therapists are cops" or something isn't true at all. While I have horrible experiences with them as well, I've met some who really wanted to help me.

Despite that, therapists won't give you back a substance which he/she knows you'll use to kill yourself. Put yourself in their position. If they give it back and you actually use it, they basically assisted you since they knew why you wanted them to hand it over. Their license would be immediately suspended/revoked and their career would be ruined if people find out, they might even face criminal charges. It takes many, many years of hard work to become a psychiatrist. Would you risk your career just like that?

Although it certainly was wrong of that therapist to promise you to give it back. That was just a lie to let you hand it over. This indeed causes you to not trust them anymore. I've had similar experiences, unfortunately.
I've been working with him for quite a long time now and he has helped me with so much more than just coping skills and talking through trauma. I do believe that it can work if I'm willing to put in the effort myself.
I think it was just my go-to behavior to overreact. If I put myself in his shoes, I wouldn't want to ruin the life I had built for myself over this either. I do hope that I can get past this and trust him again (I've agreed to meet with him next week).
 
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HopelessFight

Warlock
Jan 31, 2021
741
I've been working with him for quite a long time now and he has helped me with so much more than just coping skills and talking through trauma. I do believe that it can work if I'm willing to put in the effort myself.
I think it was just my go-to behavior to overreact. If I put myself in his shoes, I wouldn't want to ruin the life I had built for myself over this either. I do hope that I can get past this and trust him again (I've agreed to meet with him next week).
Yes, I think you should have a talk with him and explain how it makes you feel him betraying your trust. There's a lot of therapist hate on this forum, simply because many people (and that includes me) have very bad experiences with therapists. But there are also many with good intentions. They're not cops, whatever people may be saying here.
 
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MyStateKilledMe

Arcanist
Apr 23, 2020
463
I'm dismayed how many pro-therapy shills are on this thread! :angry: Are we getting infiltrated? :ohhhh: Think about it: therapists are trained NOT TO HELP YOU. Namely, not to give you advice of any kind. So let's say you tell your therapist about how your family is emotionally abusing you, and you want to learn how to make the abuse stop. Well, guess what! All you'll get is a bunch of empathy noises. You'll be lucky if you get an interjection out of those bags of filth, let alone a full sentence. Or if you do get a full sentence, it'll be a repetition of what you just told them (which they refer to as "reflecting", and claim it to be oh-so-very-helpful), nothing you don't already know. And it's usually accompanied by a smirk and/or laughter. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP?!!

Hey, therapists on this site, you're barking up the wrong tree. You're in the enemy territory, and will be treated like an enemy. We don't want your kind here. We WILL report your posts and get you banned right away! Mark my words!
 
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sorella santini

sorella santini

Member
Jan 19, 2021
87
This is why I am not in therapy. I'd have to lie- so it would be a huge waste of everyone's time. In general I do think therapy can be beneficial.

It's unfortunate that your therapist lied to you. For me personally there would be no way forward with them after lying to me.
 
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EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
I'm dismayed how many pro-therapy shills are on this thread! :angry: Are we getting infiltrated? :ohhhh: Think about it: therapists are trained NOT TO HELP YOU. Namely, not to give you advice of any kind. So let's say you tell your therapist about how your family is emotionally abusing you, and you want to learn how to make the abuse stop. Well, guess what! All you'll get is a bunch of empathy noises. You'll be lucky if you get an interjection out of those bags of filth, let alone a full sentence. Or if you do get a full sentence, it'll be a repetition of what you just told them (which they refer to as "reflecting", and claim it to be oh-so-very-helpful), nothing you don't already know. And it's usually accompanied by a smirk and/or laughter. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP?!!

Hey, therapists on this site, you're barking up the wrong tree. You're in the enemy territory, and will be treated like an enemy. We don't want your kind here. We WILL report your posts and get you banned right away! Mark my words!

I'm only against coercive therapy as it's extremely harmful which unfortunately seems to be how a majority of therapists practice.

I do agree that the self help approach that many of them use is a complete waste of time for people that have problems like on this forum. They also cost too much and give little to nothing in return. I personally expect these people to help address my trauma but all they can do is work off guesswork while I still have to go back home to the people that traumatized me.

You can google mindfulness, deep breathing, and have fake positive regard playing on youtube for free so what's the point if they can neither provide a change to your living situation nor address the biological trauma symptoms from the fight, flight, freeze response? It'd be like going to a doctor for third degree burns and they go tell you to buy bandaids from your local pharmacy, what's the point?

People of course should judge the efficacy of therapy for themselves though but I've personally seen and read enough to know that they have nothing for me.
 
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http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
I'm sorry this happened to you. I think the "mistake" was that the therapist offered to keep the SN in the first place and not informing you that he has to report you as soon as he gives it back to you. This is just non-transparent and dishonest imo, even though he is probably legally required to do so. Here, therapists don't report you, so perhaps my view is a bit too naive.

I think your therapist shouldn't have taken your SN because it was probably foreseeable to him that he would not give it back to you (without reporting you). This dishonesty has led to disrupting the therapeutic relationship. This should have been clear to him and he should have told you the truth/the consequences from the beginning.

My therapist once gave me an ultimatum to pause/end therapy if I didn't dispose of my "suicide equipment". I did, but bought a new ticket afterwards, and this time I'm hiding it because I was / am afraid of the consequences we never talked about and - in my view and case - it's pointless to tell them the truth. I don't recommend that if you're still hanging on to life.

I think your therapist should have been more honest about this and offer you alternatives (than reporting). What do you plan to do now? If you still trust him and haven't completely given up, maybe you could talk about how you feel and what you think? If I were you, I would ask why he didn't explain the consequences (reporting) from the beginning.
 
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HopelessFight

Warlock
Jan 31, 2021
741
I'm dismayed how many pro-therapy shills are on this thread! :angry: Are we getting infiltrated? :ohhhh: Think about it: therapists are trained NOT TO HELP YOU. Namely, not to give you advice of any kind. So let's say you tell your therapist about how your family is emotionally abusing you, and you want to learn how to make the abuse stop. Well, guess what! All you'll get is a bunch of empathy noises. You'll be lucky if you get an interjection out of those bags of filth, let alone a full sentence. Or if you do get a full sentence, it'll be a repetition of what you just told them (which they refer to as "reflecting", and claim it to be oh-so-very-helpful), nothing you don't already know. And it's usually accompanied by a smirk and/or laughter. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP?!!

Hey, therapists on this site, you're barking up the wrong tree. You're in the enemy territory, and will be treated like an enemy. We don't want your kind here. We WILL report your posts and get you banned right away! Mark my words!
I assume you are referring to my post where I made a nuanced statement about psychiatrists and therapy?

it's very simple: there are good therapists, there are bad therapists. There are many kind of therapies available. Some work well for some people, some don't. For some people, not a single therapy works. Therapists are trained not to help you? What kind of nonsense is that?

Feel free to report me and get me banned for this statement. This is a pro-choice forum, that includes the choice to try treatment.
 
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