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Denise

Member
Oct 24, 2018
55
Hi,
I'm new to this site but came here to get info on carbon monoxide. I ended up joining because I wanted to talk to others who understand that it's a personal choice if we don't want to be here.

I've had both physical and mental health problems for years and it's just getting worse. Social Security keeps denying me so I have no income. I've been living with my mom for years and she supported me. I always swore I wouldn't do anything while she was alive because it would've killed her. I'm all she had left.

Well last September she passed away. The pain of losing her is unbearable. I have no income and basically no place to go. I rarely get out because of my health so my life consists of watching tv all day. That's no way to live. I'm lonely and miss my mom to the point of feeling physically sick at times and have no real place to go. I have a friend I see once a week but other than that I'm alone 24/7.

I just need to share my story about my plans and feel supported. I plan on using CO method in my bathroom. I'm scared it won't work and I'll end up in the psych ward. I'm going to use 2 kg of charcoal but put it in the bathroom after the flames go out. I'm afraid of letting it burn down too much and then it not being effective. I've read of people's failed attempts and wonder if waiting too long is the cause. But I'm afraid I won't fall asleep and the smoke will be too much. I plan on taking benzos and alcohol to help with falling asleep.

I am in so much emotional pain right now and just need some support and understanding. I'm also terrified of failing.
 
invisiblycrippled

invisiblycrippled

Temporary solutions to a permanent problem.
Oct 18, 2018
85
The fact that you not getting the benefits you are entitled to play a big part in you having to kill yourself is an absolute disgrace. Shame on a society that lets this happen. This is basically murder by neglect.

I'm severely chronically ill myself and had to battle for years to get my disability pension.

You have my full sympathy and hope you at least find your peace.

Consider using a tent, even if used indoors. And please take precautions to protect innocent people from getting hurt by the CO.

Regarding the smoke, you should definitely wait until it stops smoking. The majority of the CO production takes place after the initial burning phase. Inhaling smoke isn't peaceful at all, and just a little smoke can be a lot in an enclosed space. I have smoked up my whole apartment more than once after letting just a little bit of material (for example a small potato in the microwave) burn up. It can happen very quickly and is very unpleasant. The smell is very distinctive, can be noticed in very low concentrations, and raises alarm.
 
D

Denise

Member
Oct 24, 2018
55
The fact that you not getting the benefits you are entitled to play a big part in you having to kill yourself is an absolute disgrace. Shame on a society that lets this happen. This is basically murder by neglect.

I'm severely chronically ill myself and had to battle for years to get my disability pension.

You have my full sympathy and hope you at least find your peace.

Consider using a tent, even if used indoors. And please take precautions to protect innocent people from getting hurt by the CO.

Regarding the smoke, you should definitely wait until it stops smoking. The majority of the CO production takes place after the initial burning phase. Inhaling smoke isn't peaceful at all, and just a little smoke can be a lot in an enclosed space. I have smoked up my whole apartment more than once after letting just a little bit of material (for example a small potato in the microwave) burn up. It can happen very quickly and is very unpleasant. The smell is very distinctive, can be noticed in very low concentrations, and raises alarm.
Thank you. How do I hide the smoke and how long does the charcoal take to stop smoking?
 
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invisiblycrippled

invisiblycrippled

Temporary solutions to a permanent problem.
Oct 18, 2018
85
Thank you. How do I hide the smoke and how long does the charcoal take to stop smoking?
You need to light it outside and wait until it stops smoking before taking it inside.

From what I read, it can take 45-60 minutes. Dani Paradox confirmed this recently after an attempt he had to stop due to reasons unrelated to the method per se. He also said the charcoal burns for very, very long, so you have plenty of time.
 
D

Denise

Member
Oct 24, 2018
55
I've burned 3 briquettes and barely any smoke. Is that normal? I'm using Kingsford Match Light. No need for lighter fluid or chimney.
 
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Lady black

Lady black

35 male, central Europe, German speaking
Oct 22, 2018
1,192
I don´t think so, that it´s possible to disconnect it so easy, cause it´s a safety part. if it´s just a smoke detector with a battery you could try to remove the battery
 
D

Denise

Member
Oct 24, 2018
55
You need to light it outside and wait until it stops smoking before taking it inside.

From what I read, it can take 45-60 minutes. Dani Paradox confirmed this recently after an attempt he had to stop due to reasons unrelated to the method per se. He also said the charcoal burns for very, very long, so you have plenty of time.
I've been following his story.
 
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Lady black

Lady black

35 male, central Europe, German speaking
Oct 22, 2018
1,192
I hope this will work. maybe you should try it out before trying to end your life. Not that you will be found.
 
Last edited:

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