Story My story without a light at the end of the tunnel

[pocket7]

I'm tired of my life. My illness (schizoaffective disorder, manic type) has destroyed my life completely. I lost my job, lost my apartment, lost friendships. Because when I go crazy, I always become prolific texting machine, ruining all the relationships. 1 year ago my life was perfect. I thought that I had won the the battle against my illness. But at the end of last year I got hospitalized. And this spring got hospitalized again. Now I was forced to move in with my parents (I'm 30), as always lost everything I had. I would give everything I have to get rid of my disorder. Now I have to use strong medicine (haloperidol) for idk how long and I'm like a vegetable right now. My life has been reset. Like when you reinstall windows, all the files are lost. So does my life has been reset, losing all my achievements into abyss. I think I will order SN and CBT asap, but I couldn't find any source in Google. I'm from eastern Europe. But I hope maybe someone will help me with that when I unlock PM's.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be awful what you've been through, I find it so incredibly cruel how people suffer so much in this existence without the option of a straightforward way to just die in peace. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.