A lot of what you described sounds very similar to what I had been dealing with—an incredibly toxic relationship with my own mother, being an adult but still living under their roof because I hadn't been able to work due to my mental health (living as a hikikomori). She got so frustrated and wanted me out of the house as well because she felt that I was being lazy, her constantly complaining to other family members that she couldn't stand living with me any longer. Like you, I'm afraid of living on my own because I never learned anything related to living independently and don't know who to learn it from (I guess my option would be to google everything)...
At one point I stopped caring because I was certain that I was going to CTB and felt at peace, enjoying what I thought were my last days, ordering a crap load of junk food (oreos, pringles, malt balls, cakes, etc.) secretly through Instacart with whatever savings I had left from my previous job that only lasted a couple months so that I could enjoy the taste (we had very strict diet where no junk foods were allowed which I guess where my craving came from) while I watched YouTube videos and dramas online. After I realized that I couldn't go through with CTB, my heart plummeted and I was staring at a bleak future of myself living out on the streets, because I wasn't able to get SSDI, which would've been my next hope of just living off of minimal income without having to work.
Because I know that I don't have the courage to CTB (honestly so envious of everyone who's been successful and at peace now), I felt I had no other options but to find work for myself. Spent a ton of time looking through job searching sites to see if I could find any positions nearby that seem somewhat tolerable... and I think reading WebToon comics and watching dramas that involved the main characters balancing their work and life (or any characters that lived a relatable life) gave me somewhat of a motivation to want to try living like them... but anyway, I found a job that I
thought I would find somewhat fitting to my taste—spent a lot of time editing my resume and cover letter through Canva (to make it look nice) and applied hoping that they won't ask for references or about my multiple long gap years between jobs. I learned as much as I could about their company, faked my confidence during the interview, and miraculously they didn't ask about my gap years or for references so I thought I had to take this opportunity whether I wanted to or not because my next job options might not be so lenient.
I now work, the oldest of the team members working there, so it's kind of embarrassing because all the younger ones are saying that this job is not worth staying long-term and that they're all going to move onto something better while my plan is to stay here for as long as I can... I only work part-time, but it's looking like it's going to become full-time soon, as team members are quitting for the above reason. The job itself is actually not as great as I thought it would be, which was really disappointing, but again, I feel like at this time I don't have much of a choice anymore. I'm going to have to endure through all my stupid mistakes, embarrassments, and just looking like a plain noob in front of important customers for a while until I get better or until I decide I can't do it any longer. But I do feel a spark of gladness when I'm able to do even simple gestures of kindness toward customers (like opening the door for them) and hearing them thanking me, or if I have a short, but pleasant exchange with a coworker from a different department.
Still living under parent's roof because rent is impossible around here (not to mention idk if or how long I'll be staying at this job... it'll really depend on my performance and stress tolerance), but now my mother's all calmed down because I'm trying, and she's asking me all sorts of questions regarding my work out of curiosity, which sounds cute, but actually annoys me because I still remember her as the person who wanted to get rid of me when I was at my worst. I came to the conclusion that my mother and I were just not meant to have any kind of special relationship, so aside from important questions that's replied with brief answers, I don't exchange any small talk or conversations with her. I live my life and she lives hers, nosing into other people's business instead. She's still keeping track of every item that I purchase for myself though, which is annoying. If rent was more affordable or if I was paid more, I'd definitely move out in a heartbeat. I wish I at least had an opportunity like yours, where you can live in a separate flat, even if it's still owned by your mother, or the country house. Sounds nice to me anyway :) hang in there, sending you a virtual hug and a pat on the back.
TL;DR—Experienced/experiencing similar situation. Considered CTB, couldn't go through with it. Made effort to find a job even though it ended up not being enjoyable. Still live with parents, but they calmed down because I'm trying. Relationship with mother is unsalvageable IMO. I'm living my life, ignoring her attempts to nose into my life, and she's living hers, even under the same roof. Hoping to save enough to move out eventually, but I can't see that happening anytime soon with rent prices here...
Sorry for the novel, I guess I had a lot to get off my chest too
* after rereading my post, it might come across to some readers that I was indeed just lazy because I was eventually able to get a job—this was the result of desperation after realizing that I'm stuck on this Earth with no way out. It's really a f*** everything attitude and throwing myself out into the middle of the ocean (out of comfort zone) to avoid future homelessness. In no way was I in a condition where I was able to work or socialize just a couple of weeks ago. I guess this is SI kicking in for me. So yeah, it's a HUGE change and I dread the thought of going back to work the next several days 
