It's just annoying because she says that I'm a burden on her back yet she's the one who brought me into existence. I never even wanted to exist at all. I'm in this world purely due to her selfish reasons
She wants me to go to these autism career support services and to get a job and eventually become independent. She says that I'm not her responsibility anymore, and that she has no legal obligation or responsibility to continue taking care of me. She wants me to be on my own someday, probably sometime soon
It's a toxic and vicious cycle. It's good that I'll be the last generation
Oh my god! I am so sorry you are being treated like this by your own mother. I wish you a durable peace sooner rather than suffering from people like this.. I don't think I'll be able to survive for one minute in an environment like that. That is no way to talk to someone already facing difficulties from a condition that they were born with and came about due to no fault of their own
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That's . . . awful, and I'm sorry you're in this situation. The relationship is so strained at this point, something is going to have to give.
Okay. Have you two ever sincerely discussed what you feel, think and need?
No, I don't think we have. The weird thing is that she'd be okay with me dying though. She said that she would give me money for VAD/MAiD, and that I don't actually want to die, I'm just lazy (because I haven't ctb yet). I told her that dying was hard and she said that everything is hard. She said that if I actually want to die, then I should just go die. She wants me to get off of her back because she doesn't want to support me forever. She says that she can't imagine the rest of her life like this (me living off of her)
I went away for college, but apart from that, I've always been with my mom. I've also lived with my relatives in China for one summer. It was just me with them, my mom and sister didn't go. I've also gone on hiking trips because of this program (DofE aka International Award) and did a cooking program in England, but it was only for like a week lol
She may think that, but she's wrong. You're her child who has been with her for many years. If you died, no matter what she says now or what she thinks is logical, she would feel an emptiness and sadness that we can't understand. It's evolution telling mothers either (1) don't let this happen to any other kids you have, and/or (2) you done fucked up, so be too sad to have more kids because you're just getting in the way.
I liked living with my relatives. The cooking program was to get the gold award for the DofE
Then maybe what you need is to not live with your parents. I know that is scary and aligns with what your mom wants, but there's at least some evidence we have that you are less miserable when not living with them.
I guess so
I'm scared of being independent though. I don't want to be on my own. By the way, a while back, my mom said that I should go to live in our other apartment (which is empty, no one lives there) to learn independent living and how to be self-sufficient. I should have taken her up on that offer. It's much better than going to a group home (which is what my psychiatrist suggested)
