Venting My mental illness is turning me into a bad person.

[MoralApathy]

Something hurts me, I cry out for help, people just hear what they want to hear and make it about them. I try support others, they think I'm being fake and performative or not doing enough. I try to figure things out myself, and I obviously fail because I'm literally mentally ill. I try to get "professional" help and they sit there, listen, offer nothing, and then charge me a fucking mortgage. I finally, FINALLY get something that makes me feel seen and valid, and it gets infiltrated, and reconstructed until it's unrecognizable. I'm not going into specifics. No one's going to listen. But I'm tired of screaming into the void and talking to fucking brick walls whenever I feel small or inadequate. I always had an inferiority complex and never felt like I was enough. But this world, and this society has failed me. I can't trust ANYTHING anymore. And I KNOW it's a me problem. But there's literally nothing I can do to fix it. So I won't. Call it learned helplessness. But I will no longer regret or apologize for anything. If trauma can't be prevented, then fuck trying to "heal" it. I'll just death with it as best as I can. By being an asshole.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Something hurts me, I cry out for help, people just hear what they want to hear and make it about them. I try support others, they think I'm being fake and performative or not doing enough. I try to figure things out myself, and I obviously fail because I'm literally mentally ill. I try to get "professional" help and they sit there, listen, offer nothing, and then charge me a fucking mortgage. I finally, FINALLY get something that makes me feel seen and valid, and it gets infiltrated, and reconstructed until it's unrecognizable. I'm not going into specifics. No one's going to listen. But I'm tired of screaming into the void and talking to fucking brick walls whenever I feel small or inadequate. I always had an inferiority complex and never felt like I was enough. But this world, and this society has failed me. I can't trust ANYTHING anymore. And I KNOW it's a me problem. But there's literally nothing I can do to fix it. So I won't. Call it learned helplessness. But I will no longer regret or apologize for anything. If trauma can't be prevented, then fuck trying to "heal" it. I'll just death with it as best as I can. By being an asshole.

My bro. Fuck the world, fuck people.
Most people are selfish pieces of shit who don't care about others. They are like dogs wagging their tail when you have a bone with you that they can get from you . If you don't have a bone, they can bark you or even bite you..

Don't bother about people..
And these therapists also suck..
Most of them are just fooling around..
They charge hefty fees and give back no results at all.

So, think about yourself and your life while you are here.

Besides, you are home at SaSu
We care
So feel free to talk about anything that comes to your mind and heart . We listen without any judgement or discrimination. We are all in the same boat
And you are not a bad person if you are being yourself!!!
A good life is your fucking right!!!!

 

[iguazo falls]

i feel u, recently that has been my attitude too. not all of it is great like i want to have less volatile emotions towards people i care about but honestly for the rest of society you realise thats how normal people function is they don't have to microanalyse every bit about themselves and they do snarky shit 24/7 to get ahead and it works. they build complexes and deflections to get on with their days without always realising it. and well it works to survive. anger is more preferable to feeling defeated to survive. wishing u the best.