musingsofaghost
i think, therefore i am
- Apr 3, 2025
- 38
I feel like all I do on here is vent. I am so sorry. To make things clear, my job isn't the main reason why I want to CTB. (Explaining the reason why is never linear for me and I always crack before I can do so. I will one day, hopefully. At least to get my message across.) But it is sure as hell making things WAY worse and makes me want to advance my planned date so, so, so, badly. I work in customer service and today I had a relatively nasty encounter with a customer who was trying to return the product claiming it was unauthentic. I look down at his hands and I realise this guy was recording me. The entire. Fucking. TIME. Without my consent mind you. (Doing this is illegal in my country.) I told him I did not give consent to be recorded, to which he denied doing. WTF. In the end he admitted it, and our security guard asked him to delete it, but we never saw him actually do so. So he most definitely still has me on video. Having my face and voice in a complete stranger's hands makes me disgusted. It's like my fate is in someone else's hands. It makes me question if I said or did anything in that encounter which can be twisted into oblivion and make me lose my job. (Which I hate, but I need more than anything right now. Otherwise I can't pay for the components that will finally free me of this life. Real funny, huh?) If I lose this job I will lose my means to have a peaceful CTB. God, I hate how life makes peace so hard for us all. Tranquility should be easy, not whatever the hell this is. Anyways, this is the end of my TED Talk. Thank you.
