Venting My Hopelessness

[ankawannadie]

No matter what I do for my skin nothing gets better. Did nothing to it. It continues to get worse. Put creams on it. It continues to deteriorate. It's deteriorating everyday and I'm slowly looking like a skeleton with holes in my face. I have no more fat in my cheeks. My face is gone and likely gone forever.
I'm supposed to go to school in 2 weeks. I don't think I can go outside looking like this. I'm going to jump onto the subway and kill myself or drop myself from a high spot in public. I'm going to kill myself because no one thinks I will. They all think I'm overreacting. They don't know what I see everyday. They think that magical surgeries are going to just bring everything back to normal. I'm absolutely fucked and I know it.
My parents brought me into this world for no fucking reason. I've suffered for so long but now I can't take it anymore. It doesn't matter if my parents work hard everyday and if they made sacrifices for me. What was the point in giving birth to me? My limbs feel like they're going to explode. Everyday is a nightmare and every dream is one too.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is it a medical condition that affects your face? I'm sure it's so frustrating to hear platitudes and empty reassurance that everything will work out. People are dismissive of "shallow" reasons for ctb, but usually those people are average or above average in looks and don't understand that you often get treated like shit when you're unattractive. It hurts. I'm so sorry.

 

[ankawannadie]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is it a medical condition that affects your face? I'm sure it's so frustrating to hear platitudes and empty reassurance that everything will work out. People are dismissive of "shallow" reasons for ctb, but usually those people are average or above average in looks and don't understand that you often get treated like shit when you're unattractive. It hurts. I'm so sorry.

It's likely permanent scarring.

 

[RoseGirl]

uhm like ance or like is ur body just like melting or something

 

[Alexandra_]

I am very sorry that in this life you experience a lot of suffering there. I understand you well and sympathize with you. I also regret my birth. In my life I have seen only suffering and nothing else