My friend want to commit suicide soon because their partner broke up with them and I don’t know how to react

[TimeHasCome6]

My freind just got broke up with and wants to commit suicide. They where already suicidal, but they decided to ctb because of this. I am a selfish person because I don't want them to leave, but I also believe in pro-choice. I also feel their reason is immature but I don't know what to do as a good friend. What do you guys think? I'm freaking out and I didn't know where to post this so it's on suicide discussion.

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

I think you're right to be honest. I think giving an ex the power of life and death is the sign of erratic and potentially knee jerk reasoning at the height of passion and emotion.

Just be careful not to scold them, be condescending or be overtly critical of the reasoning. You want to softly prod them and hopefully awaken them to your point of view. Not be seen as a lecturer, because once you take that position they will cast you within that role. So mostly it's probably just better to be there for them initially, while calmly questioning their thought processes as they state them and giving them an alternate analysis, and hopefully time and healing will help you out.

 

[TimeHasCome6]

I'm nervous e anything and everything I say will come across as judgy. I really want to help but I'm not very good at getting a correct tone across over text and they're on their way to New Zealand rn.

 

[missingpeace]

Just try to distract her from the memory of her ex as much as possible, the wounds might be raw that's why she feels like that. Get her involved in activities, visit places with her, encourage her to try new things, if her mind diverts to her ex-boyfriend remind her of his flaws and what was shit about the relationship. Over time, hopefully she will get over the break-up. You can only do so much as a friend, rest is all upto her, but at least you tried..

 

[SexyIncél]

On this forum, there's an increasing opinion that CTBs like this are irrational. But I think it makes total sense. Look for the logic, regardless what you feel about it.

What's their exact reason for CTB? Vital: it dictates possible solutions. For example, one possibility is you help them get a better companion. Or at least the same level. Then upon getting a companion, they should use the mental health boost to become stronger. Of course, I don't know if this solution resonates with them. Probe them to see what sort of solutions they want.

 

[TimeHasCome6]

Okay. Thank you so much for the advice.

 

[azalea087]

My freind just got broke up with and wants to commit suicide. They where already suicidal, but they decided to ctb because of this. I am a selfish person because I don't want them to leave, but I also believe in pro-choice. I also feel their reason is immature but I don't know what to do as a good friend. What do you guys think? I'm freaking out and I didn't know where to post this so it's on suicide discussion.

the timing on this thread is crazy lol me and my gf just broke up like 20 minutes ago
i do think its kinda out of the blue but do help them however you can

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

My freind just got broke up with and wants to commit suicide. They where already suicidal, but they decided to ctb because of this. I am a selfish person because I don't want them to leave, but I also believe in pro-choice. I also feel their reason is immature but I don't know what to do as a good friend. What do you guys think? I'm freaking out and I didn't know where to post this so it's on suicide discussion.

My advice is be supportive, offer to let them vent about it and stuff like that. Unfortunately there's not much to do here, they make their own decisions. If you can help, try, but if they do CTB, don't feel bad, it's what they wanted and you couldn't stop that even if you wanted to. :)

 

[FuneralCry]

If they wish to die then that is their decision and other people have no right to interfere with this. It's not your place to say that somebody else shouldn't ctb, only they can decide and it's a personal decision as to when to leave this world. Only they are the ones who are experiencing their life after all, and I think that it's insensitive to label someone's desire to die as being "immature". Suicide is a human right that doesn't even need a reason in the first place. You might see life as being valuable with suicide being the absolute last resort, but it doesn't give you the right to force your beliefs onto other people.

 

[exhaustedanonymous]

As someone with bpd, my partner leaving was also my trigger (it ended six weeks ago). I've heard everything that people are saying ("immature, not that bad, will go away after some time") & honestly? It makes me want to commit even more. Saying that it's not a valid reason to want to CTB just means that I feel even worse about it being able to destroy my world like this & I know it's irrational to feel so strongly about it but my brain can't help it. I've tried to explain this before but I didn't do so well so I doubt I'll really be able to help you understand but just.. telling them it's not a good enough reason to die can just make them want to leave faster.

 

[TimeHasCome6]

I know. That's why I want to be careful. I just want to help. I'm so sorry if this thread triggered you.