Venting My dad shouted at me for being mentally ill

[sweetsweetsuicide]

While I was in the car he started going off about my self harm, eating habits and just being mentally unwell. He said things like "just fucking grow up already". He told me that I'm fucking up my future and I'm being stupid. I burst into tears immediately, then he made fun of me and told me to stop feeling sorry for myself

As soon as I got home I started cutting myself. I'm so upset. He was the only person that I felt like cared about me, but he clearly hates me now. I can't go to my mum because she physically abused me when I was a child, so I have noone to love or care about me.

I want to completely dissappear. I'm so ashamed of myself. I can't help but be like this, I don't want to disappoint the people around me. I wish someone cared about me truly, despite my issues.

I haven't decided on it yet, but I may kill myself over this. I'm nothing but a burden on the people around me. I have all these issues and it's just extra work for everyone, having to put up with me.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

For alot of us our struggles are too much that we just cant function, there is no shame in that. Its already good enough that u are still alive and as i cant speak for the people close to you no one here will be disappointed in you no matter what u decide to do in your life.

Hope life will be easier for you and that u will decide about life or death without too much suffering

 

[WhyAmIHereHonestly]

It's hard when one of the last people you thought cared act so cold, too many of us tend to relate to this. I feel similarly, my mother is an abusive narcissist and my dad never takes it seriously and says it's overreacting.
However you're still here, and if they are cold then perhaps you aren't a burden in the first place. You're just you, and if they can't accept you have issues that's on them. I understand the feeling, and my brain hurts from all the times I tried to hang myself. But I hope you come to a reasonable decision and you don't suffer anymore.

 

[sanrioslayer]

Happens to the best of us sorry you have to deal with this. My solution for myself is to get up finish school get a job and move as far away as i possibly fucking can from my parents, hoping my life will be better then

 

[wilderwein]

I have a similar situation, my mom doesn't know that I want ctb but she sees my condition (I've lost a lot of weight, I don't have the energy to do anything and suffering, and they don't even understand that calling depression), and she started to judge me in rude way, which is not like her. She even said things that weren't true. This continued for a long time, and I cried a lot because of it and wanted to leave everyone even more. But then I realized that my family was just worried about me, they couldn't express it in a different way. I remembered how they've always taken care of me, all my life. I realized that they're also hurting to see me like this, and also they have own problems too, but they can't explain it and talk in the right way. I don't know your relationship with your family, but maybe you're going through the same thing..

 

[Forever Sleep]

It feels frightening when the person you thought was in your corner shows other sides of themselves. I'm not sure the 'tough love' approach works on people who are struggling more severely. Maybe when we are stronger, we can take a kick up the arse but when we are already so down, it likely does just cause us to want to isolate, avoid them and even escape. I'm sorry.

 

[sanctionedusage]

most parents are overgrown children. when they're confronted with something that deeply upsets them, they lash out in frustration like toddlers throwing tantrums with no concept of consequences. that's why they start saying random shit that isn't even true during these types of outbursts, just spewing nonsense. even the adults you regard as the most mature just can't hold it together when it comes to their own children. i don't think it has anything to do with you, and more so how he sees himself as a result of his kid suffering endlessly and him being powerless to do anything about it. i don't say that to excuse or pity him but to hopefully take the blame off yourself. people are disgusting, and it seems like parents have some epigenetic, paradoxical primate syndrome that causes them to want to destroy their own offspring in an effort to help them. i guarantee you your dad would still be crying like a bitch if you ctb'd tonight.