Method My dad has a firearm but I don't have the suitable bullet

[theEnemy]

I've been thinking of ctb for a long while. Many people I know suggest me to seek professional help but I don't want to do that because I don't want to heal. I have thought of many different methods. But so far, the methods that best suit me are hanging, jumping from a high place, firearm and a train wreck. There were also other methods I found doable, but I have to wait longer for them.

I tried to buy a rope before but they didn't want to sell it to me (also I don't think that I could find a fixed point to secure the rope in my house). I live in a big city, so it is easy to find a high place to jump off. But they are usually so hard to get there (like hotel roofs, etc.). I may use bridges but it is prohibited to walk on them so I need a license (which I can't have). Then there are train wrecks. I am afraid that it wouldn't be enough.

I have come to try firearms after realising that other methods were not as doable. My father has a semi-automatic pistol for 9mm. But unfortunately, we don't have the suitable bullet for it in the house. I don't know where I can purchase it (illegally). Some guy suggested me to build my own barrel and use metallic balls as bullets. I am not sure if it would work.