Venting My best friend died and it’s all my fault

[scary]

My cat passed away today and I feel like my whole world has officially crashed and burned right in front of me. I've never experienced losing a pet before, but I feel like his death is entirely my fault. I knew he was diagnosed with asthma and just assumed him coughing was just that, nothing more, but he was slowly dying right in front of me and I didn't do anything about it. I don't even know what the hell he even died from because by the time I finally took him to the vet after I found him collapsed by the front door he was already gone in his carrier while I was driving.

He was only 7 years old and I completely failed him. Today doesn't feel real, I can't even begin to imagine how much pain he was in that whole time. I feel like this is just a sign from god for me to finally ctb, I've been through so many awful things in my life but I think this is just the straw that broke the camels back. He was so close to me and he was the only thing I had, and in his last moments I showed him that I didn't care. I want to just finally build up the courage to ctb so I can see him again, even if it's for a second.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

You sound like a really caring pet owner, if nothing else, please don't blame yourself.

 

[heatnormal]

he was slowly dying right in front of me and I didn't do anything about it.

i understand you more than i would like, really. you didn't have any malicious intent. your pet had previously been diagnosed with asthma, so you didn't think much of it. cats hide their symptoms well; when they stop, it's usually too late. don't blame yourself; nothing good ever comes from it.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm so sorry you lost your kitty. Don't blame yourself for his death. You are not a medical professional, and you couldn't have known that his coughing meant anything more than his asthma. You've obviously were going through a very difficult time while he was alive; but you loved him, and I'm sure he knew.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

My cat passed away today and I feel like my whole world has officially crashed and burned right in front of me. I've never experienced losing a pet before, but I feel like his death is entirely my fault. I knew he was diagnosed with asthma and just assumed him coughing was just that, nothing more, but he was slowly dying right in front of me and I didn't do anything about it. I don't even know what the hell he even died from because by the time I finally took him to the vet after I found him collapsed by the front door he was already gone in his carrier while I was driving.

He was only 7 years old and I completely failed him. Today doesn't feel real, I can't even begin to imagine how much pain he was in that whole time. I feel like this is just a sign from god for me to finally ctb, I've been through so many awful things in my life but I think this is just the straw that broke the camels back. He was so close to me and he was the only thing I had, and in his last moments I showed him that I didn't care. I want to just finally build up the courage to ctb so I can see him again, even if it's for a second.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think pet deaths are sometimes harder than human deaths.

That being said, let me tell you something about cats:

Cats do their darndest to hide when they don't feel good because they are hardwired to be that way because that's how they survived in the wild before we bred and domesticated them into house cats. A lot of people lose their cats because they don't let on that they aren't feeling great until it's almost too late. And cats go downhill really quickly compared to dogs from something as simple as a respiratory illness, a UTI, or even simple vomiting. It's just the way cats are designed for some reason. Sure they got a noodle bod and great balance and all that jazz but when it comes to sickness, this is how they are.

A lot of pet owners just simply don't know this about felines. Sadly, this is very common. It's not the owners fault really unless they were like starving or hurting the cat on purpose. And it doesn't sound like you were doing that.

Massive hugs to you!

 

[fuzzypeach]

im so sorry for your loss