Venting Moving to Florida was a mistake

[Beeko]

I recently moved to Florida from South Africa for my Husband and I wish I could say that it made me feel better. It didn't.

Yes closing the distance after a long while was nice (6 years marriage, 10 years yesterday since dating, the stereotypical highschool sweetheart trope I guess). But I find myself more miserable than ever.

I just don't fit in here and as much as I like my husband he bulldozes every conversation doesn't introduce me to anyone and overall I end up feeling lonely. In South Africa I had friends who I could see occasionally or I could just speak too but now its so hard to keep in contact with them due to the 7 hour difference in timezones.

It's just really tough and the thoughts to CTB which have always been there are just getting worse. All I do is cook my husband food, lunches and then clean our tiny apartment. Its so mind numbing. I know I am more fortunate than others but I don't even feel like my husband loves me lmao. Its just like I'm convenient to keep around and "easy".

I guess its my fault cause I tend to be on the more skittish sides of things and I rarely speak out on anything so for that I can't blame anyone but myself but its just not in my nature to be the type to 'bitch and moan or nag' constantly. Then there comes the issue of CTB.

I don't want him to deal with that or finding my body? Do I just CTB in a way my body doesn't get found? I don't even know if that makes sense in the situation I am in. I wish I could go back to SA and CTB there but that's not on the cards anymore. I just wish I wasn't so isolated.

 

[persepexa]

I feel your pain. I'm living in a foreign country where I have no quality of life too. Is there any option of moving back to South Africa?

 

[U. A.]

Sorry you're in hell.

he bulldozes every conversation doesn't introduce me to anyone

All I do is cook my husband food, lunches and then clean our tiny apartment

He sounds like a jerk. And no,

its my fault cause I tend to be on the more skittish sides of things and I rarely speak out

that's not how it works. That's even more of a reason he should take initiative to introduce you to people (assuming you want to be introduced) and make space for you in talks (ditto). It isn't fucking hard to introduce one's wife and to just ask your opinion on something as an in during conversation.

 

[martyrdom]

I'm sorry to tell you so bluntly but it sounds like your husband brought you to America to be a maid, not a wife.

 

[whywere]

I have moved around all my life, just in the Midwest of the U.S. but still I moved and YES, it is VERY tough, no joke.

HOWEVER, if I may ask, are there social groups/clubs that you could join to make new friends?

I have been all over Florida, for work, and the Suncoast (Tampa Bay area), to the Gold Coast (Miami area), to the Space Coast Jacksonville down to Cape Canaveral area) are all different, at least for me.

But still we are ALL human and yes, I am a motor mouth, I can talk to anyone anywhere, but I put myself out there, smile, say HI! and go forward.

I hope and wish with all my heart and soul that you can develop new friends and get a core group to chat and be with.

You are a warm, kind and giving spirit, your post REALLY screams those aspects so loud.

Hugs and lots of love to you, and hopefully a new group of kind and caring friends to be with.

Walter

 

[gasforme]

I have a note of all the places I've lived and I moved so much that I never really made and friends outside of jobs and those friendships disappear when you switch jobs.

Then my family encouraged me to move to an entirely new state and abandoned me here.

The thought of moving again is unbearable I've moved almost every year sometimes twice in a year for the past 14 years and I can't do it anymore.