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LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
181
fuck fuck her Im so tired of this motherfucking human being who I am inforever in debt to ruining my life trying to help me "live" by endlessly tormenting me by not leting me fucking die. I'm 18 now anyways what I do on my own damn computer isnt her buissness fuck fuck fuck why cant i die why cant i just fucking die already i wish i was never born i wish i could kill everyone who ever wronged me and then myself
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,866
I've been in therapy since like 11 and taking meds since like 13, nothing ever gets better and shit only gets worse. Quit while you're ahead type of deal
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Why r things getting worse? Toxic household? Abuse? R u autistic? Any diagnosis? What actually happened when you were 11 why you had suicidal ideation suddenly there must have been a long process before that.
 
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LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
181
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Why r things getting worse? Toxic household? Abuse? R u autistic? Any diagnosis? What actually happened when you were 11 why you had suicidal ideation suddenly there must have been a long process before that.
Ha, I'd say about all of this started when I was 9 I wish I had an answer I wish I ever understood why I was so fucked up and still am, why I never see light in anything but It doesnt help I was born with a chronic mental illness anyways
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,866
Ha, I'd say about all of this started when I was 9 I wish I had an answer I wish I ever understood why I was so fucked up and still am, why I never see light in anything but It doesnt help I was born with a chronic mental illness anyways
Is mental illness an issue among family and relatives? Maybe you've inherited bad genes. That really sucks, no doubt. And it also does not invalidate the right to die and the freedom of choice.
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
372
I feel for your pain OP if you ever want to talk about your story just now i'm here and more than happy to help if i can
 
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LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
181
Is mental illness an issue among family and relatives? Maybe you've inherited bad genes. That really sucks, no doubt. And it also does not invalidate the right to die and the freedom of choice.
Yeah, It runs in the family and I lost the genetic lottery - and on top of that I got more shit that certainly isnt genetic like BDD, BPD, ugh

not to mention my living situation, no friends, bad grades, no hobbies, etc
 
Dark Window

Dark Window

Experienced
Mar 12, 2024
282
Yeah, It runs in the family and I lost the genetic lottery - and on top of that I got more shit that certainly isnt genetic like BDD, BPD, ugh

not to mention my living situation, no friends, bad grades, no hobbies, etc
Do you have a job? Do you think living way from fam would help.
 
LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
181
Do you have a job? Do you think living way from fam would help.
despite my constant odds with them, I do love my family, and I'd be beyond lonely on my own. I just want understanding from them, but they never do
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Experienced
Mar 12, 2024
282
despite my constant odds with them, I do love my family, and I'd be beyond lonely on my own. I just want understanding from them, but they never do
You could get your own place and just visit them? Maybe it's not a case of getting rid of them just not being around them all the time?
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,265
You could get your own place and just visit them? Maybe it's not a case of getting rid of them just not being around them all the time?
That's exactly what I was going to suggest. Being in a very differnt environment might help. I can't guarantee that it will help, but there is a reasonable chance that it will.
 
Dark Window

Dark Window

Experienced
Mar 12, 2024
282
That's exactly what I was going to suggest. Being in a very differnt environment might help. I can't guarantee that it will help, but there is a reasonable chance that it will.
Yes.

I had issues with certain family members, but they repaired themselves with being on my own away from them but just visiting them once a week or so. Going out to a game or having sunday lunch.
 
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I've been in therapy since like 11 and taking meds since like 13, nothing ever gets better and shit only gets worse. Quit while you're ahead type of deal
It's the meds! if it's not helping or not getting better then stop them, "Doctors" won't listen so talk to your parents and stop them now!
Thing gonna get better then.
Good luck
 
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sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
fuck fuck her Im so tired of this motherfucking human being who I am inforever in debt to ruining my life trying to help me "live" by endlessly tormenting me by not leting me fucking die. I'm 18 now anyways what I do on my own damn computer isnt her buissness fuck fuck fuck why cant i die why cant i just fucking die already i wish i was never born i wish i could kill everyone who ever wronged me and then myself
I had contact with psychiatry since 13 and i wish someone told me to stop the meds at 18 i would not have fucked up this badly today.
So since you are 18 now stop the meds now and if the psychiatrist or your family argue with you tell them to FUCK OFF since you are 18 you are free to do what ever you want and they can't legally force you!.
The psychiatrist or doctor or what ever are gonna try to convince you alot about not stopping the "meds" simply tell them to fuck off and feed your children with the poison you feed us instead. They teached them selling and business strategies obviously lol so you need to not trust what they tell you.

You are at worst moment of your life please give this a shot and im sure things will get much better.
 
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AllMyDreams

AllMyDreams

Experienced
Dec 12, 2021
279
I had contact with psychiatry since 13 and i wish someone told me to stop the meds at 18 i would not have fucked up this badly today.
So since you are 18 now stop the meds now and if the psychiatrist or your family argue with you tell them to FUCK OFF since you are 18 you are free to do what ever you want and they can't legally force you!.
The psychiatrist or doctor or what ever are gonna try to convince you alot about not stopping the "meds" simply tell them to fuck off and feed their childrens with the poison they feed us instead.

You are at worst moment of your life please give this a shot and im sure things will get much better.
I would caution you that stopping the meds might make your situation worse. If you want to stop the meds either go back to your doctor and tell them they aren't helping or try and get a second opinion.
 
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I would caution you that stopping the meds might make your situation worse. If you want to stop the meds either go back to your doctor and tell them they aren't helping or try and get a second opinion.
This, it takes 3 months to lower doeses then finally stopping them.
If psychiatrists won't help you stopping them... google how to safely stop them...
 
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AllMyDreams

AllMyDreams

Experienced
Dec 12, 2021
279
This, it takes 3 months to lower doeses then finally stopping them.
If psychiatrists won't help you stopping them... google how to stop them...
Yeah but how do you know OP's specific medication or situation. For all we know the medications aren't perfect but without them OP might be even worse off.

I say before stopping your medication by yourself you go back to your psychiatrist, tell them they aren't helping, and ask what the effects of getting off them will be. Or get a second medical opinion as a fail-safe if they won't listen.
 
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
Yeah but how do you know OP's specific medication or situation. For all we know the medications aren't perfect but without them OP might be even worse off.

I say before stopping your medication by yourself you go back to your psychiatrist, tell them they aren't helping, and ask what the effects of getting off them will be. Or get a second medical opinion as a fail-safe if they won't listen.
All their medications is chemical lobotomy so trying other "meds" won't help op and psychiatrist learned to not help people stop medications. They gonna put op on alot of different meds like guinea pigs until OPS life is wasted and he gonna end up with CTB the only way out like me.
So if they made op wanting to CTB why bother? stop this poison!!
BTW it's alot scary and hard to CTB without lobotomy meds i wonder why! My other attempts (10+) was easy cause of this lobotomy poison.
 
AllMyDreams

AllMyDreams

Experienced
Dec 12, 2021
279
All their medications is chemical lobotomy so trying other "meds" won't help op and psychiatrist learned to not help people stop medications. They gonna put op on alot of different meds like guinea pigs until OPS life is wasted and he gonna end up with CTB the only way out like me.
So if they made op wanting to CTB why bother? stop this poison!!
BTW it's alot scary and hard to CTB without lobotomy meds i wonder why! My other attempts was easy cause of this lobotomy poison.
Totally irresponsible comment I do agree we are often over-medicating as a society but some medications can actually be helpful/necessary.
 
karmaisabitch

karmaisabitch

Specialist
Mar 25, 2024
345
You
I had contact with psychiatry since 13 and i wish someone told me to stop the meds at 18 i would not have fucked up this badly today.
So since you are 18 now stop the meds now and if the psychiatrist or your family argue with you tell them to FUCK OFF since you are 18 you are free to do what ever you want and they can't legally force you!.
The psychiatrist or doctor or what ever are gonna try to convince you alot about not stopping the "meds" simply tell them to fuck off and feed your children with the poison you feed us instead. They teached them selling and business strategies obviously lol so you need to not trust what they tell you.

You are at worst moment of your life please give this a shot and im sure things will get much better.

I'm sorry I can't help not to reply: your advice is very toxic. First if he says " fuck off" he will be put in psych unit for what they call " dangerous to self and non compliance with meds" second, you can't tell anyone to stop their medications, you are not his doctor. Please don't harm teens if it's not your area of expertise, because he is a teenager.
 
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
You


I'm sorry I can't help not to reply: your advice is very toxic. First if he says " fuck off" he will be put in psych unit for what they call " dangerous to self and non compliance with meds" second, you can't tell anyone to stop their medications, you are not his doctor. Please don't harm teens if it's not your area of expertise, because he is a teenager.
It's the meds that are "harming them" OP wan't to CTB what more harm lol? Look how desperate he is to CTB......
And if it's not psychosis or other serious diagnosis he can stop them if he wish he is free and not "teen" he is 18. And fuck off i mean in NO.
 
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karmaisabitch

karmaisabitch

Specialist
Mar 25, 2024
345
It's the meds that are "harming them" OP wan't to CTB what more harm lol? Look how desperate he is to CTB......
Ito stop their meds depending on what kind he's on will also harm him. I know from family experience that if someone approach the doctor with this attitude they will PEC the patient. I'm not saying you are wrong but with him being a teenager might affect him differently
 
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sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I agree but to stop their meds depending on what kind he's on will also harm him. I know from family experience that if someone approach the doctor with this attitude they will PEC the patient. I'm not saying you are wrong but with him being a teenager might affect him differently
I wasn't serious about telling someone or psychiatrist to fuck off or go to hell or anything else even if they totally fucked my life OP is old enough to understand that and manners.
 
Last edited:
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J

Jorms_McGander

Specialist
Oct 17, 2023
372
I'm 20 years older than you, so I'll be brief with some facts, but I'm not trying to inform any decision you make. Just things I could say from starting in a similar place and then aging for 20 more years.

Your diagnoses at your age are a huge advantage. I was diagnosed only five years ago so being able to get into treatment is a big deal.

BPD is a cool diagnosis. I have it too. It was my first one! Then other dominoes fell into place. Anyway I'm just saying, it's not a picnic but consider that you get a little bit of superpowers relative to other human beings due to being sensitive. So even if life is short, there's that.

Suicidal ideation at this age is problematic in itself. After 20 years of being vaguely suicidal for reasons I couldn't determine, I have nothing to show for my life. I'm sitting in a tiny slide-out room of my brother's trailer and it's not slid out so I have like 1 square meter of space and no electricity and I can only get internet if I wake up super early so he doesn't need the internet cable.

Yeah, it's an ethernet cable in 2024.

My own feelings about somebody suffering at your age the way I did are not related to you or your choice but they do exist so I'll make a note that it makes me feel sad for you.

My biggest worry for you is that you will not make your mind up either direction and someday you will find yourself huddled in a tiny corner of your weird brother's trailer pushing age 40 and wondering all the thoughts that plague a person like me. Don't be me... live or die. Listen to Yoda. Do or do not.
 

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