Help Methods for disabled folks?

[LilGhost]

Failed all my previous attempts mostly due to fatigue and legs problem. I can't use my legs for long, so such attempts like hanging were always failing cause I couldn't tie a knot to anchor point normally (like… you need to stand and raise your hands to tie it to smth high enough). Couldnt do partial hanging either, cause a) I don't understand how the fuck do I find a sweet spot, b) maybe my rope was to short but because I needed to lean, I had to lean forward with whole body, which is apparently an exercise too.
I don't have access to high enough places to unsure job done, nor access to SN (I am also an immigrant so I fear even if I figure how to order it without being scammed, it might have consequences on my stay in the country)
Is there any tips on how to make it less hard to ctb? Or what method might be working for those with reduced mobility? I hate the fact I have to fight to be dead. I understand that there is no way there is super easy method, but I am just desperate because all my previous attempts failed and tho I am resting from last one, I want to be able to prepare if I'll still feel shitty in a month or so

 

[booplesnoot34]

I don't think we're allowed to give advice on methods or tips for other people to CTB, but as for myself, based on my own abilities, I'm probably going to shoot myself or attach a rope to a pedestrian bridge and my neck and then jump off. I almost stepped off a window ledge 9 stories high. I'm too disabled to do a lot of things but the most lethal methods don't really require more ability than pulling a trigger. I wish I had a disability where I could just die from taking out a breathing tube or a fatal nut allergy or something, but I got the "life sucks majorly but won't kill you yet" kind of disability. If the world wasn't ableist and hostile to disabled people, maybe we'd wanna live!