neverwashere
Self sabotaging to cope with it all
- Apr 25, 2023
- 73
Instead of setting a specific date that I'm going to CBT, I thought it'd be kind of funny in a fucked up kind of way to CBT when I hit 100 messages on this website.
That way I'm "proving" to myself that I'm really dedicated to this, and every time I choose to discuss my death I'm bringing myself closer to it! Of course, I could also choose to stop posting on this website altogether before I hit 100. But then that just means that I felt like it isn't my time yet and that I didn't want to die as much as I thought I did.
Thoughts on this?
That way I'm "proving" to myself that I'm really dedicated to this, and every time I choose to discuss my death I'm bringing myself closer to it! Of course, I could also choose to stop posting on this website altogether before I hit 100. But then that just means that I felt like it isn't my time yet and that I didn't want to die as much as I thought I did.
Thoughts on this?
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