Discussion Main reason for desire to ctb) Do you hate yourself, hate the world, or both?

[lwlaiet8887]

Body is broken mind is broken

 

[username8888]

Exactly what the question sounds like.

I personally hate myself...but I kinda hate the world too though ima go with hating myself

I am just curious about the possibilities of after life. It's kind of a like an American Dream for me. It has always been.

Nowadays curiosity is the main reason for me to die painlessly. And also I want to experiment the feeling of well-made Nitrogen Gas or Sarco machine in Switzerland?

Yeah, I guess curiosity. Even though I am experimenting economical hardships, curiosity is more intense than fear for me.

1. Curiosity. I am curious about the afterlife. I am curious whether it will be eternal sleep or ideal situation for me. I am just curious about it. I guess, death is kind of like an American Dream for me.

2. Shorter the life the better. I set my goal to kill myself painlessly in Sarco or Nitrogen Gas when I become 26 years old. I want to experience the shortness and painless side of life only.

3. Human body. I am just bored of using a flesh body. I got bored of eating food, pooping and wearing clothes and such.

4. Painlessness. I want to experience total painlessness. And my guess is that after life is complete painlessness for me. Pain is an overrated biological system like body hairs. They exist but I could get by way easier.

Neither. But everthing hurts too much and I don't function properly.

I liked this reason. Honest and simple. Pragmatic.

 

[Bacon and Baseball]

one thing I know for sure is that I like myself way more than I like the world

 

[shinohara]

I guess "both", but I feel like I've learned too much about psychology (or whatever) to really "hate myself". I don't think there's anything really "wrong" with myself that requires death (for the sake of others), but I think most people would prefer it, even if they pretend to believe otherwise. The only people I would agree to die for are people I care about (only if they admit I'm a burden or something). Also, as much as I see the merit of staying optimistic, I highly doubt the human race will stay existent for much longer.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I voted "Other"

Big failure in life, terrible outlook for the future, financial issues and no suitable and for me acceptable solution is possible. I'd have too many disadvantages in any case just to keep myself alive but not a life that I'd like to live. Hence CTB is probably inevitable sooner or later.

I neither hate myself nor I hate the world it's a logic consequence to CTB when a life isn't worth to be lived anymore.

 

[IBM0000]

So, I chose other. I sure as hell hate myself BUT I also despise the system, not the world, but the oppressive capitalistic system imposed ON the world. If it weren't for capitalism, the world would be a better place to live FOR ALL. Socialist nations are the happiest ones on Earth, but they're still not good enough. Those "paradises" won't last and their social services slowly dismanteled by capitalists on top of them being fundamentally unethical since they still operate on capitalism's terms and, with unequal exchange, oppress the Global South albeit to a lesser extent than their West European, US counterparts. I believe we should DEFINTELY OPPOSE BY ALL MEANS the people who are willing to drop minimum wages, cut social services spending, privatize nationally-owned assets and do whatever it takes JUST to get a better return investment for their corporate shareholders. Those people are the real criminals and they are 1000% legal in most countries as they work within the system, for the system. So, don't feel too bad towards other people or the world but instead towards the capitalist system.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I hate people... But... I also hate myself. I just hate humanity more.

 

[Shiva_Story]

i don't hate myself nor people but i think that we are collectively lost and this system we live in is rigged, corrupt and fundamentally broken. i'm done with my karma here and refuse to live as an NPC.
i want to check out & move on

 

[MeltingBrain]

Neither. Whom do you hate if you get struck by a lightning ? I hate my unfortunate unprobable medical circumstance .

 

[FuneralCry]

I just hate existence in general, I wouldn't exactly say that I hate myself, rather I hate how I was burdened with the ability to suffer endlessly in this cruel and hellish existence.

I just don't see any value in this existence that only ever caused harm, it's an unnecessary mistake that is better off erased, only the thought of permanently ceasing to exist comforts me.

I just prefer the sound of the peace that only eternal nothingness can bring to this futile and torturous process of decaying from age, there is no benefit to such a thing, existing fills me with dread.

 

[denix66]

Entonces elegí otro. Estoy seguro de que me odio a mí mismo, PERO también desprecio el sistema, no el mundo, sino el sistema capitalista opresivo impuesto AL mundo. Si no fuera por el capitalismo, el mundo sería un lugar mejor para vivir PARA TODOS . Las naciones socialistas son las más felices de la Tierra, pero todavía no son lo suficientemente buenas. Esos "paraísos" no durarán y sus servicios sociales, lentamente desmantelados por los capitalistas, son fundamentalmente poco éticos, ya que todavía operan en los términos del capitalismo y, con un intercambio desigual, oprimen al Sur Global, aunque en menor medida que a Europa Occidental. homólogos estadounidenses. Creo que debemos OPONERNOS DEFINITIVAMENTE POR TODOS LOS MEDIOS a las personas que están dispuestas a reducir los salarios mínimos, recortar el gasto en servicios sociales, privatizar activos de propiedad nacional y hacer lo que sea necesario SÓLO para obtener un mejor retorno de la inversión para sus accionistas corporativos. Esas personas son los verdaderos criminales y son 1000% legales en la mayoría de los países ya que trabajan dentro del sistema, para el sistema. Así que no te sientas tan mal con otras personas o con el mundo, sino con el sistema capitalista.

Punto de vista perfecto del problema... Estoy totalmente de acuerdo contigo.

 

[Terranova]

Exactly what the question sounds like.

I personally hate myself...but I kinda hate the world too though ima go with hating myself

I think the world is cruel in many ways but I dont think its an uninhabitable place, for the most part I am the problem, it seems other people can just tolerate life far more than me, but if i had to pick one reason i wanna die the most it'd probably be that i am trans, and i take passing very seriously, i'm on hrt but i have no good expectations for it and if i dont pass in 3 - 5 years i will CTB, but i dont want to die, i think my death would be unfair and miserable, i dont see death as an out but a culmination of suffering and unfair ending, i am not fit for living, and i hate myself for it

 

[jinx <3]

I don't actually hate myself, the world, or much of anything, really. I mostly just want to stop hurting, but I don't begrudge the universe for its own random, arbitrary nature. Not sure how common this "I'm just content leaving here, but it was nice sometimes" take is, but I'd like to know if others feel the same way.

 

[marshmallow_mochi]

both. I hate myself for not being strong enough to face my problem but I hate the world more to how people treat each other. I feel like other peole not understanding the suffering of other and even degrade them is worse than a scum. I hate them too for being so greedy as they only care about themselves. That why I hate watching the news because I feel powerless, I feel like the society failed everyone. I though human are smart but is being smart is inherent evil if they can't even feel compassion to someone. It's just the world is too cruel that I'm so scared to even socialise to anyone. Socialising to everyone feel like I need to hide myself even if they say just be yourself, you know to yourself that they will talk behind your back. It just because of this pandemic all my close friend change that I even cut all of them. I feel so lonely. I feel like it's useless to even thrive to live as theirs is nothing for me do, I feel like I am just a baggage to my parents I hate everything. I'm scared to die but I want to just disappeared.

 

[bridgegirl]

I hate myself. And I'm in pain.. even if I didn't hate myself, I'll still be forced to live with the knowledge of mistakes I've made and all of the bad things that continually happen to me.

 

[letmejoindeath]

I hate myself so much I honestly believe I deserve to die in the most agonizing pain over the longest period of time while others watch and laugh at me.

 

[Gonnerr]

Others ; i hate every atoms that was ever created.

Nothingness = peace forever

Everything else is just pain , trouble, always wanting more, survival of the fittest , etc....

I hope everything would disappear forever.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hate myself and have since I was a young child. My views on the world, however. are complicated. The world has a lot of bad and good in it, so I can't say I straight-up tbh.

 

[ManByTheRiver]

I don't hate the world, nor do I hate myself. I actually quite like myself, and of course there's bad things in the world I also think there's so much good in it. There's just limits to what one person can endure within the mind on a daily basis before they want to check out despite the good things.

 

[Ktk]

I'm just tired

 

[tieiwi]

Both. I hate the person I am. I hate my reality, who my parents are, my life story. It set me up for failure. When I say I hate this world I mean people. People can be so mean, apathetic, and cruel. Things I've seen recently made me lose my faith in all of humanity. I want out.

 

[NancyVicious]

I hate myself for never being enough. I've tried to fix that and although I'm a better person than I once was, sometimes it's too late to right a life of bad choices. I hate myself for ending up this way.

I don't hate the world but it isn't a kind place to be. I used to hope that ultimately if you treat others well you would receive it back in return. But it's not usually the case. I used to get angry about it but now I'm just sad

 

[sserafim]

Exactly what the question sounds like.

I personally hate myself...but I kinda hate the world too though ima go with hating myself

I hate the world and having to live in it. The world wasn't built or meant for people like me (neurodivergent people). Honestly I think that hell doesn't exist and rather is this world. I hate my Asperger's/autism as well. It's honestly a curse.

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

I hate myself and living with someone I hate is getting more and more impossible to stand.

 

[Loindelaterre]

I don't love myself without hating myself, I love others but it's life that doesn't love me. Life has become too difficult and pointless.

 

[PanaxMan]

Exactly what the question sounds like.

I personally hate myself...but I kinda hate the world too though ima go with hating myself

FYI, it's either I've seen you around so much on this website, or there is just so many people with the same pfp on here. (Doesn't matter, just a rant.)
EIther way, my answer to this question: (Main reason for desire to ctb) Do you hate yourself, hate the world, or both?[
I kinda hate myself, but the reason why is how the world works, honestly.

I'm not sure about people on here, but I just recently just randomly decided to start researching more of about the world around me. I came across this video which makes sense in my mind and I Want to share it.

It's on YouTube (Honestly, I used to praise YouTube, but man it is getting boring af) It explains a whole lot of shit in this world.



It's crazy and I am lazy but watching the video helped me realize why the fuck my life sucks like dogshit.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Well both. Somehow i had parents and a doctor who thought it was a good idea to let me live a life while having a skull deformity. And even worse, they still dont understand why it makes me so depressed some people are just fking braindead.

 

[sadproton]

my boyfriend isn't unhealthily obsessed with me as i am with him <\3 everyday is a loop of pain. i want to explode

Holy fuuuu I understand sooo much. I ended up impulsively breaking up with my (now ex) GF. Absolutely stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Want to explode even more now.

My recommendation is try to be patient and get your problems sorted out. Way less painful than the breakup route. Take my word for it D:

 

[KillerIsMe]

I hate myself. I love the world, but I find it ill-fitting.

 

[Deicius]

Life's just one big yawn, man. This void inside us ain't shrinking, and ain't nothing gonna plug it up. The thought of dragging myself through the same old grind 'til I hit sixty or seventy? Ugh, sounds like living on repeat, like stuck in a never-ending loop of Groundhog Day, but without the laughs.