Yeah, that's hard for me to do. It's not like I come right out and say that I'm going to kill myself in a few months, but my family and friends all know that I'm deeply depressed and that I'm spiraling downwards. I can't pretend anymore that I've got my shit together because I don't and that's apparent just by looking at me. Try having a conversation with me and it's even worse because everybody keeps trying to give me advice on how to stay positive and fight off panic attacks, and I'm rejecting all of it outright because nothing is working for me anymore. I'm too far gone. I should have been out of here months ago, but I had too many loose ends to wrap up. Now, I'm too much of a hot mess, so I'm just going to have rush through things and probably leave a big mess behind for my family to deal with.