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Had my session with my psychologue. She was helpful and understanding. Gave me homework.
Had a tipsy drink Wich repressed my emotions. I' m having a coffee right now so i wake up a bit. I' m carefree of my surronding. It was 18%alcohol so it made very typsie.
I don't see how i would cope otherwise.
Need to drive so i have to wake up.
Once i do i will recuperate my scooter. I need money though. So once i wake up. I will drive there with a friend.vim a dependant person si hopefully my sister will give me money.
1. I got to have a long call with some friends I don't get to talk with often
2. At work my coworkers seemed excited to see me and it made me happy
3. I ate soup
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Jonbonesjones, Huntfish34, leaf23 and 1 other person
Clearly a better day compared to the last ones
Today was my free day and I really enjoyed it.
I listened to many super interesting texts on politics
Phoned with my friends and had some fun
I felt more relaxed. I struggle with that but comparatively it was a good day
I hope very much my sleeping issues decrease they really frighten me a lot.
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Today was productive as I got my scooter working and better finally.
Going to have an an other langual frenectemie with Lazer for more improvement for my speech at the bottom of my tongue.
Did few little helpefull a stuff.
Like my intention were clear toward people.
More communicative.
I will wake up probably 10 o'clock tomorrow. Having one intention to buy a cover for my scooter turbulateur so it stays intact for whatever raison it is necessary. I have just enough money.
Driving make me carefree about society.
My next intentions is to fix my scooter chair and buy some supplies in to better the outlook, maybe fix contact key issues. I have few months until I get to work as a taxi driver so this my focus now.
Money is an issue but I will take it easy first thing first.
Let's hope, false or delusional, knowing I overuse xanax to conrol my cptsd.
Lest see how tomorrow goes I will update.
1. I am still calm because the day yesterday was so relaxing
2. Tomorrow I meet someone from my support network I hope talking might help to cope with the pressure
the exam time will be hellish. Though if I stay stable I will enjoy the time afterwards. I already started a to do list with potential things I enjoy
It is pretty essential to stay healthy. This exam time will be the worst so far because the number of exams increased. I realized that 5 minutes ago it is pretty scary when I think about it.
3. Currently I allow myself to eat 2-3 cookies a day. It is a perfect match-up to my coffee. I hope I won't gain too much weight because of it.
I found some extra art stickers that I had been gifted, but were obscured by the wrapping around it. I didn't even realize they were there until today, so it was a nice surprise—plan on adding them to my journal.
A close friend of mine reached out to me. I tend to intensely withdraw from everyone during my lows. Being reminded that there is someone who genuinely cares, despite my flaws, was something I needed.
Today is the calmest I've felt in months. Consistently struggling with depression, intrusive thoughts, and suicide ideation is exhausting. My mind thankfully gave me a break today.
1. Snuggled under my toasty-warm blanket
2. No anxiety-inducing social interactions today (didn't have to go out, no unexpected visitors/calls)
3. New episode of one of my favorite webtoons is soooo GOOD (weak hero 229 anyone?)
Yesterday and this morning were beautiful. I had much time to relax. And enjoyed to listen to newsmagazine articles. However I am not sure whether I am in a manic epsiode which would change my whole life for a couple of years.
Though now I try to focus on the positive.
1. Read pretty interesting articles on politics
2. Ate two cookies which tasted super
3. Video games can give me joy
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1. I have enough beer to last me the day
2 . I have enough cigarettes and weed
3. I'm gonna micro dose on some mushrooms, enjoy nature for a bit, dive off into a Nice weighted blanket , get lost in the Dallas Cowboys game and enjoy the company of my Mom and Dad before I leave and get ready for another week of fckn bullshit, work.
1. got to sleep together with somebody I love again, instead of struggling in the night
2. food delivery is arriving soon
3. Diazepam made me feel drowsy and I can't think seriously about anything too bad
I love seeing everybody's responses on this thread!! here goes mine:
1. i ate 3 healthy meals,
2. i didnt binge on anything as soon as i came home from a terrible shift!
3. i'm now in bed with my cat, drinking chamomile tea
My psychiatrist thinks I am not manic. However I am not sure whether that is really representative. Yesterday I took a benzo and for some other reasons I felt better today. But I don't want to question her assessment too much. So I am pretty happy about that.
I spent some money in a game to give me pleasure but I am a little bit concerned it is gacha. I am good at impulse control so I hope it won't escalate. I spent 1 euro. Lol. Though this is often how it starts.
Tomorrow is my free day. And I hope it will be pretty relaxing and funny. I could need such a day now.
1. Called in sick, took a break from work
2. Made it to an AA meeting which was great for me, topic was on resentments which was EXACTLY what I needed
3. Ended up putting the barrel to my head and didn't pull the trigger, Here for another day. Still breathing.
My therapist told me statistics show you can become way more happy if you do that every day.
My day today was pretty shitty but I will try.
(It is really a hard question today)
1.Me and my dad had an argument on the phone and suddenly the connection was lost. That was quite good. lol
2. In the morning I was less depressed (the evening is fucking with me)
3. One of my Youtube videos had more views than usual
1) I dont know why, but I have more energy the last days, so today I cleaned my flat a little. That makes me very happy, because mess is a big problem.
2) I helped a friend, I drove her to the city.
3) I watched a good movie about some crazy, good people in a psych ward. I love watching this, I feel less lonely and weird if I see others who are also crazy.
I'm glad you have more energy, that's Nice. One of my big problems.... getting the motivation to clean up the mess i make.
1. Didn't kill myself....... SI has Really started to fuck with me in a dark and morbid way lately..... But I was able to keep my head up and enjoy a couple new songs i discovered. Kept busy as much as I could.
2.. Was able to talk with a good friend that I've lost touch with lately.
3... Was able to help my Dad a bit and picked up some coffee filters for him.
-Still I feel somewhat relaxed I take addictive medication to survive the exams the shit kills me alive
-I really love the new outlets where I find interesting articles
-I love the cookies I eat sadly I gained weight. But as long as I have exams I am not too strict on that.
1- I'm mostly over the panic attack I had. 2- I had the energy to get up to shower and be productive to fight off the sinking depression I'm having rn. 3- My dick still works so that's nice to know!!!
1. I found a good podcast to listen to when I wake up in the middle of the night that puts me back to sleep
2. I found a solution to a problem that was causing me a huge amount of stress.
3. I'm cooking a juicy 2 inch thick bone in rib-eye for dinner.
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