EmployedHikikomori
Member
- Jul 13, 2026
- 48
A week or so ago, I was looking through my collection of NSFW pic and vid I curated over the years. One set jumped out of me because the 'model' who posted them has been gone for a year.
Without giving out to much info of this person, they were an amateur model and a would be V-Tuber had they stayed on earth. I was a part of thier fallowing and supported them when I could. I can't say I knew them very well or even had a meaningful relationship. I think I only DMed them once or twice on X (formally know as twitter). I was still shocked and sad to learm they had CTB.
I wanted to go back and see the post that confirmed this, but the account had since been deleted. Which is for the best. However I can feel but something's wrong about it. Than it hit me!
That person was one among many amateur NSFW models and would-be-Vtubers on X. Their short career there was but a flicker of light in a sky full of stars. I mean this person had friends and mutals that can be described as their peers. I don't have a shortage of NSFW, lewd, or even suggestive pics or videos by this person's circle. So objectively, very little is lost.
THAT'S AWFUL!
This person had a partner, friends, family, and so many people care about them. And life just moved on without them. I have no idea how they're doing a year later. Given I'm upset about their passing, I can only imagine how they're doing.
I than think of all the people I have lost. High school friends, family, co-workers, pets... they were a great lost to me, but I moved on not because I'm heartless but because life demands it! I still pause and grieve for those I've lost. But I still move on with time.
This make realize how people will react when I CTB. My family would cry and morn for me, but in time they will live thier lives as they always have. My job will replace me, my friends will forget me, and my family would burry me and move on.
Life is cruel. At least when I CTB, I don't have to deal with life any more.
Without giving out to much info of this person, they were an amateur model and a would be V-Tuber had they stayed on earth. I was a part of thier fallowing and supported them when I could. I can't say I knew them very well or even had a meaningful relationship. I think I only DMed them once or twice on X (formally know as twitter). I was still shocked and sad to learm they had CTB.
I wanted to go back and see the post that confirmed this, but the account had since been deleted. Which is for the best. However I can feel but something's wrong about it. Than it hit me!
That person was one among many amateur NSFW models and would-be-Vtubers on X. Their short career there was but a flicker of light in a sky full of stars. I mean this person had friends and mutals that can be described as their peers. I don't have a shortage of NSFW, lewd, or even suggestive pics or videos by this person's circle. So objectively, very little is lost.
THAT'S AWFUL!
This person had a partner, friends, family, and so many people care about them. And life just moved on without them. I have no idea how they're doing a year later. Given I'm upset about their passing, I can only imagine how they're doing.
I than think of all the people I have lost. High school friends, family, co-workers, pets... they were a great lost to me, but I moved on not because I'm heartless but because life demands it! I still pause and grieve for those I've lost. But I still move on with time.
This make realize how people will react when I CTB. My family would cry and morn for me, but in time they will live thier lives as they always have. My job will replace me, my friends will forget me, and my family would burry me and move on.
Life is cruel. At least when I CTB, I don't have to deal with life any more.
