Lacking motivation to CTB

[goodoldnoname923]

Maybe it's just my apprehension with the reliability of the method,maybe its the ptsd of the panic attack i had last time or maybe it's something else idk

There isn't really a part of me that wants to live persay and I definitely have reasons to want to die i just feel mentally exhausted and drained and just cba putting all the work in

Sitting over the grills taking them upstairs to the room,getting everything else ready waiting over a course or serveal hours

It's just alot of work for me to just lay in the tent probably not get anywhere and get out…it just feels like a waste of time and energy unless its going to work

 

[sorararara]

It sounds like an exhausting, scary process... your apprehension/lack of motivation is only understandable.
Take your time to figure this out. You have all the time in the world to find the motivation, or even change your mind. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I hope you choose to live and/or find some sort of peace, and I wish there was some way I could help.

 

[Z-A]

I feel like truly going for it is from desperation, not motivation. I don't think you can be motivated to CTB lol. Most people just don't have much choice anymore or they're in their worst state and impulsively commit. Anyways, I wish you success.