Venting Knowing you have the means to ctb but you haven’t done it yet

[M48 Patton]

I can do it, I have what I need, yet…I still remain. Isn't it strange to know your death is just waiting ready to go but you still despite your conditions remain…I now exist in this strange limbo zone. Reality feels false. I feel really strange and dissociated from everything around me.

It's a relief to know you can go but also weird to think about it.

Just have to prepare myself

 

[happynot]

I feel exactly the same

 

[sometimesoon]

I know I go through swings. I have a tested method now; it's just finding the right mood to use it. It's a mood that blocks out SI or any thoughts that get in the way.