Venting knowing I will eventually CTB makes me enjoy life more

[kelimackie]

life to me is just pointlessly doing the same things over and over every single day for an unknown, and presumably, long period of time

I feel panicked when thinking about having to do the same chores, talk with the same people and do the same shit every single day

so by thinking this will end soon, as less than a year soon, it makes me enjoy things more

watching a movie I really love or eating a meal I enjoy seems so much more pleasant when I know it will be the last times I do those things

does anyone has the same feeling?

 

[girlsboysthems]

yeah, its like an anxiety relief thing. just knowing its ending soon (and having a plan) makes me feel way better than i would without it.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Same, and even better it reduced my fears. My biggest fears used to be going blind and my dad dying. Now I just don't care, because I know I have a way out. The option of ctb also makes me not care what others think about me. I'm free to be an obnoxious hobo without giving a damn. It definitely makes me enjoy life more.

 

[kelimackie]

Same, and even better it reduced my fears. My biggest fears used to be going blind and my dad dying. Now I just don't care, because I know I have a way out. The option of ctb also makes me not care what others think about me. I'm free to be an obnoxious hobo without giving a damn. It definitely makes me enjoy life more.

SAME, one of my biggest concerns was being an old person with diabetes and Alzheimer's and now that won't be a problem anymore :)

 

[todienomore]

"What really saved me was the idea of suicide. Without the idea of suicide, I would have surely killed myself." Emil Cioran

 

[Cryptonite]

Please, enjoy, but also do not get sucked into this false feeling of "comfort in suffering". You actually need to keep working on the last step to get it done. Otherwise your "enjoyment" will last your whole lifetime and eventually you will die in the old age, having lived your whole life in a mental prison.

 

[kelimackie]

Please, enjoy, but also do not get sucked into this false feeling of "comfort in suffering". You actually need to keep working on the last step to get it done. Otherwise your "enjoyment" will last your whole lifetime and eventually you will die in the old age, having lived your whole life in a mental prison.

oh don't get me wrong, I still fucking hate the boredom of doing the same shit every day, I just finally am able to enjoy the things I like, because without a prospect to end, then it would all be just as meaningless as the boring shit