losttagain
Member
- Sep 10, 2024
- 72
Hello. This is my first time writing in this section but I tried a new therapist and I think she's the first one I can't manipulate. Like she gets my mental spiraling and can actually help with actual actions for me to do and clear out the mental fog. I feel like if I start a routine and do everything she tells me to do I could get better, but all this work would just to get functional, I can't even think about the work to feel and act like a person again. I really want to try, this is my last try after all the times I already gave up. I feel like if it don't work this time, I will go back to my plan. A little part of me stil has the strength to try again. I'm really leaning on my therapist, like a little kid who needs to learn how to walk again, like she said. I don't even care if I'm being a puppet and not thinking, I just want to get better. I know I'm still gonna struggle daily with suicidal thoughts, even if I stop coming here to this site, but I wanna try… I'm slowly accepting that I wanna try… maybe it's just because I'm not brave enough to kms, but at least that's something right? Idk… if someone who's on the same path wanna talk would be nice. At least I think it would help me more than talking to people who are 100% suicidal… I really don't know. Thanks for reading :)
