Just took SN

[butterflyguy]

Mixed up 27g SN with a small amount of water. Took a sip. Tastes salty. Don't think it'll kill me but compulsively wanted to try it. Will see how it goes.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Kind of an odd thing to do. Hopefully this passes without harming your health.

 

[pinkblur]

here's a recent similar thread. take care of yourself, and please be safe

I ran a SN simulation with Table Salt

I was curious about how it'd taste so I drank a mixture of 25g of table salt with 50mL of water. It was really, really salty and I was immediately hit by nausea. My throat hurt slightly so I chewed some gum to make it a little better - it worked. I didn't feel any pain but my stomach felt...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[butterflyguy]

Kind of an odd thing to do. Hopefully this passes without harming your health.

Odd in what way?

 

[dolemitedrums]

Odd in what way?

I don't know...let's try a bit of poison just to see how it tastes?

 

[butterflyguy]

I don't know...let's try a bit of poison just to see how it tastes?

Yes fair enough. I'm finding it easier to move forward with ctb through gradual steps. For example I compulsively hunted down the SN. Then compulsively ordered it. Then tasted it. Now I've drank a little. I find comfort in taking the steps gradually. I hope that I take the step too far and peacefully die. Not have some dramatic moment about taking the fatal dose of it.

I'll keep you posted with any symptoms. My hands currently feel a little cold. I feel ever so slightly breathless. My feet feel a little numb and tingly.

Yes fair enough. I'm finding it easier to move forward with ctb through gradual steps. For example I compulsively hunted down the SN. Then compulsively ordered it. Then tasted it. Now I've drank a little. I find comfort in taking the steps gradually. I hope that I take the step too far and peacefully die. Not have some dramatic moment about taking the fatal dose of it.

I'll keep you posted with any symptoms. My hands currently feel a little cold. I feel ever so slightly breathless. My feet feel a little numb and tingly.

I have issues with compulsively and passivity phenomena. Where I have no control of my actions and I feel like a small person behind my eye watching me do things. It's normally when that darker side of me takes over. In a DiD type of way. I was fine earlier today. Then the suicidal ideation and impulses just kicked in with no warning, like a switch was flicked. I'm in therapy for DiD but it'll take too long to fix and manage as far as I'm aware; comparatively to the rate that I'm taking the SN.

 

[lostintheloop]

If you don't want to die, or at least don't want to right now/ not have things prepared to, then it's a bad idea to mess with SN. Surprisingly small amounts have killed people before. And rather than get used to the taste after testing, it may actually get harder to do again if it makes you feel sick, as your body remembers.
Just like tablets i ODed on in past, even just taking 1 makes me gag now.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Do you want to take a shot at seeing if the treatment will make things manageable? Is it just that you think compulsively moving toward SN will happen faster as opposed to it being your preferred plan?

 

[butterflyguy]

7:06 Hands feel tingly. Chest feels a little colder. Ears hurt a little?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

A while ago I tested 200 mg of a 2 year old sn. My heart beat very fast with only 200 mg. So I think 30 grams will kill me hopefully.

Wanted to see if it was good and would kill me . I have more confidence in that sn after the tests. I need to die I want to die

Also tested 400 mg . A little stronger effect

No pain. Just fast heartbeat

 

[butterflyguy]

Do you want to take a shot at seeing if the treatment will make things manageable? Is it just that you think compulsively moving toward SN will happen faster as opposed to it being your preferred plan?

It's so hard. At this stage we've barely scratched the surface. I appreciate the sentiment. But I just can't see myself making it through that amount of time and pain.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How r u doing now? How do you feel?

Just, if you don't wanna die, call an ambulance early enough.

I drank SN and had mixed feelings after it was over.

First thing, no I will not share with anyone, in a thread or dms where I found my SN. I apologize but it's something I will never be comfortable sharing. I found the source and tested it completely on my own, so it is possible, therefore I will not share my source with anyone. Background my mom...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I drank SN and had mixed feelings after it was over.

First thing, no I will not share with anyone, in a thread or dms where I found my SN. I apologize but it's something I will never be comfortable sharing. I found the source and tested it completely on my own, so it is possible, therefore I will not share my source with anyone. Background my mom...

www.sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[rozeske]

I hope you are doing alright and not in too much discomfort.

 

[dolemitedrums]

How you holding up man?

 

[butterflyguy]

I feel … ok. Mentally, I'm reassuring myself that we're all going to die soon/eventually anyway so what's the difference if I go a little earlier (tonight).

Physically I feel ok. Trying not to overthink it. Thanks for being here with me

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

I don't know...let's try a bit of poison just to see how it tastes?

I want to know how it feels too, but with my preferred ctb method being a shotgun its quite hard lol

 

[mistymoo]

I feel … ok. Mentally, I'm reassuring myself that we're all going to die soon/eventually anyway so what's the difference if I go a little earlier (tonight).

Physically I feel ok. Trying not to overthink it. Thanks for being here with me

You're not alone and we're here for you

 

[butterflyguy]

You're not alone and we're here for you

Thank you so much
I was just thinking I have literally nobody in my life to talk to about this right now. I'm even new to this community (first post) so I don't even have any friends here yet. So thank you

 

[mistymoo]

Thank you so much
I was just thinking I have literally nobody in my life to talk to about this right now. I'm even new to this community (first post) so I don't even have any friends here yet. So thank you

Welcome to the community! I don't really have any friends on here either, but I definitely have some folks I've grown fond of by accident lol. But personally I'm scared to get close to anyone anymore. That being said however this community can be really special in that we're all rooting for each other to find peace

 

[dolemitedrums]

So it's been an hour and some. Have the symptoms stopped escalating?

 

[butterflyguy]

Update 8:22pm
Slight headache
Slight stomach ache
Slight tingling of feet, hands, ears
Hands and arms feel cold
Getting increasingly drowsy but trying to resist sleep

 

[andreamysk]

Hi, @butterflyman, I understand your compulsiveness and I really hope that the therapy you are doing can help you (and that this forum can also be of comfort to you: welcome) but I hope you have realized that you have taken a dose even higher than that considered as certainly fatal in the protocols. Are you sure that it was really 27 grams? grams? Had you tested it? Didn't you vomit? If you are still among us (I really hope so) it would be good if you could also reassure the other users about this method (because otherwise it would be a strange anomaly ...). A hug

 

[tsykoais]

uh op is this a goodbye thread? i hope ur ok

 

[butterflyguy]

uh op is this a goodbye thread? i hope ur ok

No I think I'm ok. Thank you. I didn't drink the whole lot, just a little bit.

Hi, @butterflyman, I understand your compulsiveness and I really hope that the therapy you are doing can help you (and that this forum can also be of comfort to you: welcome) but I hope you have realized that you have taken a dose even higher than that considered as certainly fatal in the protocols. Are you sure that it was really 27 grams? grams? Had you tested it? Didn't you vomit? If you are still among us (I really hope so) it would be good if you could also reassure the other users about this method (because otherwise it would be a strange anomaly ...). A hug

I mixed 27g into the water and dissolved it fully (warm water, used micro scales) but I didn't drink the whole lot, just a small bit tonight.

 

[dolemitedrums]

So given that it seems unlikely our homeboy is going to catch the bus from what he drank...does anyone who knows more about SN than me have any suggestions just for good practices to avoid poor health or permanent damage for him today, if that's a risk? I mean...drink a lot of water or whatever?

 

[andreamysk]

No I think I'm ok. Thank you. I didn't drink the whole lot, just a little bit.


I mixed 27g into the water and dissolved it fully (warm water, used micro scales) but I didn't drink the whole lot, just a small bit tonight.

Well, I really hope you don't get hurt (if it was really a small sip). Be careful with what's left in the glass.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

so how much SN do you actually need so it's a guaranteed death? I ordered mined, seems to be on the way

 

[stoiccactus]

Checking in. You okay? Still with us?

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best.

 

[sanction]

Damn, OP explained the whole experience really clear and well. In some ways, I felt like I was able to imagine some of the feelings

From the sounds of it, this SN stuff really not to be played with. Just a small sip, and seems like its already doing a portion of the job

Hope you are doing alright. Would you say the amount you took, was similar to a teaspoon?