Discussion just ingested 15 2 mg alprazolam bars

[autonecrotic]

to preface this i know how unreliable overdosing is as a method. but i just ingested 15 or so 2 mg bars of alprazolam after a full bottle of wine. i still have another 15 and tempted to take those. but at the end of the day i know it will probably just end up with me sleeping for the next 2 days. i just dont know. i find it kind of funny ive been avoiding just straight self harm through cutting or cigarette burns before just jumping straight back into this sort of shit. i know it will never be lethal enough even though ive heard so many stories of it working so i get really frustrated. i just dont know or understand i guess. i just want to do it with no more thoughts. just end it while i still have access to the things that i would prefer to go with. and YES i have heard enough how much this is a "non-method" but with so much research out there on deaths related to benzos specifically alprazolam mixed with other central nervous depressants such as alcohol it still gives me hope it could he possible. becauee of course i downed a full bottle of wine as well. idk. should i take the other 15 or just save it bevause we know i will survive and im gonna want the rest to numb my pain for the amount of time i can afterwards. and please dont come here stating "wow this is such a non method why even consider it" . I KNOW THAT ALREADY. this is just my first preference and i wish and wish and wish it could work. call me stubborn. i just want to go this way . no hate to anyone. i just am so at a loss at this point. im already 15 deep and just want to keep going. but at that point like. will i just sleep for a full day and wake up again fine? probably which makes me so fucking angry. im so over all this bullshit

 

[nettspend]

Been there, done that! Worst thing with benzos is that you end up doing a bunch of questionable things that you don't remember when you wake up lol. Have you considered mixing with opiates?

 

[autonecrotic]

Been there, done that! Worst thing with benzos is that you end up doing a bunch of questionable things that you don't remember when you wake up lol. Have you considered mixing with opiates?

i fucking wish i could but i have no access to them right now on a normal market. id do anything to get my hands on morphine. but yeah im SOL right now in that department.

 

[CarbonBased]

I don't know anything about this method, but I wanna say that it's generally better to make a decision before you get drunk. By the way, you're writing surprisingly coherently for somebody who's down a bottle of wine. Impressive!
Also, sorry for your situation :(

 

[nettspend]

i fucking wish i could but i have no access to them right now on a normal market. id do anything to get my hands on morphine. but yeah im SOL right now in that department.

Well, in that case you might as well save the rest of your xanax as it won't bring you any closer to death. I hope you one day manage to improve, or find a peaceful way out. Whichever you prefer.

Enjoy your nap!