Jumping in a couple hours

[seigfried]

Thanks for letting us know. I failed at my jump and live in pain daily.

if you don't mind me asking, what happened? are you bound to a wheelchair now?

 

[Disabledfromjump7]

if you don't mind me asking, what happened? are you bound to a wheelchair now?

I can walk in a limited capacity. I use walker, cane and wheelchair to function while out. I can walk in a restaurant on a cane but need a wheelchair in a store.

I basically went into sleep deprivation psychosis. Jumped off a 100ft overpass, hit grass and tore my pelvis off my spine. I also punctured a lung and busted my bladder. My right foot is now paralyzed.
I had 13 surgeries to be "functional" but I am not really functional to be honest.

Everyone says it was a miracle I survived but I'm miserable and would have chosen death over this. I'm still here for complicated reasons.

Do you have any other questions I can answer?

 

[HNR_]

Thanks for letting us know. I failed at my jump and live in pain daily.

So sorry to hear that...

 

[seigfried]

I can walk in a limited capacity. I use walker, cane and wheelchair to function while out. I can walk in a restaurant on a cane but need a wheelchair in a store.

I basically went into sleep deprivation psychosis. Jumped off a 100ft overpass, hit grass and tore my pelvis off my spine. I also punctured a lung and busted my bladder. My right foot is now paralyzed.
I had 13 surgeries to be "functional" but I am not really functional to be honest.

Everyone says it was a miracle I survived but I'm miserable and would have chosen death over this. I'm still here for complicated reasons.

Do you have any other questions I can answer?

hope you find peace in your situation whether in this life or the afterlife. i think i'm going through sleep deprivation psychosis right now. i'm driving a semi truck 16 hours a day and barely getting sleep 3 hours of sleep a day getting paid close to nothing because it's under the table for my dad, he hasn't paid me in the last 2 months of working and he's gonna start paying me $7 an hour so i'm thinking i might just quit. i wrote a few threads about it and it's the main cause of my sducidal thoughts. The times i do get sleep i dream about suicide, i think about it all day while staring at that black asphalt. i imagine that feeling is crazy. everyone saying how it's a blessing when deep down in your heart you hate that you didn't die that day. how could they say it was a miracle knowing that you were trying to take your life that day? what do you mean when you say you're still here for complicated reasons? How does it feel when everyone says it's a "miracle" knowing you don't want to be here? are you actively dealing with suicidal thoughts?

 

[Disabledfromjump7]

hope you find peace in your situation whether in this life or the afterlife. i think i'm going through sleep deprivation psychosis right now. i'm driving a semi truck 16 hours a day and barely getting sleep 3 hours of sleep a day getting paid close to nothing because it's under the table for my dad, he hasn't paid me in the last 2 months of working and he's gonna start paying me $7 an hour so i'm thinking i might just quit. i wrote a few threads about it and it's the main cause of my sducidal thoughts. The times i do get sleep i dream about suicide, i think about it all day while staring at that black asphalt.

I was gettin 3-4 hours a night while trying to learn to use a cpap machine and it threw me into sleep deprivation psychosis in 2 months. That's the only reason i jumped.

i imagine that feeling is crazy. everyone saying how it's a blessing when deep down in your heart you hate that you didn't die that day. how could they say it was a miracle knowing that you were trying to take your life that day? what do you mean when you say you're still here for complicated reasons? How does it feel when everyone says it's a "miracle" knowing you don't want to be here? are you actively dealing with suicidal thoughts?

It is annoying to hear. I am here to figure out a way to ctb at some point. I am in a situation where I currently have help from my husband but I don't think he can sustain this for a long time tbh. For now I'm reading about SN and other methods. I wish this had never happened or that I had died. Living like this is horrible.

 

[seigfried]

I was gettin 3-4 hours a night while trying to learn to use a cpap machine and it threw me into sleep deprivation psychosis in 2 months. That's the only reason i jumped.

It is annoying to hear. I am here to figure out a way to ctb at some point. I am in a situation where I currently have help from my husband but I don't think he can sustain this for a long time tbh. For now I'm reading about SN and other methods. I wish this had never happened or that I had died. Living like this is horrible.

sleep deprivation really does bring up the worst thoughts. it's torture for your psyche. i've heard about SN too, that might be the best way to go honestly. i wish they made suicide legal it's so inhumane to keep us in a world we never wanted to exist in. i hope you get better mentally and if not i hope you find peace in whatever decision you chose to make.

 

[ashytiger]

I was gettin 3-4 hours a night while trying to learn to use a cpap machine and it threw me into sleep deprivation psychosis in 2 months. That's the only reason i jumped.

It is annoying to hear. I am here to figure out a way to ctb at some point. I am in a situation where I currently have help from my husband but I don't think he can sustain this for a long time tbh. For now I'm reading about SN and other methods. I wish this had never happened or that I had died. Living like this is horrible.

Hello. First off I admire you courage. One question comes to my mind and I am very sorry if this question is indiscreet. Did you feel physical pain at landing ?

 

[Disabledfromjump7]

Hello. First off I admire you courage. One question comes to my mind and I am very sorry if this question is indiscreet. Did you feel physical pain at landing ?

I felt nothing! I must have been in shock because there was no pain. An ambulance came for me within the hour and then I was at hospital with morphine so I felt nothing through the experience. Had I been isolated I'm guessing I would have been in excruciating pain and starved to death over days but I was in public so it was different.

 

[ashytiger]

I felt nothing! I must have been in shock because there was no pain. An ambulance came for me within the hour and then I was at hospital with morphine so I felt nothing through the experience. Had I been isolated I'm guessing I would have been in excruciating pain and starved to death over days but I was in public so it was different.

Okay, thank you very much for your answer. I am curious what did you feel during the fall, was it very fast or a slow experience ?

 

[Disabledfromjump7]

Okay, thank you very much for your answer. I am curious what did you feel during the fall, was it very fast or a slow experience ?

I was in psychosis but I remembered putting my right foot forward and walking off the overpass while closing my eyes. After that I felt nothing through. I didn't feel the fall. It is very weird. It was fine. I just closed my eyes and it was over.

I just didn't die. I wish it hadn't of happened or that I had died. Living disabled has been a huge nightmare I'd wish on no one.

 

[ashytiger]

I was in psychosis but I remembered putting my right foot forward and walking off the overpass while closing my eyes. After that I felt nothing through. I didn't feel the fall. It is very weird. It was fine. I just closed my eyes and it was over.

I just didn't die. I wish it hadn't of happened or that I had died. Living disabled has been a huge nightmare I'd wish on no one.

Okay. I am asking this because I plan on jumping from a bridge. It is about 229ft high on concrete and I hope to die. What scared me was falling in terror and then feeling terrible pain when landing but reading your testimony I guess it's not that terrible... the main problem would be being sure of not surviving. Did you lose consciousness after falling?

 

[Disabledfromjump7]

Okay. I am asking this because I plan on jumping from a bridge. It is about 229ft high on concrete and I hope to die. What scared me was falling in terror and then feeling terrible pain when landing but reading your testimony I guess it's not that terrible... the main problem would be being sure of not surviving. Did you lose consciousness after falling?

I don't know if I lost consciousness. I think I was functioning after the fall because there are accounts of me talking to the emergency helpers. I don't remember much except putting my hands in a heart shape while in the ambulance to communicate.