hoppybunny
Fearer of the Future
- Jun 26, 2024
- 282
So i got my resume reviewed again and as i thought my projects are one of the main reasons i'm not getting any replies. I think I was 90% certain about this, but since august i have done nothing to make a new project. so it's mostly my fault.
my issue is that while getting my resume reviewed I was asked, do you see yourself enjoying this for the next 5 years. And what are yo upassionate about in the feild. And it's like obviously this isn't the place for me to say, I'm not passionate about anything and my biggest dream is to die in my sleep and cease to exist. or live in a forest for a long time so no one can speak to me, till i get bored and choose to rejoin society. Like so I said, i'm not sure yet.
but i feel so sick and like puking cause why do i need to be passionate about anything. I literally just want to make enough to move out. And my family puts so much pressure on me. They act like they're supportive but in reality they only care about how they can brag about their kids and tbh have no goals outside of us. My mum literaly said this morning, don't you feel bad for me cause i wear similar clothes all the time. LIKE?!? why would i feel bad for you for dressing how i like.
i'm so sick of all this job hunting stuff, and i hate that my only options are to keep living with my parents and mentally suffer, or move out and lose contact with my entire family and work a minimum wage job (if any will even hire me atp) and destroy myself both physically and mentally,
it's such a no win situation for me rn.
I got advise on what project i should build and the entire time he was talking< i just kept getting more and more nauseous cause the idea of making the project was so boring and felt like such a boring endeavour. just like everything else in my life. I can't even play video games cause the reading is too much and it requires too much effort.
I've noticed even doom scrolling is becoming a hassle too. Being a cognitive human being is becoming too much work. I can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to lose focus on any goals I had or why anything i want to do in life is worth all this stress,
LIke even my main passion which is to make art and draw comics just doesn't feel worth the struggle. I can't remeber the last time I watched an art tutorial or practiced to improve my skill.
I will just do my best to work on the project despite my disinterest since suicide is not an option and this is really the only thing I can do for myself to leave my house but I really am sick of this whole job thing.
my issue is that while getting my resume reviewed I was asked, do you see yourself enjoying this for the next 5 years. And what are yo upassionate about in the feild. And it's like obviously this isn't the place for me to say, I'm not passionate about anything and my biggest dream is to die in my sleep and cease to exist. or live in a forest for a long time so no one can speak to me, till i get bored and choose to rejoin society. Like so I said, i'm not sure yet.
but i feel so sick and like puking cause why do i need to be passionate about anything. I literally just want to make enough to move out. And my family puts so much pressure on me. They act like they're supportive but in reality they only care about how they can brag about their kids and tbh have no goals outside of us. My mum literaly said this morning, don't you feel bad for me cause i wear similar clothes all the time. LIKE?!? why would i feel bad for you for dressing how i like.
i'm so sick of all this job hunting stuff, and i hate that my only options are to keep living with my parents and mentally suffer, or move out and lose contact with my entire family and work a minimum wage job (if any will even hire me atp) and destroy myself both physically and mentally,
it's such a no win situation for me rn.
I got advise on what project i should build and the entire time he was talking< i just kept getting more and more nauseous cause the idea of making the project was so boring and felt like such a boring endeavour. just like everything else in my life. I can't even play video games cause the reading is too much and it requires too much effort.
I've noticed even doom scrolling is becoming a hassle too. Being a cognitive human being is becoming too much work. I can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to lose focus on any goals I had or why anything i want to do in life is worth all this stress,
LIke even my main passion which is to make art and draw comics just doesn't feel worth the struggle. I can't remeber the last time I watched an art tutorial or practiced to improve my skill.
I will just do my best to work on the project despite my disinterest since suicide is not an option and this is really the only thing I can do for myself to leave my house but I really am sick of this whole job thing.
