Venting jesus fuck i'm exhausted

[notsosillybilly]

sorry for the lack of posts, too much has been happening for the past couple weeks. i don't really feel like going into heavy detail rn because i'm very tired and overall it's just alot, but it feels like everytime i'm close to getting my life together, i keep going back to my destructive habits. i've been getting high almost everyday so my addiction is getting worse, but i physically can't get myself to stop. i'm tired of working, i'm tired of being around people, i'm tired of getting up early everyday I WANNA GIVE UP. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUST GIVE UP ON ME SO I DONT HAVE A REASON TO STAY ALIVE. i'm nothing but a failure i ruined so many relationships with people and i haven't got shit accomplished with finding housing. i just wanna lay down and smoke my life away

 

[FlankerSandwhich]

sorry for the lack of posts, too much has been happening for the past couple weeks. i don't really feel like going into heavy detail rn because i'm very tired and overall it's just alot, but it feels like everytime i'm close to getting my life together, i keep going back to my destructive habits. i've been getting high almost everyday so my addiction is getting worse, but i physically can't get myself to stop. i'm tired of working, i'm tired of being around people, i'm tired of getting up early everyday I WANNA GIVE UP. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUST GIVE UP ON ME SO I DONT HAVE A REASON TO STAY ALIVE. i'm nothing but a failure i ruined so many relationships with people and i haven't got shit accomplished with finding housing. i just wanna lay down and smoke my life away

I'm sorry you're going through this. Having self destructive habits is difficult because even if you want to stop, you don't know how to. I want to tell you that you aren't a monster, and that your struggle doesn't make you a bad person

Its okay that you're tired and want to rest. Life is very hard, more so than people give credit for, and regardless of what anyone says, the fact that you were able to even just wake up today is incredible. Despite all your challenges, you still opened your eyes to face another day, and that makes you beautiful. Of course, if you feel like you can't, that's fine too. I'm in this site too after all, and you shouldn't feel ashamed for wanting to give up

I understand the feeling of failure. I don't know your exact experiences, so I won't say that I understand your situation entirely, but I do know that failure sucks, and constantly feeling like you're letting everyone down is the worst. I'm sorry you feel that way, and its okay to struggle with finding housing or even just staying in contact with people. People are really hard, and struggling with that is okay

I'm not a professional so I can't really just fix your problems, but I hope for the best for you. Wherever you end up or whatever happens, I hope you find something that works. You're not wrong or a failure, you're a human being, and that makes you beautiful

 

[roseblade]

Are we the same person? You perfectly put words to exactly how I feel. I don't wanna work, I don't wanna have goals, I'm fed up with life and I just wanna lay in bed forever and smoke. That's basically all I do anyway. Wake up, tear myself from the comfort of my death-nest, go to work, feel crippling shame and stress from being unproductive, return home, get high, crawl back into death-nest and doomscroll until sleep. If I'm feeling fancy I might even eat a meal.

Maybe someday we'll make it to Equestria /)

 

[papillon]

I really relate to this. Especially the part about why can't people give up on me so I don't have a reason to live. The last thing I'd want to do is hurt the ones who care about me. But being here is so hard sometimes