hatehypocrisy
Member
- Sep 12, 2022
- 89
I think nitrogen may not work for me, or it's entirely different from what I imagined. I have a 1600-liter industrial nitrogen tank, an oxygen regulator (although it's not perfectly suitable for nitrogen, it can still work with it), and I've made a large exit bag. I've tried to CTB several times recently, but all failed. Due to various mistakes, it even attracted the attention of the police, ambulance, and mental health doctors.
After another attempt last night, I still failed, which left me even more frustrated. It made me feel like nitrogen is not a very good method for me to CTB, and I have to look for other options.
Last night, before and after putting on the exit bag, I carefully checked everything to prevent any mistakes. Due to nervousness, I could hear my heart racing. To reduce inner fear and shift my focus, I wore VR headset and played a video, which was very effective. Although I could still hear the hissing of the nitrogen, the video helped me relax a lot. I tried to concentrate on the video to avoid stopping out of fear again.
Around a few tens of seconds into the video, I could feel the bag expanding due to the pressure of the nitrogen. However, even after about two minutes played the video, my consciousness was still very clear, and I didn't lose consciousness as some sources online suggested would happen around one minute. At around three minutes, I wasn't sure if it was due to excessive anxiety or if the nitrogen was actually having an effect, but I felt a very mild blurring of consciousness, or it could have been due to exhaustion because it was around 2:30 AM, and I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting only around 6 hours of sleep each night for various reasons. I began to recall every step I had taken, and I noticed that the bag was expanding and contracting with my deep breaths, seemingly without any issues. However, even after the video played for over 5 minutes, there didn't seem to be any significant change. My consciousness remained clear, just slightly blurry as in the third minute. I tried to breathe even more deeply, but it had no effect, and I had to stop again. I turned on the light, carefully checked the nitrogen tank and the bag, but didn't find any issues, except for a lot of condensation inside the bag due to my breathing. I failed again; CTB was too difficult, nothing like what's described online. Now, I have to look for other methods.
After another attempt last night, I still failed, which left me even more frustrated. It made me feel like nitrogen is not a very good method for me to CTB, and I have to look for other options.
Last night, before and after putting on the exit bag, I carefully checked everything to prevent any mistakes. Due to nervousness, I could hear my heart racing. To reduce inner fear and shift my focus, I wore VR headset and played a video, which was very effective. Although I could still hear the hissing of the nitrogen, the video helped me relax a lot. I tried to concentrate on the video to avoid stopping out of fear again.
Around a few tens of seconds into the video, I could feel the bag expanding due to the pressure of the nitrogen. However, even after about two minutes played the video, my consciousness was still very clear, and I didn't lose consciousness as some sources online suggested would happen around one minute. At around three minutes, I wasn't sure if it was due to excessive anxiety or if the nitrogen was actually having an effect, but I felt a very mild blurring of consciousness, or it could have been due to exhaustion because it was around 2:30 AM, and I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting only around 6 hours of sleep each night for various reasons. I began to recall every step I had taken, and I noticed that the bag was expanding and contracting with my deep breaths, seemingly without any issues. However, even after the video played for over 5 minutes, there didn't seem to be any significant change. My consciousness remained clear, just slightly blurry as in the third minute. I tried to breathe even more deeply, but it had no effect, and I had to stop again. I turned on the light, carefully checked the nitrogen tank and the bag, but didn't find any issues, except for a lot of condensation inside the bag due to my breathing. I failed again; CTB was too difficult, nothing like what's described online. Now, I have to look for other methods.